"It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
CK to Europa Universalis to Victoria to Hearts of Iron, where Werner von Braun goes into space?
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Ah I get it, sort of how some nations or people you play as it's mostly about intrigue and slowing building and maintaining a Duchy or some such over a number of centuries and with other nations it's sort of a race to see if you can conquer the entire game map before the clock runs out?
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Continued my game. Couple rounds of declaring war on everyone.
Not much to report after that save one of my wifes poisoned another wife, so I had her killed.
My character currently has three black wives as they where the best for establishing an alliance, and he's still having kids, too.
He's definitely expanded the Empire much further than his brother in my alternative game. Next up is more war on the Byzantines. Their Empire looks pretty thrashed and it's quite common for little rebellions to start up. This often is BAD for them, as I can then swoop in and pick off the smaller, rebelling nations.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
So this, is what a war on everyone looks like:
You wanna go, punk?
Those wars went well, the Byzantiens don't put up the fight the used to. Heck, that might have been the war where they basically just rolled over and let me siege them into submission. Not sure if they where busy with something else, or what...
Anyhow, a bit later something interesting happened. My Caliph decided "Sicily? That should TOTALLY belong to the Muslims." Needing to lower my decadence score something fierce I happily joined the Jihad.
I'm guessing about half the Catholics where out sick that year...
Eat a dick, Pisa!
Things where quiet for about a year, I think I spent most of it gathering all my vassals for a round of stealing land from children, then the Pope decided the Catholics should have Sicily back.
Most of the Catholics (and also the Byzantines for some reason...) on the board gathered and sent troops. Trouble was, I was able to organize large navies and armies relatively easily while troops from around the globe trickled in at about 10,000 a time. Something the A.I. hasn't figured out is boats.
I mean, it understand you can use them to put troops on and ferry those troops to a certain location, but it seems to assume that's enough. It doesn't really have down that you can quickly move troops around coastal locations at a fraction of the speed of land, effectively letting you kick ass, put the troops on some ships, move the ship, then kick someone else's ass.
Another effective strategy is to leave a siege country with a small amount of troops on land and a ton of troops on boats, wait for your enemy to attack what it thinks is an easy victory, then drop a ton of troops on them.
Given that Sicily is like...100% coastal countries, them getting beat into submission was sort of inevitable.
Obnoxiously, Tartari decided it wanted some of IT'S land back and declared war. Unfortunately for them, the Catholics where almost done having lining up for their free ass-hangings, leaving me with a whole bunch of armies in size from 10,000 to 20,000 strong and lots of boats floating around waiting to take those armies to Tartaria.
Tartaria having it's shit together more than the Catholics was not enough for them to get there land back and avoid being massacred by pre-packed armies. However, it was enough to make the war last long enough that Bayezid the wise died of old age.
Dat ruler score!
He MORE than made up for his dad dying earlier + his brother in an earlier game.
Still, I went back and checked who Sonmez had left his kingdom to, it it turned out he's heir was a glutenous hedonist...
I killed a few family members for old time sake, but Bayezid's heir had much more land, much better stats, and now, much more potential targets.
He also had brothers with much better stats, especially diplomacy which seems to be a family trait. I was given enough titles that I could keep the best brother happy without giving up a Sultanate.
Leaving me with Grand Vizier Lando Calrissian
I've actually played with him quite a bit, but I'll get delve into his story in a later post.
After finally getting all of my DLC back (what a process that was) I've started my first new game in awhile. Beginning as the ua Briain dynasty in Ireland again, because why not
if anyone's as into this game as I am and also has about $50 of disposable income (unlike me), both Europa Universalis IV and the CK2 -> EU4 save converter were released today. I highly recommend both of them.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Definitely need to do an update on my game, later.
I have screen shots and everything.
The quickish version is I'm on to the son of the Bayezid II above. I had to manage the pretenders while already dealing with smaller outbreaks of relatives who where mad because after they joined a faction to limit my power or declare independence, I tried to imprison them, and for some reason they though the imminent death that follows when I do this was enough to rebel.
Jerks.
Anyhow, one of my brothers...or half-brothers more likely. Didn't have any male heirs, and I was the next in line to inherit his territories. He died tragically from a mysterious knife wound to the chest.
The failed assassination attempt that was revealed to be financed by me total coincidence...
Anyhow, all his land made placating my other brother temporarily a breeze.
He would later get mad again and consider rebelling, but was less mindful that I could throw him in prison, take most his titles, and have him killed.
So, the initial war with all my relatives who don't like me, all of them hasn't been too intolerable this game.
Also of note is one of the reasons I took an extended break is the Holy Roman Empire declared war on me last time I was playing and I didn't feel like dealing with that right away (I also still had both brothers after my blood, I didn't think to assassinate the one until days later of considering that situation).
