Anonus Watches Star Wars: The Prequel Trilogy

Comments

• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:01:59

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere."

  
  

  There we go!
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:02:34

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Hey this crawl looks like it prefaces a real adventure movie!
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:03:19

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  here's a rusty old retro-future ship
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:03:32

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  War!
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:06:42

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  The humans show up and everything gets worse
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:08:02

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Artoo as rendered in mid-2000s CGI is so charmless
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:08:45

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  RIP battle droids
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:10:37

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "Drop your weapons. I said, drop 'em"

  
  

  these battle droids are still hard to take seriously
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:14:12

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Anakin already has a Darth Vader hand
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:14:34

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Artoo has incinerated some other droids
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:16:13

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "Good. Twice the pride, double the fall."

  
  

  Christopher Lee is so good at delivering the crap lines he's given
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:20:03

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Anakin cut off Dooku's hands and took his lightsaber

  
  

  Palpatine told him to kill Dooku, which he obliged
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:20:41

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Jesus what is McDiarmid doing in this movie? His dialogue is so bland but his delivery of it sounds so natural

  
  

  And here's another Wilhelm scream!
• Odradek

  2016-12-22 02:24:09

  My dreams exceed my real life

  Ian McDiarmid left us far too soon

  
  

  As did Christopher Lee
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:24:36

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "Jedi scum!"

  
  

  General Grievous is so stupid
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:25:03

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  He is literally a villain from a mediocre "action cartoon"

  
  

  "Make them suffer!"
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:25:35

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  How the fuck does this have a 79% on Rotten Tomatoes
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:26:33

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  21 minutes in and the whole movie feels like an ILM demo reel
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:27:52

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  This movie gets into the "pulse-pounding action" right away but still: non-characters and cliché, bland dialogue abound
• Tatterhood

  2016-12-22 02:29:05

  Anonus said:

  This movie gets into the "pulse-pounding action" right away but still: non-characters and cliché, bland dialogue abound

  and now you get an hour which doesn't have any pulse pounding action either!!
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:31:07

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "General Grievous will run and hide as he always does. He'sacoward"

  
  

  hearing an A-list actor enunciate this shit really emphasizes the Saturday morning cartoon level of the dialogue
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:31:17

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  also is it me or is C-3PO really shiny here
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:32:23

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  and here is Anakin, reunited with his wife Padme, whose hair is now done up like Leia's

  
  

  "Something wonderful has happened. Annie, I'm pregnant."

  
  

  Anakin squeezed in some lovemaking between Episodes II and III it seems
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:35:25

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  oh god more of this lovey-dovey shit dialogue
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:35:46

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  shirtless anakin having nightmares about childbirth
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:38:23

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "Our baby is a blessing" says Anakin in the least convincing manner he can muster
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:40:49

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "Be careful of your friend Palpatine."

  
  

  "For what?"

  
  

  maybe the fucking cheesy ass name he's got?
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:41:19

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  yes I am aware I'm complaining about a cheesy name in a universe where there's characters with names like "Greedo"
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:42:42

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "How can you do this? It's outrageous. It's unfair," says Anakin in a not-very-forceful way
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:45:10

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  This movie is boring
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:45:32

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Each one of these movies has less humanity than the last one
• MetaFour

  2016-12-22 02:58:14

  For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.

  Anonus said:

  also is it me or is C-3PO really shiny here

  He is much shinier than before, or since. He's employed/owned by a Senator now, and she has more than enough money to make sure her personal droids are shined every day.
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:59:22

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  ooh
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 02:59:54

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  I'm going to pre-emptively say that of all of these, The Phantom Menace comes the closest to capturing the Star Wars spirit
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:01:14

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Maybe I feel that way mainly for aesthetic reasons, and also how it has the least to do with Anakin's turn to the Dark Side
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:02:33

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Here Palpatine is relating to Anakin the story of a Sith Lord who could create life from midi-chlorians and "save others from death...but not himself."
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:03:08

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Here's Chewbacca, and another Wookiee
• Imipolex G

  2016-12-22 03:04:19

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  spoiler: Obi-Wan has the high ground
• MetaFour

  2016-12-22 03:09:05

  For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.

  Imipolex G said:

  spoiler: Obi-Wan has the high ground

  Obi-wan trained for years to make sure he wouldn't repeat Darth Maul's fatal mistake.
• Imipolex G

  2016-12-22 03:09:56

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  it's Chekhov's gun, see
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:32:48

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Yoda calling into work from afar
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:33:13

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  okay the Wookiee commander's outfit is pretty cool-looking

  
  

  yes I did have this movie paused for half an hour
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:33:34

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Wookiees doing Tarzan cries
• MetaFour

  2016-12-22 03:35:46

  For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.

  Wookies have fortified emplacements, from which to shoot at the invading battle droids.

  
  

  They immediately leave them, to fight droids in the open.

  
  

  HOLLYWOOD TACTICS
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:36:05

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  haha
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:37:10

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "I want more, and I know I shouldn't"

  
  

  the direction is horrible
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:39:12

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  Here's a bronze Artoo
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:42:07

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  I have no interest in this movie right now...

  
  

  "Back off! I will deal with this Jedi slime, MYSELF!"

  
  

  oh god Grievous revealed himself as a "souped-up" Battle Droid this is a riot
• Aliroz

  2016-12-22 03:42:43 edited 2016-12-22 03:45:24

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  You're approaching these movies from the wrong angle, yo.

  
  

  All story and character and convincing acting.  As though these movies were about people, instead of being about the evolution in doorways and hallway lights over several years.  

  
  

  The true main character of the Star Wars movies is that awesome black and white corridor panel pattern thingy on the death star.
• Anonus

  2016-12-22 03:43:43

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  "You must realize...you are doomed!"

  
  

  "Oh, I don't think so."

  
  

  (Force throw occurs)

  
  

  this is literally something that would air on Cartoon Network at 8 AM Saturdays