You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Thought: If Home Alone were made even ten years later than it was, it would have to be a period piece, because the widespread availability of mobile phones would topple the house of cards that is the movie's plot contrivances.
* everyone at Cracked dot com has their loved ones held hostage by whoever the fuck owns the IP, and if they dont write articles about the film on a regular basis they start getting tongues and fingers in the mail
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
I feel kinda...sad.
Not enough to warrant posting in the problems thread, but like...distance is starting to get to me.
I feel lonely and I don't have my Anonus to comfort me and be my companion at night...
1. it spawned two SNES games 2. the first SNES game has a squirt gun that can disable some enemies for a short time. other weapons are more powerful but have limited ammo. 3. enemies may dash off the screen and swipe treasure if they see it within range. 4. some enemies are smart enough not to step on tacks. 5. treasure is themed on the level. in the first level it's traditional precious-metal stuff like candelabra. in later levels it becomes electronics or even animals. 6. collect treasure and deposit in the safe drop on the first floor. 7. some objects can be used to shake the ground and shake loose treasure that's too high to reach. 8. after all available treasure has been collected, the door to the basement opens. 9. in the basement, you can't use your weapons. but you have to get past a passage of various obstacles played by creepy crawlies. 10. the boss at the end of the basement is a giant creepy crawlie of some sort (e.g. giant spider), which you have to defeat by touching a block in the center of the screen to drop it on the enemy. the more you hit it, the faster it gets. 11. i may or may not have actually seen the movie. actually i think i may have seen part of it.
Home Alone is one of those cultural touchstones that really does not deserve to be one.
what else is one?
Forrest Gump
I admit, I'm not sure what's wrong with it. I like the title character, but I've only seen the movie, and remember finding the film killing off his mother AND his wife to be, well, overkill
for some reason I mentally confuse Forrest Gump and Good Will Hunting.
I also confuse the names Good Will Hunting and Happy Gilmore. Like, when I want to name Happy Gilmore, I'll think of the name "Good Will Hunting". I've actually seen all Happy Gilmore and probably also Good Will Hunting though, and I know they're different movies.
Home Alone is one of those cultural touchstones that really does not deserve to be one.
what else is one?
Forrest Gump
I admit, I'm not sure what's wrong with it. I like the title character, but I've only seen the movie, and remember finding the film killing off his mother AND his wife to be, well, overkill
Hey, let's have last 50 years or so of American History, including some parts that are actually attributed to Black America, be centered around a dumb white guy
hello my name is jimmy pop and i'm a dumb white guy
also, jenny's entire character arc in Forrest Gump is pretty much "how can we kick the dog this time" every time she comes back into focus. :P she really deserved better and didn't get it.
Home Alone is one of those cultural touchstones that really does not deserve to be one.
what else is one?
Forrest Gump
I admit, I'm not sure what's wrong with it. I like the title character, but I've only seen the movie, and remember finding the film killing off his mother AND his wife to be, well, overkill
Hey, let's have last 50 years or so of American History, including some parts that are actually attributed to Black America, be centered around a dumb white guy
Forrest Gump being a white guy is actually the least problematic option
suffice to say, it was a thinkpiece about whether or not a piece of popular media is fascist, constructed mainly out of drawing some selective parallels between that media and well yeah you get the idea
this of course describes most thinkpieces
is "the man in the high castle" fascist? we discuss the differences between the book and the series in how they treat the japanese pacific states and canon city
Home Alone is one of those cultural touchstones that really does not deserve to be one.
wait I've got another one
SPACE JAM, at least not in a way more than "lol look at this cheese"
space jam features a scene where bugs bunny and daffy duck complain about not seeing any money from their faces being on lunchboxes and shit while searching for the pants michael jordan wore at unc and that alone makes it Art
imagine the "dumb black guy bumbles his way through historical events" movie
or the "dumb woman bumbles her way through historical events" movie
All media has to be problematic in some capacity
That said, I think either of those ideas could have been very interesting provided that a lot of effort was put into ensuring that they were sensitive.
Comments
Problem solved.
1. it spawned two SNES games
2. the first SNES game has a squirt gun that can disable some enemies for a short time. other weapons are more powerful but have limited ammo.
3. enemies may dash off the screen and swipe treasure if they see it within range.
4. some enemies are smart enough not to step on tacks.
5. treasure is themed on the level. in the first level it's traditional precious-metal stuff like candelabra. in later levels it becomes electronics or even animals.
6. collect treasure and deposit in the safe drop on the first floor.
7. some objects can be used to shake the ground and shake loose treasure that's too high to reach.
8. after all available treasure has been collected, the door to the basement opens.
9. in the basement, you can't use your weapons. but you have to get past a passage of various obstacles played by creepy crawlies.
10. the boss at the end of the basement is a giant creepy crawlie of some sort (e.g. giant spider), which you have to defeat by touching a block in the center of the screen to drop it on the enemy. the more you hit it, the faster it gets.
11. i may or may not have actually seen the movie. actually i think i may have seen part of it.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
this has been a review
It works, as a game.
It's kinda frustrating to deal with though, at times.
I also confuse the names Good Will Hunting and Happy Gilmore. Like, when I want to name Happy Gilmore, I'll think of the name "Good Will Hunting". I've actually seen all Happy Gilmore and probably also Good Will Hunting though, and I know they're different movies.
I don't think I've ever seen Forrest Gump.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
or the "dumb woman bumbles her way through historical events" movie
My aesthetic.
The first thing that came to mind as far as cultural touchstones that shouldn't be: Call of Duty
That said, I think either of those ideas could have been very interesting provided that a lot of effort was put into ensuring that they were sensitive.