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Anonus Watches Star Wars: The Prequel Trilogy

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  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "War! The Republic is crumbling under attacks by the ruthless Sith Lord, Count Dooku. There are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere."

    There we go!
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Hey this crawl looks like it prefaces a real adventure movie!
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    here's a rusty old retro-future ship
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    War!
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    The humans show up and everything gets worse
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Artoo as rendered in mid-2000s CGI is so charmless
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    RIP battle droids
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "Drop your weapons. I said, drop 'em"

    these battle droids are still hard to take seriously
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Anakin already has a Darth Vader hand
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Artoo has incinerated some other droids
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "Good. Twice the pride, double the fall."

    Christopher Lee is so good at delivering the crap lines he's given
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Anakin cut off Dooku's hands and took his lightsaber

    Palpatine told him to kill Dooku, which he obliged
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Jesus what is McDiarmid doing in this movie? His dialogue is so bland but his delivery of it sounds so natural

    And here's another Wilhelm scream!
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Ian McDiarmid left us far too soon

    As did Christopher Lee
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "Jedi scum!"

    General Grievous is so stupid
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    He is literally a villain from a mediocre "action cartoon"

    "Make them suffer!"
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    How the fuck does this have a 79% on Rotten Tomatoes
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    21 minutes in and the whole movie feels like an ILM demo reel
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    This movie gets into the "pulse-pounding action" right away but still: non-characters and cliché, bland dialogue abound
  • TatterhoodTatterhood
    Anonus said:

    This movie gets into the "pulse-pounding action" right away but still: non-characters and cliché, bland dialogue abound

    and now you get an hour which doesn't have any pulse pounding action either!!
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "General Grievous will run and hide as he always does. He'sacoward"

    hearing an A-list actor enunciate this shit really emphasizes the Saturday morning cartoon level of the dialogue
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    also is it me or is C-3PO really shiny here
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    and here is Anakin, reunited with his wife Padme, whose hair is now done up like Leia's

    "Something wonderful has happened. Annie, I'm pregnant."

    Anakin squeezed in some lovemaking between Episodes II and III it seems
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    oh god more of this lovey-dovey shit dialogue
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    shirtless anakin having nightmares about childbirth
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "Our baby is a blessing" says Anakin in the least convincing manner he can muster
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "Be careful of your friend Palpatine."

    "For what?"

    maybe the fucking cheesy ass name he's got?
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    yes I am aware I'm complaining about a cheesy name in a universe where there's characters with names like "Greedo"
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "How can you do this? It's outrageous. It's unfair," says Anakin in a not-very-forceful way
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    This movie is boring
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Each one of these movies has less humanity than the last one
  • MetaFourMetaFour
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Anonus said:

    also is it me or is C-3PO really shiny here

    He is much shinier than before, or since. He's employed/owned by a Senator now, and she has more than enough money to make sure her personal droids are shined every day.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ooh
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I'm going to pre-emptively say that of all of these, The Phantom Menace comes the closest to capturing the Star Wars spirit
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Maybe I feel that way mainly for aesthetic reasons, and also how it has the least to do with Anakin's turn to the Dark Side
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Here Palpatine is relating to Anakin the story of a Sith Lord who could create life from midi-chlorians and "save others from death...but not himself."
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Here's Chewbacca, and another Wookiee
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    spoiler: Obi-Wan has the high ground
  • MetaFourMetaFour
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Imipolex G said:

    spoiler: Obi-Wan has the high ground

    Obi-wan trained for years to make sure he wouldn't repeat Darth Maul's fatal mistake.
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    it's Chekhov's gun, see
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Yoda calling into work from afar
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    okay the Wookiee commander's outfit is pretty cool-looking

    yes I did have this movie paused for half an hour
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Wookiees doing Tarzan cries
  • MetaFourMetaFour
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Wookies have fortified emplacements, from which to shoot at the invading battle droids.

    They immediately leave them, to fight droids in the open.

    HOLLYWOOD TACTICS
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    haha
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "I want more, and I know I shouldn't"

    the direction is horrible
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Here's a bronze Artoo
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I have no interest in this movie right now...

    "Back off! I will deal with this Jedi slime, MYSELF!"

    oh god Grievous revealed himself as a "souped-up" Battle Droid this is a riot
  • AlirozAliroz
    edited 2016-12-22 03:45:24
    ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    You're approaching these movies from the wrong angle, yo.

    All story and character and convincing acting.  As though these movies were about people, instead of being about the evolution in doorways and hallway lights over several years.  

    The true main character of the Star Wars movies is that awesome black and white corridor panel pattern thingy on the death star.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "You must realize...you are doomed!"

    "Oh, I don't think so."

    (Force throw occurs)

    this is literally something that would air on Cartoon Network at 8 AM Saturdays
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