You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Chef is apparently moving to rural England and Waiterman will miss him but Chef is sad because he'll miss Waiterman too so he decided to take the restaruant with him by putting it on a trailer on Waiterman's pickup truck and then driving it across the Atlantic Ocean to the UK.
chef,! chef! where are you
i'm right here waiterman
did you bring oyr pickup truck
i don't own a picktup truck chef
but i borrowed one from my cousin brick
Brick's a real nic boy
how's he doing lately?
well, he's hoping for a plea bargain, I think
good for him!
anyway, let's get starteed here
did you bring a reastaurnt-sized trailer?
this is the biggest trailer they had at Rent-A-Trailer-Yes, chef
and Rent-A-Trailer-Maybe went out of business ten yeras ago
it's havve to do
now let's just pick up the restarutn and put it on the trailer
how do we do that, chef
simple
you take that corenr, i'll take this corner
and we'll just lift stlowly
this reastuarnt will be in Glourstershire before we nkow it!
ok chef i've taken this corner and youv'e taken that corner
that's not waht i said to do
oh fine
i've taken that corner and youv'e taken this corner
indeed
now let's lfit
ok i'm lifting
it's not working chef
the reastaruant is still stationary
this doesn't make any sense, waiterman
are you telling me that two grown men can't lfit a simple concrete building?
look with your eyes chef
dost it look like we're making any progerss to you?
fine, i have a secret up my sleeve
wait here waiterman
ok chef
alright iv'e gone to my hatchback and gotten out this
it's the jack you use to change tires
what's the plan, chef
we're going to jack up the restaurant and THEN put it on the trailer
nothing could possibly go wrong here!
alright chef, it's worth a shot
ok i'm taking the jack
and i'm putting it under the restaruant
how
don't question it, just listen
now i'm jacking up the jack
waiterman, i'm so excited
this is going to work
FREEZE! POLICE!
ah, watierman!
it's the po-po
get in the truck, chef!
we're out of here!
ok i'm in the turck
i sure hope you passed yorur Evanding Law Enformcent classes in middle school
Profit is usually a good thing, as long as enough of that profit goes back into making quality stuff for the consumers.
For-profit prisons are terrible, though I don't think that I need to remind you all of that.
It is less the idea of profit itself than the notion that profit is the priority. To my mind, a company's priority should be how it can best serve its customers, not how it can best extract money from them.
"Destroyer, stop destroying!" Immediately, the warship's guns lock up. The ship's captain is told to come to the bow. Out in front, on a small rock jutting out of the bay, is a young girl with her hand outstretched. The port will survive the day.
Profit is usually a good thing, as long as enough of that profit goes back into making quality stuff for the consumers.
For-profit prisons are terrible, though I don't think that I need to remind you all of that.
It is less the idea of profit itself than the notion that profit is the priority. To my mind, a company's priority should be how it can best serve its customers, not how it can best extract money from them.
And yes, private prisons are a monstrous concept.
The ironic thing is, if a company focuses on best serving its customers, it will often get plenty of profit without even trying.
Kidnap her precious childhood stuffed animal, take a picture of it with a time stamp, put it on tumblr and threaten to start unraveling stitches if she doesn't reveal herself.
Profit is usually a good thing, as long as enough of that profit goes back into making quality stuff for the consumers.
For-profit prisons are terrible, though I don't think that I need to remind you all of that.
It is less the idea of profit itself than the notion that profit is the priority. To my mind, a company's priority should be how it can best serve its customers, not how it can best extract money from them.
And yes, private prisons are a monstrous concept.
The ironic thing is, if a company focuses on best serving its customers, it will often get plenty of profit without even trying.
"Do you know what long hair makes men look like?" "Like girls, Ma. Is that right?" "It makes them look worse than girls, Dora. It makes them look like they're not really men, if you know what I mean." "No, I don't know what you mean, Ma." Dora was profoundly bored. "Well, I mean a little bit on the lavender side." She tittered. "Oh," she said, "you mean cocksuckers. Some of my best friends are cocksuckers, Ma."
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
UNICORN PATROL
NARRATOR: It's just past midnight in Cuyahoga County, Ohio. But while most of the city sleeps, there's never a dull moment for the mares and stallions of the Cleveland Police Unicorn Squad. Right now, Officer Snowshine and Sergeant Strawberry Dreams are responding to a call.
(Two unicorns, one white and one pink, gallop down a dark city street side-by-side. Each is wearing a vest with a badge, saddlebags bearing the word "POLICE" and, most noticeably, helmets with rotating blue emergency lights on top.
