Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
However, it is also said that there are some people who wouldn't die even if you killed them.
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
But where does it go? That is the true mystery of life.
Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
ALRIGHT ALREADY WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON ALRIGHT WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON OKAY DON'T WORRY WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON EVEN IF THINGS GET HEAVY WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON ALL RIGHT ALREADY WE'LL ALL GHOST ON ALL RIGHT DON'T YOU WORRY WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
It is my firm belief that man can subsist on nothing more then chili and anger.
To that end, I have decided to share my own favorite chili recipe with the lot of you, so that you may convert your shame and anger into chili and anger. In this way, I am the best humanitarian who has ever or will ever survive.
I'm going to be breaking a few sacred chili rules here. Too bad; I apologize to no one.
Ingredients:
1 & 1/2 to 2 lbs of ground PORK (perfect way to uncover jews) 2 packages of french onion soup mix (be prepared for your chili to surrender) 2 tablespoons of chili powder (less if you're a baby, more if you're a man) 4 teaspoons of ground cumin (omit this and I will devour your soul) 1 teaspoon of black pepper (slightly racist) 1/2 teaspoon of salt (or none if you're heaving a heart attack right now) 6 ejaculations (squirts) of Tabasco sauce 1 21-ounce can of red beans and 1 21-ounce can of black beans (I have a dream) 2 6-ounce cans of tomato paste with garlic (regular tomato paste = you're an rear end in a top hat) 2 8-ounce cans of tomato sauce (real men need more than just paste) 1 yellow, orange or red pepper, chopped up (green peppers are Satan's taint) 1 package of sliced mushrooms (yes, you can slice your own mushrooms, smartass)
Instructions:
1. Put the meat in a huge chili pot and brown it over medium heat 2. Add 4 cups of water and the french onion soup mix. Stir and let simmer for 10 minutes 3. Stir in the spices and the Tabasco and simmer for another minute or two 4. Add the beans, the mushrooms and the chopped pepper 5. Turn to low and let simmer for at least 20 minutes, 40 is better, stirring every 5-10 6. Call your mother and tell her she's not allowed to hug you anymore
And that's it, you're done. You just went from a pathetic, flaccid pushover to a chili-chewing boner-owner in about an hour. Your life will thank me.
Who's next? Don't even think about posting a recipe with corn in it. You should be ashamed of yourself.
Now hold on just a minute. I don’t want anyone misinterpreting my chili. My chili is not about experimenting with gay sex during your college years. My chili is not about wearing a god damned chef’s hat. My chili is not about sauntering around with your premium ingredients while singing a pretty little song about your first period.
This is back to basics chili. This is “I’m flat loving broke” chili. This is “I have one hour to feed myself before my shift surfing for CP at the local library starts” chili. This is camping chili. This is hunting chili. This is house full of screaming little shits chili. This is the comfort chili you make your best friend right after he walks in on you speed-bagging his sister. This is quick, easy, tasty, man chili. This isn’t the chili you have Gordon Ramsey weep into because you didn’t use all fresh ingredients. And this is not the chili you waste a perfectly good steak making.
This thread is for the kind of chili you make by throwing 5 dollars of crap into a pot and screaming at it until it bends to your will. Any other type of recipe can go over to that “let’s put tequila in chili and pretend we haven’t failed as human beings” thread and contemplate the best day to commit suicide.
Comments
ALRIGHT WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON
OKAY DON'T WORRY WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON
EVEN IF THINGS GET HEAVY WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON
ALL RIGHT ALREADY WE'LL ALL GHOST ON ALL RIGHT
DON'T YOU WORRY WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON
WE'LL ALL FLOAT ON
:/
If it had one.
(OOC: I used to like this show when I was eleven, but I tried to watch it from the beginning recently and gave up after four episodes.)
the internet is full of dirty old men
eeewww
you're a dirty old man
D:
^_^
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
This is my right as human being and I dare pray tell that exercising this right is the only way to convince you that chocolate is awesome.
Oh no, I hope this won't make us all look bad
To that end, I have decided to share my own favorite chili recipe with the lot of you, so that you may convert your shame and anger into chili and anger. In this way, I am the best humanitarian who has ever or will ever survive.
I'm going to be breaking a few sacred chili rules here. Too bad; I apologize to no one.
Ingredients:
1 & 1/2 to 2 lbs of ground PORK (perfect way to uncover jews) 2 packages of french onion soup mix (be prepared for your chili to surrender) 2 tablespoons of chili powder (less if you're a baby, more if you're a man) 4 teaspoons of ground cumin (omit this and I will devour your soul) 1 teaspoon of black pepper (slightly racist) 1/2 teaspoon of salt (or none if you're heaving a heart attack right now) 6 ejaculations (squirts) of Tabasco sauce 1 21-ounce can of red beans and 1 21-ounce can of black beans (I have a dream) 2 6-ounce cans of tomato paste with garlic (regular tomato paste = you're an rear end in a top hat) 2 8-ounce cans of tomato sauce (real men need more than just paste) 1 yellow, orange or red pepper, chopped up (green peppers are Satan's taint) 1 package of sliced mushrooms (yes, you can slice your own mushrooms, smartass)
Instructions:
1. Put the meat in a huge chili pot and brown it over medium heat 2. Add 4 cups of water and the french onion soup mix. Stir and let simmer for 10 minutes 3. Stir in the spices and the Tabasco and simmer for another minute or two 4. Add the beans, the mushrooms and the chopped pepper 5. Turn to low and let simmer for at least 20 minutes, 40 is better, stirring every 5-10 6. Call your mother and tell her she's not allowed to hug you anymore
And that's it, you're done. You just went from a pathetic, flaccid pushover to a chili-chewing boner-owner in about an hour. Your life will thank me.
Who's next? Don't even think about posting a recipe with corn in it. You should be ashamed of yourself.
This is back to basics chili. This is “I’m flat loving broke” chili. This is “I have one hour to feed myself before my shift surfing for CP at the local library starts” chili. This is camping chili. This is hunting chili. This is house full of screaming little shits chili. This is the comfort chili you make your best friend right after he walks in on you speed-bagging his sister. This is quick, easy, tasty, man chili. This isn’t the chili you have Gordon Ramsey weep into because you didn’t use all fresh ingredients. And this is not the chili you waste a perfectly good steak making.
This thread is for the kind of chili you make by throwing 5 dollars of crap into a pot and screaming at it until it bends to your will. Any other type of recipe can go over to that “let’s put tequila in chili and pretend we haven’t failed as human beings” thread and contemplate the best day to commit suicide.