The Trash Heap of the Heapers' Hangout

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  • Guess who’s coming down with tonsillitis?

    Trick question, it’s me.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    :(
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    bummer
  • I feel like I have missed some Things.

    And possibly a vast disturbance in the Force.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Vriska I will have you know that, in the break room at work, there's a poster urging us to "celebr8" something or other and every time I see it I think you wrote it.
  • Omg that is awesome.

    ...what if I DID write it? *spooky music*
  • AND NOWWWwWWWW

    I am going to bed. Dramatically.
  • Bisexual problem: not knowing whether I want to meet men or women on a dating site D:
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Honestly dating a woman might be a good idea for you, due to the men problems you seem to be having
  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    That's what I was thinking too, alongside searching for ace folk. Good luck either way Toolsie, hope you find someone nice and to your liking (or even multiple people like that).
  • Bleh, I may just stay single and become a crazy dog lady.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    When are 🐦 & 👦🏾 &  starting the Alice Is My Girlfriend Club?
  • Me: *scraping plate of food scraps into bin*
    Dog: *gets something out of the bin*
    Me: Oi, dead! Whatever it is you have in your mouth, dead!
    Dog: *coughs up mashed potato onto floor, sniffs it, then eats it*
    Me: Okay, never mind.

    (Mac is a retrieving dog, so he’s trained to drop things when we say “dead”. He just chooses to ignore us when food is involved)
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    oh, I thought you were threatening him with death.
  • Nah, it’s when he used to go out on pheasant shoots with dad, he would go and retrieve them if they landed in a bush or in a pond or something like that. We say “dead” to make him drop it, and he gets rewarded for dropping it. So now we use it all the time he has something in his mouth that we don’t want him to have.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    oh
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    image
  • image

    Yeah, pretty much that.

  • Except when food is involved. If he’s stolen an apple from the apple tree or something like that, he will clamp his jaws shut and we have to physically remove said object from him.
  • it's a good thing he never figured out pheasants are edible
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I park my car and wait for the bus into campus. After a few minutes, a North Express pulls up with the sign reading "NE: ACADEMIC CORE".

    I go to get on the bus. The driver stops me.

    "No, sir. This bus is out of service."

    "It doesn't say it's out of service."

    "Well, trust me. Unless you want to go to the garage, wait for the next bus."

    And it's like...I think she thought I was trying to argue that the bus wasn't really out of service? But that's so silly; I was just pointing out that I can't be expected to know the bus is out of service if the sign doesn't say so...
  • it's a good thing he never figured out pheasants are edible

    He’s trained not to eat them. Given the chance, though, he would.
  • So I gave my hair a proper wash today, and holy shit it’s so soft and fluffy.
  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Yay soft!
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Yay fluffy!
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I wanna hug Anonus-kun!!
  • I wish this cold would do one. Been ill since Wednesday night.
  • Update: so I woke up still feeling like crap. Except now my left ear is blocked up, so my sense of balance has gone.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    get rest and eat some chicken soup
  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...

    get rest and eat some chicken soup

  • get rest and eat some chicken soup

    I’m a vegetarian, so the chicken soup is out the window.

    I’m recovering a bit, though.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    vegetarian? well there's your problem
  • Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    Toolsie said:

    get rest and eat some chicken soup

    I’m a vegetarian, so the chicken soup is out the window.

    I’m recovering a bit, though.
    Get a good veggie soup then IMHO
  • So I wake up still feeling death warmed up, only to find that there is a think blanket of snow outside.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I'm not making a Super Bowl thread this year
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    whyzat
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    because i'm bored of it all
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    oh
  • Hello

    I am at the hairdressers getting my hair done
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    was it not soft and fluffy enough?
  • It was getting a bit long and shaggy, so now I've had it cut short enough that it is soft and fluffy.

    And got it dyed again.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    what color
  • Brown fading into red.
  • edited 2018-01-22 20:47:08
    ಠ_ಠ
    I don’t know what’s creepier: having men my age saying “wanna bang”, or having middle aged women saying the same thing.
  • > wanna bang

    this just reminds me of the "lemme smash" meme
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Toolsie said:

    I don’t know what’s creepier: having men my age saying “wanna bang”, or having middle aged women saying the same thing.

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Ooof.
  • Odradek said:

    Toolsie said:

    I don’t know what’s creepier: having men my age saying “wanna bang”, or having middle aged women saying the same thing.

    ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
    I had a 52 year old woman message me.

    Fifty. Two.

    She's old enough to be my mum. 
  • bald chicks inappropriate older women r hawt
    obviously I am not advocating such behavior and am sorry to hear this Toolsie
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