you're putting WAAAY too much stress on yourself over this.
Please don't say that. If I quiet the voice of my conscience enough, it might never speak up again.
The day I stop caring, stop stressing, stop worrying, is the day I stop fighting and never get out of bed again. It burns me up, but I need this flame to keep out the cold and the dark, to keep the engines running.
Without my anxieties, regrets, worries, and guilt, what the heck is left? What am I?
That feeling you have for Maria, your wife? The feeling of being sad when you leave her, and of wanting to be with her? That's love, dummy. I know you don't parse emotions well, and have difficulty with all land-things, but Maria loves you so much that it hurts me to read about and you love her more than you know.
You're a jerk! Horatio Hornblower deserves more time to spend with his wife so he can learn how to have feelings and be a real boy, but no, you had to make a war happen. Jerk.
You deserve whatever brilliant scheme mah boi Horatio comes up with to defeat whatevah part of yo' navy he comes up against, ya hear me! You deserve it!
Growing up having played Sid Meier's pirates made it easier to tell different boat-types from one another (sloop vs frigate), to understand points of sailing, but yeah, there's a lot of stuff I just go "boat-stuff I don't get".
When I find I have trouble remembering how Star Wars made me feel and what it should sound, look, and feel like, I just play Galactic Battlegrounds, and it makes me a little kid again.
Honestly, a hairless baboon looks quite like the picture
The cow looks pretty much like what we imagine a male Aurochs, the pre-domesticated bovine ancestor of the cow, to look like.
And the Swans are alright except for the lack of feathers.
Considering that Dinosaurs didn't have udders, hair, or feathers (most of the species thought to have feathers are based on chemical and anatomical evidence, which is circumstantial; and the cases of well-preserved "feathering" texture are essentially all from China, which I do not trust when it comes to reptiles or history or archaeology. According to the Smithsonian magazine, a distressing amount of the fossils bought from China are hoaxes, copies, bought from other nations, or otherwise compromised. You see, FEATHERED DINOSAURS ARE MAO'S COMMUNIST SCHEME TO POLLUTE OUR CHILDREN'S MINDS with REVISIONIST HISTORY! DINOSAURS ARE SUPPOSED TO HAVE GREEN TONES, WHICH ARE THE OPPOSITE OF RED, AND RED MEANS COMMUNISM. THEY'RE TRYING TO COVER UP THE TRUE GREEN, AND THE FACT THAT DINOSAURS WERE OPPOSED TO COMMUNISM).
NOTE: In all seriousness, I despise the idea of feathered non-avian Dinosaurs, but I do not think that any conspiracy to fake something like that over all these decades would actually work. In truth, there may have been a few non-avian dinosaur species which had feathers, or featherlike scales, but the evidence to prove it wouldn't be well-preserved at all (so of course it would be fragmentary, circumstantial, and sketchy, as much of paleontology is), but given the competence of paleontologists and other scientists, I must conclude that if it were possible to figure it out then they would figure it out, and it seems as though they've found as much evidence as could be expected.
I mean, I feel like I ought to be minoring in a subject that isn't actively ruining the world. I don't like programming, and I'm only doing it for practical considerations (increasing my job-getting chances).
Also, it all feels modern/innovative/corporate/fake. Like, there are all the liberal arts students studying the arts which are the soul of life, and the practical sciences learning about things that build the infrastructure of the world, and the history/archaeology/anthropology/geology/paleontology students learning about how the world became what it is, and the life-type sciences learning about how to help people, and the education majors learning how to pass down the knowledge to the next generation; and the agricultural studies figuring out how to grow crops and irrigate land and cure cattle diseases and stuff, and the business majors figuring out how to have a good economy where society can afford to do all those other things while the accounting majors keep them honest, and the theoretical-stuff major guys learning neat mind-bendy stuff, and the sociology and political scientists learning how to have a more just, free, and secure society, and here I am going "I just want a paying job, and I don't stink at math" so I major in Stats and minor in Math and CS.