I loaded my last save, (weeks in the past) and oddly enough, they didn't this time. Possibly because I went back into my save with a bit more fervor, got a couple more wars going, and raised all my levies. I'm sure even a couple weeks of me moving troops into large armies to crush rebelling family members is a pretty good deterrent. They currently seem to be at war with the Fatimid.
Definitly a better start with this guy than last time I was playing as him
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
So, since I'll won't be playing as his decendants, I guess I should share my favorite Sonmez moment:
Good times.
So, rewinding a bit.
Bayezid I did many things before his death, but one thing his missed was getting his decadence score down.
His son, Bayezid II, in a bid to get a lid on his decadence basically threw all his relatives he didn't like in prison to redistribute their lands to the ones he did like.
Of course, it's never a guarantee you're going to successfully impression anyone in this game so...
Allah damnit...
This made things tedious, but not necessary dangerous. At worse any one of his relatives had a duchy or two, so he was able to pick them off one-by-one.
Eventually, it was time to war with the Catholics.
All of them.
Bayezid II never concurred much territory, but the Pope now lives under Sunni rule, so there's that.
Also, his half-brother that I dubbed Lando, of course, ended up betraying me in true Empire Strikes Back fashion, and starting a faction . I, in turn, imprisoned and executed him in true Crusader Kings 2 fashion. It seems it's pretty impossible to keep your powerful brothers from thinking they should rule at some point or another.
Anyhow, as mentioned I moved on to Bayezid's son who has managed to transition ruler-ship with a much smaller mass rebellion thus far.
Harold Godwinson was not cowering in fear, but was combing Mercia for any able bodied men and boy to make good the losses of Stamford Bridge. As the Normans had gained an all too false since of security, the English king let them believe it until January of 1067. Proclaiming the past year’s comet to have been an ancient sign of inevitable Saxon triumph (later tied by Vilhem af Mamelsbury to the prophecy of, all people, Merlin), Harold struck south with a vengeance. The English retook Winchester, besieged Pevensey castle, and then took to the defensive waiting for William’s response. The Duke, of course, broke quarters and rushed south to relieve his men and save his base of operations. On 23 January, he met the Saxons in battle at Hastings. Thirteen charges and relentless volleys of arrows wreaked havoc but the English shield wall would not break. As the afternoon began to wane, William lead an all-out final assault backed up by his hired Occitan and Italian heavy infantry. At the crest of the hill, the Bastard found himself face to with Harold and his huscarls. One of the burly Saxons, according to legend, hewed the Duke’s horse in half, leaving William stranded in the melee as the assault again faltered on the shieldwall. Harold leapt at his wounded rival and only took a few minutes to dispatch him (perhaps wishing he had been able to do the same to Hardrada). What had been a waver now became a Norman rout as soon as William’s death was made known. A flag of truce was flown and negotiations began the next day; peace was made with the Norman army leaving under arms only having to return the money looted from Winchester.
Where there had been three, there were now only two men boldly fighting for control of this island. What an England under Norman rule would have looked like is hard to say, although from other instances of Norman conquest such as southern Italy, there would have been no doubt a harsher subjugation of the native Saxon and British races and a wholesale program of Frankish cultural imperialism, in comparison to the later actions of Hardrada. While such is interesting to speculate on, that is not the focus of this work. Our focus shall now return to the North and the main campaigning season of the year 1067.
Wait, you can make this happen? You can fix history and make the good guys win at Hastings?
WHY DO I NOT HAVE A COMPUTER CAPABLE OF RUNNING THIS GAME?
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
MOOONGOOOOL HOOOOOOOOOOOOOORDES!
I actually probably have the resources to take out these f*ckers. I just wish I could predict when they're coming to make sure I'm prepared and say, not trying to invade more of Italy (given that the Holy Roman Empire is about the only one who can put up a fight).
That being said, the nice thing about being able to freely imprison family members who have land is that I can keep a perpetual easy to manage civil war going and keep my levies raised.
Bring your 130K armies that suffer no attrition, fuckers.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Ah, I'm trying to get details on if they're any worse than what I'm fighting now, the internet is sadly mum on that.
They'll definitely need to step up their game a bit over the Ilkhanate. The main issue here is GETTING my troops over to that side of the map and making sure I don't loose them all to attrition by having too many on the same country at the same time.
Also hoping the Holy Roman Empire cools it's jets for a bit. Since they actually can field large enough armies to be obnoxious if I'm looking in the complete opposite direction.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Interesting.
Apparently, the factions are also prone to infighting. Though it looks like they need enough territory to keep them busy.
If the next set looks hopelessly powerful (much like the decadence rebellions), then it might be a better idea to let them win a couple wars, wait for the infighting to begin, and then move in and clean house.
