The Landfill of the Heapers' Hangout (contains Fossilmaiden's Punnery)
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Comments
several specific filler episodes are contenders
it was used in stuffing
i lack a toaster
my plans have been foiled again, fungah!
who the hell puts fungi in a toaster?
...as a means for scratching out cave paintaings about davy crocket's time as a member of congress
. . . as a frying pan
we need some soup
FOR SHAME
Comic Sans
*texts from a few feet away*
kids like you . . .
FINLAND!
VERSUS!
ULYSSES GRANT!
BEGIN!!!
Finland: Why so angry, Mr. President?
How about I make you happier with a present?
(hands Grant a present...which turns out to be whiskey)
You're always drunk and raving,
In the Civil War, you're killing more than you're saving.
I'm a decent fellow, but get me wrong and I turn violent.
You're a dwarf to Abe Lincoln's giant.
I'm the Scandinavian man of cheer, bringing in Christmas like Saint Nick.
In the end, you're about as together as a window shattered by a brick.
Grant: (snarls) Listen you blonde-haired dunce,
You're not so tough since you ditched your guns!
Just go off and give your fuzzball a bath!
I'm the one who Lincoln needed to face the math!
(throws bottle at Finland's feet)
I de-militarized the losers when I reached my station!
And I made Christmas a holiday for the WHOLE nation!
I trounced R.E. Lee, you're just Sweden's whore!
Now, I destroy you like the Confederacy IN THE CIVIL WAR!
???: What's with this attitude?
(Amy Grant arrives with a sudden arrival of snow, confusing the two rappers.)
Amy Grant: Christ's love is in all, from the brain to the heart.
Now, let's see what you did wrong from the start.
(looks at Finland)
Now, Tino, you're a nice boy and all,
But you can't stand up for yourself...AT ALL.
(looks at Grant)
And, Mr. President, I mean no disrespect,
But your administration was corrupt and imperfect.
(looks up as a Christmas tree is raised)
I sing all the Christmas songs, from Jingle Bells to O' Come All Ye Faithful.
Now, let's all be nice, admit I win, and just be graceful.
(sleighbells are heard as a sleigh comes in. However, the Grinch looks out, wearing his Santa outfit.)
Grinch: That's not how these work, Ms. Grant!
(jumps out)
I'm a mean one and I'm all green
And the most memorable thing from Dr. Seuss ever seen!
You three are just a trio of sappy cowards!
Nothing can kill me, not even Ron Howard!
(points at Grant)
You need anger-management!
(then to Finland)
YOU grow some!
(then to Amy Grant)
And YOU need to sing other songs and SHOW SOME!
(pulls out a sack)
All three of you suck, so go into my sack!
(shoves all three into the bag)
I'm stealing Christmas, and I'm NOT givin' it back!
???: HOLD IT!
(Grinch halts and looks over, seeing Herod the Great.)
Herod: You call that hate?
I'm HEROD THE GREAT!
You live on a mountain, while I rule the Jews...
If none of them kill me, then I'll kill them first, FOOLS!
You try stealing Christmas? I TRIED STOPPING IT AT THE ROOT!
And people just call me one twisted Froot Loop!
(Grinch simply winds a finger next to his ear)
You green-furred, thieving, isolated punk! You make me want to hurl!
I killed my wife, but you LIED TO A GIRL!
(Herod raises a sword, but is stopped by a glowing light. Jesus descends from the Heavens.)
Jesus: My children, I have come back to absolve you of your sins.
Herod: ...Including me?
Jesus: No, you're kind of a jerk.
(Herod takes in a sharp breath, clutches his crotch, and keels over.)
Jesus: But I have something great for you remaining four.
It's called Salvation and it means so much more.
(Grinch drops his bag as Finland, U.S. Grant, and Amy Grant get out)
It's the Spirit of Christmas and that's what it's all about.
Better than songs or presents or stuff or blood all about.
I restore all souls, give a way to paradise.
I shifted the long-viewed paradigm.
I'm a symbol of religion and all-around goodness
Handing out sacrifices and, ultimately, forgiveness.
I came to save you all, you should know better by now.
I may be the Son, but I'm the one who bows.
(gives sweeping bow before vanishing in light. The four look at each other before nodding and giving each other presents. The angel at the top of the tree then winks.)
WHO WON?!
WHO'S NEXT?!
YOU DECIDE!!!
EPIC RAP BATTLES OF HISTORY!!!
should be burning in hell.
you're a grumpy, grouchy guy
your aggravating antics even sicken sakurai, dedede...
You say capitalism sucks!