The Homestuck Heap of the Heapers' Hangout Forum

Gelzo

Wow...

Justice4243

Hey, looks like the last page also has a hint for when the Batter-witch took over.

Justice4243

These live here now, because "why not"?

CH3F and waiterstuck

D4V3 D4V3

what
oh jegus
it smells like a home depot fucking collapsed on itself in here
the lamp section is just broken glass under a heap of rubble
the limbs of a minimum wage handyman poke out from under some boards and shit
there were no survivors
1 TH1NK 1T SM3LLS GR34T
WH4TS 4 HOM3 D3POT?
its where people send their underpaid migrant workers to get stuff when they want to build shit
OH
WH4TS 4 M1GR4NT WORK3R?
never mind that
what are you doing
1 M4D3 D1NN3R >:]
thats pretty fucking unsettling
1 M4D3 TH3 B3ST SM3LL1NG P13S, 3V3R!
im pretty certain you just painted some chalk you put in a pie tin
im also pretty certain this is completely inedible
were talking about a number thats pretty fucking close to one hundred with a big old percentage sign behind it
OF COURS3 YOU C4NT 3AT TH3M Y3T!
YOU H4V3 TO B4K3 TH3M F1RST
oh gog
tell me you didnt
H3Y
WHAT SMELLS L1K3 CHOCOL4T3 OR4NG3S?
man how is that even a thing that trolls have
also the oven is on fire and im pretty sure burning paint fumes are pretty
goddamn toxic
GOD FUCKING DAMNIT why did you just eat that pie???
BUT IT SM3LT SO GOOD
i hope there is a stomach pump on this rock
D4V3 D4V3!
what
1 C4N SM3LL FOR3V3R, D4VE! >8]

Justice4243

D4V3 D4V3

whoo howd you even get in here

we barricaded the doors after last time

we even put up a sign telling you to keep the fuck out

HOW C4N 1 R34D 4 S1GN

1M B1ND, R3M3MB3R?

ok well I fucking walked right into that one

like it was a hole in the middle of the road with traffic cones and everything

TR4F1C CON3S T4ST3 L1K3 C4NDY CORN! >:o…

and a big sign that said keep away assholes

and i kept on walking like an oblivious douchebag and fell right in

but we still barricaded the door

i had to cut up that shit like a sushi chef on new fish day

1 CR4WL3D 1N THROUGH TH3 V3NTS!

thats some john mcclain shit right there

1 LOV3 TROLL BRUC3 W1LL1S

W3 SHOULD C0MP4RE NOT3S

too bad john isnt here we could really swap shitty move stories then

anyhow youre not allowed in here

food poisoning kanaya was certainly a thing

a thing with me and rose holding her down

while she licked our faces and said that she could taste the rainbow

HOW 1S TH4T MY F4ULT?

1 C4NT H3LP TH4T YOUR3 F4CE 1S SO L1CK4BLE

1T T4ST3 L1K3 CH3RR1ES COV3R3D IN OR4NG3 SH3RB3RT  >:]

your weird licking fetish aside

we still dont want you cooking anything

TH4TS OK

1V3 MOV3D ON TO M4K1NG R4W FOODS!

that sounds like it has far less chance of fire and much more chance of poisoning

and im not sure how much being licked by a day glow vampire I want to have happen

except that im pretty sure that its not alot

like somewhere in the realm of not at all

Justice4243

1 FOND TH3S3 T1NY FL4VOR C4PSUL3S

ok

ON3 DROP 4ND YOUR3 1N FL4VOR COUNTRY

im pretty certain thats food coloring

and that youre no supposed to take shots of it like a drunk widower who lost his wife in and kids in a tragic oven fire accident

1V3 4LR34DY H4D F1V3 OF TH3 R3D ON3S

oh jegus

youve turned your teeth red

1 KNOW

TH3Y TASTE GR3AT

OUCH!

what did you do

did you just bite down on a blue one

UHG B1GH MYGH TGHGHUNG!

wow its really bleeding

QUGH1GHCK! 4PPGHGHY PR3GHSSURGH3!

im not convince this isnt a convoluted ploy to lick my hands…again

*P4SS3S OUT*

ok well thats pretty convincing

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Gelzo

I wonder how they managed to raise themselves...

I might want to reread Homestuck later. I think a lot more things are going to make sense on a second reading. Like, now we know why it's reasonable for both Jane and Roxy to disagree on whether alphaRose is dead.

It's also amusing to me that Jane and Jake seem old-fashioned in the way they speak since we know that they're from 400 years ago from the other kids' perspective.