STRAWBERRY: We're on our way out to Lakewood. We just got a call of two males trying to pick up a local restaurant by hand and place it on a trailer.
SNOWSHINE: Gives new meaning to word "shoplifting", doesn't it?
(The two unicorns turn off their lights as they approach the restaurant, so as not to be spotted by the suspects. The camera pans toward the building itself, where a man dressed in all black except for his white chef's hat repeatedly rams a car jack into the side of the building. Another man, dressed all in black, stands nearby.)
SNOWSHINE: What's he doing?
STRAWBERRY: I think he's trying to jack up the restaurant.
SNOWSHINE: Is that even possible?
STRAWBERRY: Nevermind that, let's move in.
(The two police unicorns go running off toward the restaurant.)
STRAWBERRY: FREEZE! POLICE!
NARRATOR: But the suspects have other ideas.
(Chef and Waiterman hop in the truck and go driving off. The unicorns go galloping off after them, blue lights shining, but Waiterman punches the gas and goes speeding off.
NARRATOR: The cops now have a high-speed pursuit on their hooves. But their horsepower is no match for the truck's. It's time to call in a helping hand.
(Cut to a human police officer in his patrol vehicle—a pickup truck specially modified to accomodate two horses and allow them to see over the cab.)
OFFICER: I've been working with the Unicorn Squad for a couple years now. I've got an 8-year-old daughter, so she thinks it's pretty cool, 'cause she gets to hang out with real live police unicorns. She keeps telling me they should arrest her teacher, though. I'm not sure what that's about.
(The officer pulls the patrol truck out in the street in front of the restaurant, stops quickly to let the two unicorns climb in, then goes speeding off after Chef and Waiterman, sirens blaring.)
SNOWSHINE: I'm a horse, you know? So I do a lot of traveling in trailers, but...this is different. Every time I have to climb into this truck for a pursuit...you never really stop being a little bit scared.
(Waiterman, increasingly desperate, guns the accelerator and makes a hard left into a residential street.)
NARRATOR: It's time to call in a little help from above.
STRAWBERRY: (to radio) Cloudkicker! We need you! Corner of Detroit and Manor Park!
NARRATOR: Corporal Cloudkicker has a special advantage even other police unicorns envy: She can fly.
(A blue winged unicorn, clad in the same police gear as her colleagues, takes to the sky from the roof of the police station.
CLOUDKICKER: People used to make fun of when I was a filly because, well, how many unicorns do you see who have wings? It was frustrating, 'cause it's like, it's not my fault my mother was a unicorn and my father was a hawk, you know?
CAMERAMAN: ...How do a bird and a mammal even reproduce?
CLOUDKICKER: Mythical mammal, big difference biologically. Also, you're not supposed to talk.
NARRATOR: Within minutes, Cloudkicker has sight of the fleeing suspects.
(Cloudkicker activates a spotlight on her helmet, which she shines down on the street below, where Waiterman and Chef are being pursued by the unicorns and the human officer.)
STRAWBERRY: (over radio) Cloudkicker! Put out a stinger!
CLOUDKICKER: (to radio) You got it!
(Cloudkicker swoops down in front of Waiterman's borrowed truck. As she passes over the street, she uses her mouth to pull a cord on her saddlebag, deploying a spike strip onto the pavement.
NARRATOR: It looks like the end of the road for our would-be restaruant thieves.
(Waiterman, having no time to react, drives straight over the spike strips, puncturing the truck's tires. The truck comes to a stop and both occupants jump out. Waiterman stands at the side of his cousin's truck with his hands in the air, while Chef runs off, still clutching his jack. Snowshine hops out of the police truck and runs after Chef, knocking him to the ground, where he's handcuffed by the human officer.)
SNOWSHINE: You two are under arrest for attempted theft of a casual dining restaurant. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you—
NARRATOR: But the suspect isn't having it.
CHEF: AAAAAAH THIS SI BULLSHIT I ONLY WANTED TO HAVE THER ESTARUANT SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE ALL MY FRIENDS MBEHIND WHEN I MOVE OT ENGLAIND-LIKE PLACES.
WAITERMAN: cherf, be quiet! all your blabing is going to do is give them more stuff to use against us!
SNOWSHINE: Oh, screw it. Can someone call for a prisoner transport please?
CLOUDKICKER: I'm on it!
NARRATOR: Another pair of hardened restaraunt thieves off the streets...thanks to the mares and stallions of the Cleveland PD Unicorn Patrol!