Nor, really, do any of the mongol hordes. Something about their programming makes them have large-scale civil wars way less often than any other AI-controlled nation.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
I've read on forums that internal revolts are usually what halts their progress, but it looks like you're correct in that it doesn't happen as often, as say...Tataria.
Apparently, assassinating the Khan can sometimes trigger the infighting. Though, from my limited experience, I'm thinking this should not be "step 1" in dealing with them.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
I suppose I could continue expanding west and let them get to a point where they're having the trouble that I was with getting their troops around that space.
Kiva and the immediate nations around it aren't exactly super useful.
It's a shame the ocean is so damn far away, otherwise I could assemble and crush their armies as they spread out rather easily.
In a game where you spend most your time murdering, imprisoning, and taking over almost anything that moves, not really. I mean, Irish France isn't going to win many prizes for historical accuracy either.
someone uncovered an absolutely massive, 70+ trigger event chain that can cause witches to come to your court and, among other things, make one of your children a demon.
I am finally finally finally done with my Great Albion CK2 game. So done in fact, that I hand-labelled the map screenshot. I think that what I did was pretty cool, hopefully you guys do too.
Italian Africa is historically accurate! That's just not where it was.
also this LP is entertaining.
Somalia, Eritrea and Ethiopia.
Also, Greece (under Alexander) did control most of the Middle East at one point, which is why you can still find Greek-featured Buddha statues in parts of Iran and Pakistan.
Comments
oh wait
no, it's a meme (Poland can into space) indicating a particular nation's largeness in the game.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
can The Karen Satrapy into space?
Maybe!
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
He also had brothers with much better stats, especially diplomacy which seems to be a family trait. I was given enough titles that I could keep the best brother happy without giving up a Sultanate.
if anyone's as into this game as I am and also has about $50 of disposable income (unlike me), both Europa Universalis IV and the CK2 -> EU4 save converter were released today. I highly recommend both of them.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Harold Godwinson was not cowering in fear, but was combing Mercia for
any able bodied men and boy to make good the losses of Stamford Bridge.
As the Normans had gained an all too false since of security, the
English king let them believe it until January of 1067. Proclaiming the
past year’s comet to have been an ancient sign of inevitable Saxon
triumph (later tied by Vilhem af Mamelsbury to the prophecy of, all
people, Merlin), Harold struck south with a vengeance. The English
retook Winchester, besieged Pevensey castle, and then took to the
defensive waiting for William’s response. The Duke, of course, broke
quarters and rushed south to relieve his men and save his base of
operations. On 23 January, he met the Saxons in battle at Hastings.
Thirteen charges and relentless volleys of arrows wreaked havoc but the
English shield wall would not break. As the afternoon began to wane,
William lead an all-out final assault backed up by his hired Occitan and
Italian heavy infantry. At the crest of the hill, the Bastard found
himself face to with Harold and his huscarls. One of the burly Saxons,
according to legend, hewed the Duke’s horse in half, leaving William
stranded in the melee as the assault again faltered on the shieldwall.
Harold leapt at his wounded rival and only took a few minutes to
dispatch him (perhaps wishing he had been able to do the same to
Hardrada). What had been a waver now became a Norman rout as soon as
William’s death was made known. A flag of truce was flown and
negotiations began the next day; peace was made with the Norman army
leaving under arms only having to return the money looted from
Winchester.
Where there had been three, there were now only two men boldly fighting
for control of this island. What an England under Norman rule would have
looked like is hard to say, although from other instances of Norman
conquest such as southern Italy, there would have been no doubt a
harsher subjugation of the native Saxon and British races and a
wholesale program of Frankish cultural imperialism, in comparison to the
later actions of Hardrada. While such is interesting to speculate on,
that is not the focus of this work. Our focus shall now return to the
North and the main campaigning season of the year 1067.
Wait, you can make this happen? You can fix history and make the good guys win at Hastings?
WHY DO I NOT HAVE A COMPUTER CAPABLE OF RUNNING THIS GAME?
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
The Golden Horde has about 1.5x their amount of troops and I think the Timurids have like three times.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Nor, really, do any of the mongol hordes. Something about their programming makes them have large-scale civil wars way less often than any other AI-controlled nation.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
There are definitely civil wars, but the Golden Horde and especially the Timurids just have so many troops that it doesn't really matter.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
so what do peeps think about Sons of Abraham's announcement? The new Papal Control mechanic seems sweet.
Interesting historical parallel, though I was involved in it to some extent so I can't say that it's totally random.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
I'm currently playing an Ironman game as the Duke of Tuscany in the Old Gods start, trying to make my brother Giovanni the Pope.
Irony: the Pope who presided over this trial was named Formosus (which is for some reason a name that Popes in CK2 can have).
it's just one of a couple I wish wasn't in there (like John-Paul, which I think was actually edited out in a patch).
to spoil it