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Haven

That explains a lot, actually. Roxy's use of troll terms, all the exiles in her basement, how she and Dirk knew Betty Crocker was evil, why they both have access to more advanced technology, Dirk's statements about his orientation...it even explains how Maplehoof got there, though I don't think it explains why Maplehoof is a tiny Maplehoof.

(Though given something he said on his tumblr a few days ago, I think Hussie expected us to figure this out during Jane: Enter. Now I definitely have to rewatch that.)

Why do they consider Rose and Dave their parents if they live four centuries ago?

Since trolls have taken over, they probably consider them in the same light as trolls consider their ancestors. They've collected or inherited various items from them and strive to emulate them in some respects, so that means they're family. Although given that alpha!Rose possibly has magical insight, she might have foreseen Roxy and left notes and such, or bought robots to raise her (and she might've helped Dave do the same).

Justice4243

That they are not presently alive nor ever played that role for us as she understands it is just an extension of a much more elaborate and far reaching explanation, which is much harder for anyone to digest in its entirety. 

I guess the signs are there if you've REALLY been paying attention to word choices, grammer, etc...

GG: Tsk. What would your mother have to say if she caught you? 
TG: p sure she wouldnt give a shit 
TG: i mean 
TG: shes the one who stocked thegod damn liquor cabinets in the firts place 
TG: i dont even think she ever had a drop in her life probably 
TG: so why else is she puttin it there it was like 
TG: a passive aggrassive dare for me 
TG: *aggressive 
TG: jut the sort of mind game she would play 
GG: So even if your insane and paranoid theory happens to be true, your response is, "Screw it! Time to help myself to all this mind game booze." 
TG: yuuuuuuuuuuuup 
TG: pppp mcuh 

Haven

Update. Are we sure Rose is human? Cause right now she looks like a -master- troll.

lee4hmz

This is seriously one of the funniest exchanges in the comic:

ROSE: You're wondering why I didn't tell you?
DAVE: no
ROSE: You're specifically wondering why I wasn't forthcoming with an answer to your question at the time, "hey who was that choice babe in the pajamas?"
DAVE: god fucking dammit

Spacey

I was about to say that I've stopped paying attention to Homestuck because I Don't Care About These New Characters, but then I saw you guys talking about the old characters and I was all :3

Justice4243

I'd imagine the next act will have some involvement from our four heros + the surviving trolls. 

I think act six was just sort of a set-up. Part of it's charm/problem is that it was set to be very much like act one. Which I can see as being annoying considering how epic the story has gotten since then (also I very much consider the story to be somewhat weak in the beginning, but who'd have any idea what it'd lead up to?)

Justice4243

I had to read this twice before it clicked it was another callback:

KARKAT: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY. 
KARKAT: I GOT A LAB FULL OF HUMANS, A MOUTH FULL OF YELLING, AND A TORTURED PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE FULL OF TOTALLY HYSTERICAL 

Justice4243

More update, to borrow from  earlier in the story:

OH MY FUCKING HELL, THIS IS SO INSANELY AWKWARD AND SAD.

Haven

At first I thought Rose was taking it to spare Dave, but then I saw the expression on her face... O.o

Though you'd think if she was that interested Kanaya would've been more than happy to lend her a rainbow drinker romance.

lee4hmz

Just read the updates and I'm still not sure what's going on. Though it does seem that Rose has some new...O-O...WONK material. 

YEAHHHHHHHH

Haven

That's preposterous, Homestuck's plot is instantly comprehensible at all times.

lee4hmz

If I'm reading this correctly, Karkat is basically asking Dave if he wants to be in on a threesome, possibly even a foursome. :O

Justice4243

Eh, I'd say it's more like a polyamorous relationship. 

Basically, Karkat is hoping to "share" Terezi, but he's figured out that he can't maintain a flushed red relationship with her and it'll turn to black and back and forth.

He's trying to sell Dave on the idea that Dave can have her when Karkat and Terezi are in "black mode". 

lee4hmz

Yeah, something like that. I know I wouldn't be comfortable with something like that. I'm wondering how Dave will take this.

Justice4243

I think he's in the process of not taking it well, as well as being pretty certain that most trolls wouldn't take it well either. 

It seems to me a troll wold react about the same as most people would to someone suggesting they could share a potential significant other.

In theory, it's probably possible, but emotions usually don't work out that well in such arrangements. 

Haven

I get the feeling it's the kind of relationship that could happen naturally, but would eventually stabilize (possibly through the intervention of an auspitice/moirail/murder). But trying to invoke it is just derpy.

