Anonus Watches Star Wars: The Original Trilogy

Anonus · 2013-09-16 01:40:59

As one of three people who has not seen it in its entirety, I've decided to change this.

I'd already watched the first one a few years ago, but I wasn't fully attentive towards it, so here I go again. I've also seen bits and pieces of the other two, but now I'm watching them all the way through.

These aren't any of the Special Editions, they're old VHSes. The VHS of Star Wars is copyrighted 1992, and the VHSes of The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi are copyrighted 1995.

So, I'm going to start Star Wars soon!

(To Odradek: I will get to liveblogging Marville's first issue soon)

Imipolex G · 2013-09-16 01:41:40

Who are the other two people?

Anonus · 2013-09-16 01:44:38

Section and somebody else

Princess Alice · 2013-09-16 01:52:22

Yay, Star Wars!

Let me know what you think

Justice4243 · 2013-09-16 02:13:04

Anonus · 2013-09-16 02:48:13

Cue the 20th Century Fox and Lucasfilm Limited logos with the CinemaScope fanfare! And here now is the opening crawl...even back then, the movie was called "EPISODE IV: A NEW HOPE"

Lucas must have had these prequels planned out for a while...

Anonus · 2013-09-16 02:50:13

C3PO says "this is madness"

Thirty years before 300

Anonus · 2013-09-16 02:51:23

Stormtroopers are attacking the good guys

You know, the dated-ness of these movies probably adds to their charm

They give it a human element

Anonus · 2013-09-16 02:51:55

And here now is Darth Vader, just passing by

Leia is talking to R2-D2

Anonus · 2013-09-16 02:53:38

They've got Leia! there's so much action...I can't comment on it all

I do like C3PO, though. He just seems so open about what he says...

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:02:12

So now Leia is conscious again

Darth Vader wants the Death Star plans, and considers Leia a traitor...but the plans aren't on this ship, they're probably in the escape pod!

C3PO and R2-D2 were in the escape pod, and they aren't "lifeforms"...now they're on Tatooine

"We seem to be made to suffer, it's our lot in life"...C3PO is funny

They are now going their separate ways...

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:05:16

C3PO now finds R2-D2 a traitor, and now he sees a transporter...he is calling out to it

Now we've wiped to R2-D2

Hooded figured with glowing red eyes are watching him

And one shot him

He's been deactivated and they're gonna take him away

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:07:21

He's been sucked into a tube

Looks like he's in robot jail

And R.O.B.'s ancestor and a walking trash can are here

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:08:21

Yay

C3PO is in robot jail and he's so happy to see R2

Meanwhile back on Tatooine there are Stormtroopers

They know about the droids

The hooded figures have come back for them, and now they're being led outside...

Now here's Luke Skywalker

He's taking Theepio and Artoo to his uncle's garage

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:13:21

Threepio's so fussy

He's worried about dust contamination

I admit, the notion of droids being property kind of bothers me

They seem to be sapient

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:14:13

Hahaha

Luke thinks his sister is hot

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:23:02

Leia says "Help me Obi-Wan Kenobi, you're my only hope"

Obi-Wan Kenobi is now Ben Kenobi

Why is "Kenobi" still his last name?

Luke tried to get Artoo to play the whole message

But Artoo will not

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:25:53

Luke wants to go to the Academy

He feels like he's trapped being a farmhand

"Luke's just not a farmer...he has too much of his father in him" "That's what I'm afraid of"

FORESHADOWING

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:30:37

Luke finds R2-D2 a nuisance...

It is now morning and he must have escaped, they're looking for him now

Some aliens have spotted Luke and C3PO in some cruiser thing

C3PO doesn't like that R2-D2 is trying to find Obi-Wan

Now Luke's been subordinated by the aliens

They're looking at his ride...but now a noise has scared them off

Turns out it's Ben Kenobi

Princess Alice · 2013-09-16 03:32:59

Anonus said:
Hahaha

Luke thinks his sister is hot

Shhh, you're not supposed to know that yet. :P

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:33:02

Ben admits he's Obi-Wan

Doesn't remember being R2-D2's owner

And now C3PO needs his arm reattached

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:33:32

Central Avenue said: Anonus said:Hahaha
Luke thinks his sister is hot

Shhh, you're not supposed to know that yet. :P

The culture has spoiled Star Wars for me

I'm giving this away in several of my posts

Princess Alice · 2013-09-16 03:34:24

It's ok, pop culture spoiled the hell out of Star Wars for me, too

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:40:42

Obi-Wan and Luke's father were both Jedi

They fought in the Clone Wars

Obi-Wan has given Luke his father's lightsaber..."an elegant weapon for a more civilized age"

Obi-Wan says that Darth Vader killed Luke's father, and he explains the Force to Luke

Now Leia's whole message is being presented to Obi-Wan...he and Luke will go to Alderaan, and Luke must learn the ways of the Force

Luke doesn't want to be a hero right now

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:41:24

Now the captured rebel ship is being taken to the Death Star

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-09-16 03:42:37

I saw it before pop culture spoiled it for me. :3

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:43:28

Vader's Force choking someone who doesn't like his devotion to the Force

"I find your lack of faith disturbing"