I want to learn about the ancient Greeks and Romans, about how glaciers carve valleys and how tiny shells turn into limestone turns into Marble, about the influence that the Greeks and Romans on Michelangelo and how the properties of the Marble determined how Michelangelo's statues turned out to be, and how cows digest food and sturgeons lay so many eggs, I want to learn about all kinds of stuff and it's all so interesting, but I do this subject I have no interest in and which makes me miserable and which makes the world worse.
(Dang, Rozzy, learn to NOT write run-on sentences!)
The guys filling in the missing parts of Deinosuchus hatcheri are Barnum Brown (bald guy. He discovered Tyrannosaurus rex in 1902) and two guys who I assume are his assistants/coworkers/colleagues-with-less-memorable-names Roland Bird and Erich Schlaikjer. Image is from 1940, when Barnum and friends discovered Deinosuchus, so Barnum looks surprisingly old.
Giants looking at giants. History finding history.
My parents have asked me to stop talking about the legalization of marijuana because discussing the subject does nothing but make me miserable. Same with satire.
I want to stop caring so much, I want to find peace and focus on positive things. But every day I have to wake up and remember that I live in a world where the majority of people in Utah voted to legalize medicinal marijuana, where there were enough fans in Utah for that play to find profit in coming here.
I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere. Nobody agrees with me, nobody understands.
You all who are hurt by Trump and the fact that people voted for him have merely to wait years for a different president to happen. There is no fixing the problems that bother me. The world will always love Steven Colbert, Cannabis Sativa, and Stone and Parker more than it loves me.
If only I had the skills of Euripides, I would write my own Troades and make the people weep for what they’ve done. My scathing disapproval would burn them for ever.
But no. Athens always preferred Aristophanes. Athens loved Alcibiades and even forgave him.
Besides, the enslavement of Melos had no good intentions, no real excuse. It is wrong to compare disagreeing with me to that great wrong. It is wrong to compare myself facing a society which disagrees with me to Euripides and Socrates facing banishment and death.
Maybe it’s enough that I have friends and family. Maybe I don’t need the world. Maybe I can be happy with what is right instead of perseverating on what is wrong.
I’m okay, on the whole. I’ve got way more blessings than burdens.
Italics is the voice of my headsnakes (things I too often feel, but know are not true/fair/right). Bold is the voice of my reason and gratitude (things I know are true/fair/right, but don't feel often enough). Regular text is just me.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Comments
This sounds like you're putting WAAAY too much stress on yourself over this.
Try to think of things not as flavors but tools I guess.
This is one of my favorite photographs. :D
I want to stop caring so much, I want to find peace and focus on positive things. But every day I have to wake up and remember that I live in a world where the majority of people in Utah voted to legalize medicinal marijuana, where there were enough fans in Utah for that play to find profit in coming here.
I don’t belong here. I don’t belong anywhere. Nobody agrees with me, nobody understands.
You all who are hurt by Trump and the fact that people voted for him have merely to wait years for a different president to happen. There is no fixing the problems that bother me. The world will always love Steven Colbert, Cannabis Sativa, and Stone and Parker more than it loves me.
If only I had the skills of Euripides, I would write my own Troades and make the people weep for what they’ve done. My scathing disapproval would burn them for ever.
But no. Athens always preferred Aristophanes. Athens loved Alcibiades and even forgave him.
Besides, the enslavement of Melos had no good intentions, no real excuse. It is wrong to compare disagreeing with me to that great wrong. It is wrong to compare myself facing a society which disagrees with me to Euripides and Socrates facing banishment and death.
Maybe it’s enough that I have friends and family. Maybe I don’t need the world. Maybe I can be happy with what is right instead of perseverating on what is wrong.
I’m okay, on the whole. I’ve got way more blessings than burdens.
But it hurts.
I miss 2010.
I wouldn’t go back to 2010, though. I wouldn’t undo my Brother’s marriage, or getting to know you all. It has all been worth it.
Add it to the list of my favorite movies!
Spoilered for extremely sad and upsetting image.