Anyway, wouldn't Karkat's past and future selves get jealous? :p

Justice4243

Heh, did anyone catch how long that title of that book is?

lee4hmz

Oh wow, it's practically unreadable.

Justice4243

Apropos of me finding this image:

Justice4243

http://rufiozuko.tumblr.com/

"Things are going great in the Philippines. I’ll post some video soon. We can still use help fulfilling our kickstarter: http://kck.st/xlJtYf I’m trying to figure a way to reward my Homestucks that support us on kickstarter, maybe send out Rufio Stickers or even doing some voice acting for a HS character."

If he did some voice acting for Tavros, I think my brain might just liquefy and flow right out of my skull then even attempt to comprehend the sheer awesomeness of it all.

lee4hmz

Apropos of nothing: I was just flipping through channels, and I caught the ending of Con Air. If anyone says "but what does that have to do with Homestuck", well...

Haven

That reminds me, a while ago an RP gave me the idea to write a liveblog of Con Air from the point of view of Kanaya watching it, making observations about what it looks like from a troll's point of view.

I might still do it, just so I can call it Kan Air.

lee4hmz

That pun makes the whole thing worthwhile, I think. :D

Vriska

Troll romance sure is weird!

Tre

Gawd, I need to catch up.

PlutoniumFist

Seamus' Update Summary:

Karkat still a moron, edging into Eridan territory.

Gelzo

Dave cracks me up.

Justice4243

DAVE: karkat whoa man what are you doing 
DAVE: why are you drawing all these human dicks 
DAVE: how do you even know what they look like what have you been watching?? 
KARKAT: I'M NOT DRAWING THOSE!!!!!!! 
KARKAT: YOU'RE MAKING ME DRAW THEM, STOP THAT. 
DAVE: no way 
DAVE: this book is now like 
DAVE: our fight fueled ouija board of cock 

Wow... you cannot beat Dave in a Troll off, he is simply the best there is.

And it's pretty hard to see what Karkat is doing as anything but reprehensible. Dave has a bizarre approach to dealing with it, but it seems better to me that his basically sabotaging Karkat then letting him present a calender of how Terezi's time is to be split up to her.

Also:

Haven

Mm, Karkat doing this would be a pretty bitter pill if it wasn't sweetened (and hella'd) by Dave. Not quite in Eridan territory, but...that's not saying much.

One-Winged Eagle

Well, they are still juvenile trolls.

They've got some growing up to do.

lee4hmz

Justice: That and it also seems like it's a callback to Karkat and Terezi fighting over the keyboard at the very beginning of Act 5 Act 2. But yeah, they totally need to flip it, turn-ways even.

Haven

And Karkat continues to prove himself...incapeable.

lee4hmz

Oh, and looking at the last panel of the latest update....it seems Kanaya did indeed flip her sprite turn-ways. XD

By the way, when I was blabbing a while back about FF6 refs post-AlterniaBound, I was especially thinking of how, one of the first times I read the story of the Sufferer, the music I had in my head was "Another World of Beasts" -- the Espers' theme. Cascade was kind of like a happier version of the Floating Continent, and Act 6 so far has been kind of a combination of New Pork City from MOTHER3, everything in the second half of EarthBound, and the World of Ruin from FF6...two of the main characters even have an airship of sorts!

Yes, there's only been a few concrete refs to FF so far (especially anything having to do with fraymotifs or the Shop), but the feel is very similar.

lee4hmz

Oh, and while I'm thinking about it:

IDE/THEORY: Roxy and Dirk will not enter the Medium by normal means.

Those fourth walls of theirs lead to the Furthest Ring, right? I'm not ruling out the possibility that they somehow end up on the meteor with Rose, Dave, and the trolls.

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lee4hmz

Oh right, the piece-of-shit sword that became the SORD..... was from FF, wasn't it...

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lee4hmz

Ah, okay.

Justice4243

You've got to imagine some future (or past) SBURB player finding that book in some form or another and trying to decipher those two page.

"Is it...an alien language?"

"I think it's a map."

"Why"

"Look at all those arrows."

"Those are arrows?"

"Maybe those are what arrows look like on that planet..."

They'll never know two teenagers fought over a pen and "Penis Oujia" was the result.

lee4hmz

YES.

HELL YES.

HELL. FUCKING. YES.

>:]

lee4hmz

Jade has clearly been around John too long; she's caught the DERP.

One-Winged Eagle

Oh good merciful Lord.

Oh happy hopping Buddha.

I can't take this.

A Ghostbusters MMORPG.

I'm going to lose it.

Oh Lordy, help me.