This choke is not fatal, however

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:45:01

Bad guys are at Luke's house

They've killed his aunt and uncle

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:48:11

Now Vader is interrogating Leia

She's apparently going to be injected with something...this was a short interlude

Luke is motivated by the death of his guardians to got to Alderaan with Obi-Wan and become a Jedi

This spaceport is the most wretched hive of scum and villainy

I admit, there's something depressing about how much these lines have circulated throughout pop culture

This one in particular seems very ruined

Anyway, Obi-Wan is using the Jedi mind trick to get Luke past the Stormtroopers

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:49:10

Ah yes, the cantina scene with the jizz music

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:51:23

They don't serve droids at this cantina

Lots of aliens here

Some guy wants to kill Luke

And Obi-Wan's killed this guy

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2013-09-16 03:52:02

omg like every line in this movie is a pop culture meme I forgot

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:56:11

Han Solo and Chewbacca are introduced

I was mistaken, NOW they're about to go to Alderaan

On Han Solo's ship, the Millennium Falcon

But he wants 10,000

Obi-Wan offers 2,000 now and 15,000 when they reach Alderaan

Han Solo accepts this offer...though their conversation is overheard and Stormtroopers have come

This was a close call...for Luke and Obi-Wan and Chewie

Greedo's trying to capture/kill Han Solo, and Han Solo's pulling out his gun

Han kills him and walks off

Anonus · 2013-09-16 03:58:38

Meanwhile, back at the Death Star, Darth Vader tells his subordinates that Leia has considerable resistance to the mind probe

They intend to show off the true destructive power of the Death Star

C3PO and R2 must hid from the Stormtroopers

C3PO's always having disagreements with R2

A hooded figure in a gas mask is following our heroes...he's saying something about them into a walkie-talkie

And Luke thinks the Millennium Falcon is a piece of junk

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:00:54

Han Solo's shooting at some Stormtroopers to ward them off

Now the heroes are taking off in the Millennium Falcon

C3PO: "Oh my, I'd forgotten how much I hate space travel"

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:02:10

They've got to get away from the bad guys

HYPERSPEED

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:04:56

Oh god

They're going to destroy Alderaan if she doesn't talk

She said the rebel base was on Tatooine

But they're destroying Alderaan anyway

Man that's a cheesy explosion

Obi-Wan knows that Alderaan has been destroyed...he felt a great disturbance in the Force

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:06:24

R2 is playing some kind of stop-motion game

Chewbacca doesn't like losing games...he'll pull people's arms out of their sockets if he's too upset

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:07:37

Luke is learning the ways of the Force with a laser ball

Han Solo doesn't believe in the Force

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:09:56

Turns out the rebel base isn't actually on Tatooine

Darth Vader has been told to terminate Leia

Now the heroes have found out that Alderaan has been destroyed

And now they know about the Death Star..."That's no moon..."

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:13:42

The Millennium Falcon has been sucked into the Death Star

Now Darth Vader thinks that someone's trying to return the plans to Leia...she may be of some use to them

The Stormtroopers are checking the Millennium Falcon...turned out the heroes were hiding in secret compartments

And Obi-Wan keeps his cool

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:15:19

Chewie just punched a bad guy in the face

Han just shot this bad guy

He would prefer a straight fight to all this sneakin' around

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:19:04

Obi-Wan must go elsewhere, and he has reassured Luke that the Force will be with him...always

R2 knows that Leia is on board the death star, having stuck some part of himself into a jack

Han Solo doesn't want to rescue Leia...would rather let her die than risk his life

Luke, however, convinces him that the reward for rescuing Leia would be massive

So they're dressed as Stormtroopers again and they have Chewie in cuffs, so they can sneak into the detention center...

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:21:28

Luke isn't convinced that this is gonna work

Now the heroes are fighting the bad guys

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:24:46

Luke's saving Leia before the bad guys come get him

Darth Vader feels Obi-Wan on board the Death Star, because he's a master of the Force

And now the bad guys are shooting at Luke, Han, and Leia

They're gonna have a tough time escaping...until Leia shoots a hole in a chute cover

Air vent escape

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:26:34

ah, not an air vent, a garbage chute

There's some sort of serpent down here...it's got Luke

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:29:03

He's free, but now the walls are closing in on them

They have to use a pole to keep the walls from crushing them

Luke wants C3PO to save him, but he can't get in contact with him

Indeed, he's snitched on the heroes

He must have been manipulated

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:31:46

Now R2's plugging his thing into another jack

Luke's telling C3PO to shut down all the garbage chutes, a request that R2 complies with

C3PO can't really interpret their rejoice, so he thinks they're dying...which they are not!

Obi-Wan is sneaking around the ship

He's turned off the tractor beam

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:32:37

Heh, Leia called Chewbacca a "walking carpet"

Han Solo thinks she's a nag

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:36:15

Han Solo's running after some Stormtroopers, screaming and shooting

But Chewie (who also has a gun) drags him away

Luke and Leia are trapped at the edge of what seems like an abyss

Luke shooting one of the Stormtroopers elicits the Wilhelm scream

Anonus · 2013-09-16 04:37:00

They're across now, thanks to a hook

Obi-Wan's still sneaking around

Anonus Watches Star Wars: The Original Trilogy

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