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Yes, he is! I remembered that Unicorn Patrol, Five Singers, and Charlotte's exploits are all set in the Cleveland area, so I thought it would be funny to bring them all together.
I always kinda imagined the UP unicorns existing in a separate "universe", so to speak, from MLP ponies (they live in a world with humans, after all), but if you like to think of them as MLP unicorns, that's fine too.
So, Benedict C.'s mystery role in Star Trek 2 turned out to be Ricardo Montalaban and his surprisingly non-plastic chest (also known as Khan).
I'm not sure what's more off-putting: the fact that they're bringing in Khan this early in the remake game or the fact that they decided to recast an Indian character, originally played by a Hispanic actor, with a white person.
The first implies that they're going to rely on the popularity/nostalgia of Khan in Star Trek II to financially float this movie. Unless Cumberbatch pulls a Heath Ledger and completely reinvents Khan, this movie's just going to come off as another geeky fandom movie, like Iron Man 2.
The second, well, it's a particularly bad choice for a whitewash. Khan's supposed to be the Uberman, a guy who stands out above all men in physical, mental and genetic superiority. The fact that this Uberman was Indian was rather revolutionary, and recasting him with a white person seems a bit reactionary.
So yeah, teal deer, I wish they had casted BC as Gary Mitchell instead.
Or, who knows, maybe BC will not actually be Khan, the tabloids are wrong and the movie will be a critical hit and I'll just be some whining guy on the internet who's afraid of change.
That's not fricking tax deductible and you know it!
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
EltonCars (hammondy8jis7qe@hotmail.com) May 08 2013 10:42:07 PM {I want to {see new threads|follow the discussion|be part here|see new additions|access all parts|contibute|say something|reply to a thread|reply to a user|message a user|contact a user|read everything}.
Comments
"Dora: Uh oh, we need to jack this car in 60 seconds, can you point out what kind of locking mechanism this vehicle has?"
"Dora: Do you know who could sign this declaration of independence paper?"
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
For-profit prisons are terrible, though I don't think that I need to remind you all of that.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
I should write character analyses of them!
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
"Today, we're going to explore the Shroud Heath Barrow. Can you show us where Shroud Heath Barrow is on the map? ... ... ... .... ... Good!"
"Oh, no it's a Draugr! Say it with me! FUS RO DAH! FUS RO DAH!"
"Great work! Now, help Cicero kill this Ice Atronach while I pick the locks on these chests!"
"Like girls, Ma. Is that right?"
"It makes them look worse than girls, Dora. It makes them look like they're not really men, if you know what I mean."
"No, I don't know what you mean, Ma." Dora was profoundly bored.
"Well, I mean a little bit on the lavender side." She tittered.
"Oh," she said, "you mean cocksuckers. Some of my best friends are cocksuckers, Ma."
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Dora's the leader of a guild of assassins.
UNICORN PATROL
NARRATOR: It's just past midnight in Cuyahoga County, Ohio. But while most of the city sleeps, there's never a dull moment for the mares and stallions of the Cleveland Police Unicorn Squad. Right now, Officer Snowshine and Sergeant Strawberry Dreams are responding to a call.
(Two unicorns, one white and one pink, gallop down a dark city street side-by-side. Each is wearing a vest with a badge, saddlebags bearing the word "POLICE" and, most noticeably, helmets with rotating blue emergency lights on top.
STRAWBERRY: We're on our way out to Lakewood. We just got a call of two males trying to pick up a local restaurant by hand and place it on a trailer.
SNOWSHINE: Gives new meaning to word "shoplifting", doesn't it?
(The two unicorns turn off their lights as they approach the restaurant, so as not to be spotted by the suspects. The camera pans toward the building itself, where a man dressed in all black except for his white chef's hat repeatedly rams a car jack into the side of the building. Another man, dressed all in black, stands nearby.)
SNOWSHINE: What's he doing?
STRAWBERRY: I think he's trying to jack up the restaurant.
SNOWSHINE: Is that even possible?
STRAWBERRY: Nevermind that, let's move in.
(The two police unicorns go running off toward the restaurant.)
STRAWBERRY: FREEZE! POLICE!
NARRATOR: But the suspects have other ideas.
(Chef and Waiterman hop in the truck and go driving off. The unicorns go galloping off after them, blue lights shining, but Waiterman punches the gas and goes speeding off.
NARRATOR: The cops now have a high-speed pursuit on their hooves. But their horsepower is no match for the truck's. It's time to call in a helping hand.
(Cut to a human police officer in his patrol vehicle—a pickup truck specially modified to accomodate two horses and allow them to see over the cab.)
