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Anonus Watches Star Wars: The Prequel Trilogy

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  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    this movie is so boring
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    what's with Yoda's floaty-chair
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    God, Jar Jar is actually one of the better parts of this movie
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    my mother says Anakin sounds like a four-year-old in this scene

    "It's not fair!"
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Jesus, Anakin comes off like some kind of creepy predator here
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "May the Force be with you" sounds really stupid in these movies
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Dex's Diner feels like it's supposed to be whimsical and fun but it's not
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "They're cloners. Damn good ones, too"

    a bid to secure the PG rating
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "How big your...pocketbook is. Hahahaha!"

    this seems like it should be a joke but it's not
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    this love story is so poorly conveyed
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    oh god more space politics
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    The moral of the movie is that if you vote for GWB a second time, you are literally Jar-Jar Binks
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    these long-necked aliens are vaguely unsettling
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    oh god another "romance" scene
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Anakin is contrasting Padme with sand

    oh my god
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    they're kissing now

    Padme says she shouldn't have done that

    God this is terrible
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    The clones look like they're all brown

    Hmm
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    They're supposed to be obedient, servile, and lacking in free will

    Hmm
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Anonus said:

    The clones look like they're all brown


    Hmm
    They're Samoan
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    still, unfortunate implications to me

    also these Striking Vistas of the waterfalls and the field do jack shit for me
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Now Anakin was riding some kind of giant rodent thing and it knocked him off

    He's laughing...

    This scene is disturbing
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Like he's rolling around with Padme and they're both laughing and there's this swollen John Williams score backing it and it all feels incredibly forced
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I have no interest in this movie anymore and am just letting it play in the background

    Here's Anakin using the Force on a pear though
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "The thought of not being with you...I can't breathe."

    "My heart is beating, hoping that that kiss will not become a scar"

    oh jesus this is some of the worst dialogue i have ever encountered
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    okay fine wanting to wish away your feelings, the me of fall 2011 wanted that before he gave in >_>
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    oh god here's shirtless Anakin having a dream and going "no, no"
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    lucas was really angling for the teenyboppers wasn't he
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    he's going to go save his mother
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    god the CGIed Jango Fett and his jetpack looks stupid
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I HATE SAND
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    God, there's almost an hour and a half left in this movie
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Anakin's back on Tatooine talking to Flying Gonzo now

    Also their consistent referrals to Anakin as "Annie" are so fucking weird to me
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    these movies do not feel fond of narrative clarity
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    they're blowing up Saturn's rings
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    it looks like space colonoscopies are happening
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I think Anakin's mother has been gone a month?
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    why are Anakin and Padme talking in shadow?

    Why did she run up to him and kiss him?

    Nothing about their "love" is believable
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    you can just leave this on in the background and half-watch it and feel like you aren't missing much, if anything
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    His mom's alive
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Anonus said:

    you can just leave this on in the background and half-watch it and feel like you aren't missing much, if anything

    yeah, this movie in particular feels like the model for Hollywood's beloved Content it can't stop spewing out

    branded, boring, soulless, noise
  • AlirozAliroz
    edited 2016-12-21 04:56:56
    ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    Attack of the clones is, genuinely, the least interesting of the prequels.

    Phantom Menace took a ton of risks.  Risks that didn't pay off, yes, but it took risks.  It went places.  It tried.

    Attack of the Clones at least had really nice backgrounds and costumes.

    image
    Look at the patterns and detail on the goldish part of the robe, it's a lot of detail for something nobody really got to see (This character basically only appears in one shot)

    Also, I have a special place in my heart for Attack of the Clones because it was the first Star Wars movie I got to see in theaters.  Also, it proved to all the other little kids that there WERE female Jedi, and thus that girls COULD use lightsabers and the force.  

    Aaaaaaaaaaand that's all I really got, in terms of defending this movie.  As for the actual experience of watching it?  It's garbage.  
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Hey, a Lucasfilm logo hat!
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    C-3PO has his skin now
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "I will be the most powerful Jedi ever! I promise you! I will even learn to stop people from dying!"

    "It's all Obi-wan's fault! He's jealous! He's holding me back!"

    Now I see where the inspiration for Kylo Ren came from
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "I killed them. I killed them all. I killed every single one of them!"

    who'd he kill again?
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    here's the Imperial March
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    "To be angry is to be human."

    "I'm a Jedi. I know I'm better than this."

    oh my god

    there's the seeds of something poignant here but they fail to sprout
  • MetaFourMetaFour
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Anonus said:

    "I killed them. I killed them all. I killed every single one of them!"


    who'd he kill again?
    That entire camp of Sandpeople. Even their children.
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    jesus the acting/direction here is just killing the intended effect
  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    MetaFour said:

    Anonus said:

    "I killed them. I killed them all. I killed every single one of them!"


    who'd he kill again?
    That entire camp of Sandpeople. Even their children.
    oh

    here's another shiny retro-future spaceship
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