Anonus Watches Star Wars: The Prequel Trilogy

A few years ago I liveblogged the Original Trilogy and now I'm doing it again with the prequels.

The opening crawl of The Phantom Menace feels like some sort of galactic history textbook...
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  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Makes John Williams's score sound funny over it
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Now here's a cheesy CGI spaceship.

    The CGI in these movies has always looked stupid to me. The original trilogy is hand-crafted and tactile. The CGI here makes these movies feel like inessential corporate Products.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    At least the set design still feels like the aesthetic. And here's C-3PO's silver cousin!

    Young Obi-wan feels like he's trying to channel the original trilogy but failing.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Jesus I can't believe I used "Palpatine" in my 2013 liveblog

    That name is a hunk of cheese

    I am a cornball myself but still
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Explosion, drawn lightsabers now, robots with guns

    These robots are so slender. They don't LOOK like soldiers
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    John Williams's score doesn't work here. And it's not even being used intelligently either. The main theme was Luke's leitmotif in the original trilogy!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    the nerds are right, these trade negotiations don't suit the Star Wars movies

    I can understand why Lucas would put thought into them but like, why did they have to be filmed? Or if they were they could have been better handled!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I thought the appeal of Star Wars didn't lie in all this bureaucracy stuff
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    And here's Jar Jar Binks!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    He got banished from his hometown

    Seems befitting of his reception
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    He's very fluidly animated but he's obviously not "real"

    And now he just yelled and dove into the water. These Jedi dudes have calmly followed him underwater
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    They're swimming into these luminescent balls, and they walk out of the water in a pretty cool-looking effect
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "Yoosa in big doo-doo this time!"

    oh my god
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    I love the look of the Gungan city
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    that was real dialogue we were supposed to take seriously oh god
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "The Naboo think they so smarty" oh god
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Odradek said:

    I love the look of the Gungan city

    It is pretty cool
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Anonus said:

    Now here's a cheesy CGI spaceship.


    The CGI in these movies has always looked stupid to me. The original trilogy is hand-crafted and tactile. The CGI here makes these movies feel like inessential corporate Products.
    I can remember being hella impressed with it at the time. But I was young and stupid enough that I thought the whole movie was good.

    IIRC, the CGI work in the prequels was real boundary-pushing stuff. For good or for bad, we can't deny it was innovative.
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Anonus said:

    that was real dialogue we were supposed to take seriously oh god

    Star Wars dialogue has always been tone-deaf
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    MetaFour said:

    Anonus said:

    Now here's a cheesy CGI spaceship.


    The CGI in these movies has always looked stupid to me. The original trilogy is hand-crafted and tactile. The CGI here makes these movies feel like inessential corporate Products.
    I can remember being hella impressed with it at the time. But I was young and stupid enough that I thought the whole movie was good.

    IIRC, the CGI work in the prequels was real boundary-pushing stuff. For good or for bad, we can't deny it was innovative.
    I understand that it pushed boundaries, I just am not a fan of it
    Odradek said:

    Anonus said:

    that was real dialogue we were supposed to take seriously oh god

    Star Wars dialogue has always been tone-deaf
    I don't remember the dialogue there being this juvenile
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    "Only a master of evil, Darth"
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "the planet core"
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "pew-nished"

    the Head Gungan be channeling Mel Blanc or Daws Butler here
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    okay this squid-ship is cool looking

    also there's this anglerfish-looking thing
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I really don't think the Lucas aesthetic translates well to CGI
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "There's always a bigger fish"

    okay yeah this is a pretty Star Wars-y line, clichéd as it is
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    The head gungan is voiced by Brian Blessed
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Odradek said:

    The head gungan is voiced by Brian Blessed

    oh yeah, TV Tropes loved him
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Odradek said:

    "Only a master of evil, Darth"

    The worst OT dialogue was like something from a cheesy serial. While the worst PT dialogue was like something from a kid's movie, I think. Hence why someone could overlook one but be morally offended by the other.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    god this eel-crocodile monster looks stupid
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    oh hey here's the prairie planet
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I guess we're back to the Senate now
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    "I cast Summon Bigger Fish!"
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    god this movie feels so self-serious to me somehow
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    these mentions of "Senator Palpatine" somehow fill me with dread for watching two more of these
  • Acid Mammoth!!!!
    Anonus said:

    I really don't think the Lucas aesthetic translates well to CGI

    almost nothing translates well to CGI
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    these skinny soldier robots still look stupid to me
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Here's R2-D2 and his cousins
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Two of these three droids have been blown up

    I actually fear for Artoo's safety

    Somehow a blue-and-white wastebasket that communicates only in beeping noises has more charisma and appeal than anyone else in this movie
  • Acid Mammoth!!!!
    R2 was my favorite character in the OT.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    seems to fit you

    mine is C-3PO
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Anonus said:

    Two of these three droids have been blown up


    I actually fear for Artoo's safety

    Somehow a blue-and-white wastebasket that communicates only in beeping noises has more charisma and appeal than anyone else in this movie
    I think, when I first watched this, I felt more sorry for those droids who got blown up than I did for any human characters who died at any point.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I feel like Artoo doesn't belong in this movie

    When the fuck does Anakin Skywalker show up? Aren't these movies supposedly about him?
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Oh there's Tatooine, at last
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    MetaFour said:

    Anonus said:

    Two of these three droids have been blown up


    I actually fear for Artoo's safety

    Somehow a blue-and-white wastebasket that communicates only in beeping noises has more charisma and appeal than anyone else in this movie
    I think, when I first watched this, I felt more sorry for those droids who got blown up than I did for any human characters who died at any point.
    oh god so did I
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    well I'm not that far in but still
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Anonus said:

    I feel like Artoo doesn't belong in this movie


    When the fuck does Anakin Skywalker show up? Aren't these movies supposedly about him?
    Eh, it took 20 or 30 minutes before Luke showed up in A New Hope.
  • edited 2016-12-20 02:54:35
    ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    Anonus said:

    Now here's a cheesy CGI spaceship.


    The CGI in these movies has always looked stupid to me. The original trilogy is hand-crafted and tactile. The CGI here makes these movies feel like inessential corporate Products.
    image

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  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    MetaFour said:

    Anonus said:

    I feel like Artoo doesn't belong in this movie


    When the fuck does Anakin Skywalker show up? Aren't these movies supposedly about him?
    Eh, it took 20 or 30 minutes before Luke showed up in A New Hope.
    yeah well wasn't that movie not a boring slog?

    also Jar Jar just stepped in a mushy pile

    Here's Jake Lloyd!
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Flying Gonzo?
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