OFFICER: I've been working with the Unicorn Squad for a couple years now. I've got an 8-year-old daughter, so she thinks it's pretty cool, 'cause she gets to hang out with real live police unicorns. She keeps telling me they should arrest her teacher, though. I'm not sure what that's about.
(The officer pulls the patrol truck out in the street in front of the restaurant, stops quickly to let the two unicorns climb in, then goes speeding off after Chef and Waiterman, sirens blaring.)
SNOWSHINE: I'm a horse, you know? So I do a lot of traveling in trailers, but...this is different. Every time I have to climb into this truck for a pursuit...you never really stop being a little bit scared.
(Waiterman, increasingly desperate, guns the accelerator and makes a hard left into a residential street.)
NARRATOR: It's time to call in a little help from above.
STRAWBERRY: (to radio) Cloudkicker! We need you! Corner of Detroit and Manor Park!
NARRATOR: Corporal Cloudkicker has a special advantage even other police unicorns envy: She can fly.
(A blue winged unicorn, clad in the same police gear as her colleagues, takes to the sky from the roof of the police station.
CLOUDKICKER: People used to make fun of when I was a filly because, well, how many unicorns do you see who have wings? It was frustrating, 'cause it's like, it's not my fault my mother was a unicorn and my father was a hawk, you know?
CAMERAMAN: ...How do a bird and a mammal even reproduce?
CLOUDKICKER: Mythical mammal, big difference biologically. Also, you're not supposed to talk.
NARRATOR: Within minutes, Cloudkicker has sight of the fleeing suspects.
(Cloudkicker activates a spotlight on her helmet, which she shines down on the street below, where Waiterman and Chef are being pursued by the unicorns and the human officer.)
STRAWBERRY: (over radio) Cloudkicker! Put out a stinger!
CLOUDKICKER: (to radio) You got it!
(Cloudkicker swoops down in front of Waiterman's borrowed truck. As she passes over the street, she uses her mouth to pull a cord on her saddlebag, deploying a spike strip onto the pavement.
NARRATOR: It looks like the end of the road for our would-be restaruant thieves.
(Waiterman, having no time to react, drives straight over the spike strips, puncturing the truck's tires. The truck comes to a stop and both occupants jump out. Waiterman stands at the side of his cousin's truck with his hands in the air, while Chef runs off, still clutching his jack. Snowshine hops out of the police truck and runs after Chef, knocking him to the ground, where he's handcuffed by the human officer.)
SNOWSHINE: You two are under arrest for attempted theft of a casual dining restaurant. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say may be used against you—
NARRATOR: But the suspect isn't having it.
CHEF: AAAAAAH THIS SI BULLSHIT I ONLY WANTED TO HAVE THER ESTARUANT SO I DIDN'T HAVE TO LEAVE ALL MY FRIENDS MBEHIND WHEN I MOVE OT ENGLAIND-LIKE PLACES.
WAITERMAN: cherf, be quiet! all your blabing is going to do is give them more stuff to use against us!
SNOWSHINE: Oh, screw it. Can someone call for a prisoner transport please?
CLOUDKICKER: I'm on it!
NARRATOR: Another pair of hardened restaraunt thieves off the streets...thanks to the mares and stallions of the Cleveland PD Unicorn Patrol!
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
I'm not sure what's more off-putting: the fact that they're bringing in Khan this early in the remake game or the fact that they decided to recast an Indian character, originally played by a Hispanic actor, with a white person.
The first implies that they're going to rely on the popularity/nostalgia of Khan in Star Trek II to financially float this movie. Unless Cumberbatch pulls a Heath Ledger and completely reinvents Khan, this movie's just going to come off as another geeky fandom movie, like Iron Man 2.
The second, well, it's a particularly bad choice for a whitewash. Khan's supposed to be the Uberman, a guy who stands out above all men in physical, mental and genetic superiority. The fact that this Uberman was Indian was rather revolutionary, and recasting him with a white person seems a bit reactionary.
So yeah, teal deer, I wish they had casted BC as Gary Mitchell instead.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
That's not fricking tax deductible and you know it!
KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN?????
I did not think that it was possible to slouch in swivel chairs that are designed to stop slouching.
Today I found out that it is possible.
How the fuck-a-doodle-do can people sit in chairs where you are forced to sit upright?!
It feels like my spine is being bent in half. Forwards.
{I want to {see new threads|follow the discussion|be part here|see new additions|access all parts|contibute|say something|reply to a thread|reply to a user|message a user|contact a user|read everything}.