You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
The deacon told this story from the book of tobit (exists, apparently?) about a couple being married, but the bride's father is worried because they're hiding from the groom that the bride had been previously married seven times
And I'm like ok kind of not something important but okay
He continues that the father had his gardener dig a grave "for the body"
And like what
And then it continues and the moral is that the point of a marriage is not lust, and so on, and the dad fills the hole back in
So that's... mysterious.
I look it up and turns out the deacon left out the part where the bride had been cursed by the demon of lust, Asmodeus, who killed her previous husbands
Seems important??
I'd just like to point out to the others that, upon arriving at the table for the reception, Tzetze IMMEDIATELY pulled out his phone to look this up because the deacon's omission left him puzzled.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
It made no sense to me either, but I just assumed I'd missed part of the story with my brain being fried from the heat. But evidently not.
...in what universe did Lord of the Rings copy from anybody? Everyone in fantasy has been cribbing notes from Tolkien since times immemorial.
Hell, DnD directly took the Hobbits, called them halflings, and then forced all the johnny-come-latelys to pick their own inferior names. That's how we got frigging MTG kithkin.
it's possible he mentioned asmodeus and i missed it, but i find that hard to believe, because fucking asmodeus, who i thought was a dnd invention
I'd say "wow you really did have a secular upbringing" but it's not like your average Christian learns about asmodeus either, just nerdy weirdboys who read pop history books about demonology.
Oh wait I looked it up and the book of Tobit isn't canonical for Protestants so that's why.
The old testament is what I'm semi familiar with and i don't think there are any demons at all, other than maybe the serpent
It does have (or the apocrypha i know has) azrael, angel of death, with one open eye on its body for every living person, and who will stalk you in the night and kill you if you try to trick it
The old testament is what I'm semi familiar with and i don't think there are any demons at all, other than maybe the serpent
It does have (or the apocrypha i know has) azrael, angel of death, with one open eye on its body for every living person, and who will stalk you in the night and kill you if you try to trick it
Comments
am I welcome here? I feel like I'm not...
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
like so
Hold on
☭
B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
⚢
Turned out the Balrog came first.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
It does have (or the apocrypha i know has) azrael, angel of death, with one open eye on its body for every living person, and who will stalk you in the night and kill you if you try to trick it
Which is spookier than a lust demon
Was kind of weird to encounter the name attached to a LotR creature.
Also yes, Tolkien borrowed a lot of stuff from Norse mythology etc.
☭
B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
⚢
a lot of the depictions look like stuff that came out of a bad Anime/Manga coloring book
☭
B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
⚢
A great president of Hell who from his throne, commands fifty legions of demons and teaches Philosophy.
How he gonna sit on his Throne with no ass?
well, wouldn't that be nice
Master: Kairi Sisigou
True name: Mordred
Gender: Female
Height/Weight: 154cm/42kg
Alignment: Chaotic Neutral
Strength: B+
Endurance: A
Agility: B
Magic: B
Luck: D
Noble Phantasm: A
s/he'd have no luck at all