Dan Vs. Heaper's Hangout

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  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Heh, I had no idea the artist was somewhat popular, checking his or her Deviant Art page, I can see why.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    I'da gone with "infamous" rather than "popular". But just from browsing fanart in the Homestuck fandom, I've become somewhat familiar with their style.
  • edited 2013-11-30 19:42:39
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Oh? Have they committed some heinous internet crime?


    I noted much of his or her stuff was on the etchi side, and honestly, some of the Dan Vs. stuff on the other page is kinda weird...

    Probably apparent that I only posted it because Pinkie Pie is on one of them.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    No heinous internet crime. Just, they draw a lot of fanart. It's well-drawn fanart. But Squidbiscuit almost constantly includes pictures of the characters with bloated stomaches and/or vomiting—it looks for all the world like a fetish of theirs. So everyone out there who doesn't share the fetish is frustrated at Squidbiscuit for not drawing normal art more often.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Not surprised in the least given that piece of fan art.

    It's a collection of really good/funny pieces minus where Dan has clearly eaten too many burgers + the one where he's accidentally drank a milk shake.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    image
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Bwahahaha.
  • edited 2013-12-03 16:14:59
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    "Dan Vs. Art" was great. I loved the "THIS IS NOT A SIGN" sign.

    Also, considering how Dan thought his method of getting a date (in "Dan Vs. the Barber") was such a sinister scheme, I wonder if it'd be possible to turn Dan into a functional member of society by tricking him into thinking that civilized behavior is part of a similarly convoluted scheme.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    "It's like the American Revolution... if it happened in France."
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    ^ That's a great line, isn't it?

    Dan Vs. Fancy Restaurant was nothing short of brilliant.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Dan's really not much of a fighter, is he? I can't recall him ever physically besting anyone without suckerpunching them. Even Chris was able to beat him.

    Makes sense. If Dan could just pummel anyone who crossed him, then he wouldn't have to be so creative with his revenge schemes.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    ^^ Love that part, I had to point it out to Friday.

    There's a handful of episodes where he succeeds via physical violence inflicted by he and he alone, but it's a very rare occurrence. 

    Certainly would make some episodes rather short, otherwise.
  • edited 2013-12-04 07:33:52
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    PLOT HOLE in "Dan Vs. Canada" Chris isn't afraid of bears, in fact he's part bear himself, but in "Dan Vs. The Family Camping Trip" Chris is suddenly afraid of bears. The show is now ruined for me, forever.

    (But seriously, I think the difference was due to Canada bringing out Chris' latent Canadian-ness. If the family trip had been in Canada rather than California, then Chris wouldn't have feared anything.)

    It's funny, I had assumed that Café Purée was razed so The Submarine could be rebuilt, yet Chris and Elise go to eat at Café Purée in "Dan Vs. Burgerphile". Is Chef Purée still alive, and he managed to find more cooks willing to work in his kitchen? Whoever's running the Café now is certainly doing a better job, considering how happy Chris and Elise were with their meal.
  • edited 2013-12-04 07:40:14
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
     Is Chef Purée still alive, and he managed to find more cooks willing to work in his kitchen? 
    That might be difficult considering it's heavily implied that he was guillotined at the end of the episode for refusing to make a sandwich for Dan, unless he came back as a zombie chef, or something (potentially possible given the zaniness of the Dan Vs.)


    I've actually considered the Canada issue thing as a possible way to resolve the exact issue you mentioned.

    The creators are definitely inconsistent when it suits them for some humor. Dan made a big deal of Chris putting on his seat-belt in Dan Vs. Traffic, but often lounges in the backseat without himself or does any number of unsafe behaviors in a vehicle.
  • edited 2013-12-04 17:51:03
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    "Hey guys, you know what I'm thankful for? Friendship."

    Another apparent inconsistency is how, in "Dan Vs. The Barber", Elise thinks Dan is finally making progress in learning to be a real human being, while Chris is suspicious of Dan. Then, in "Dan Vs. Dan", when Dan declares he is now "Biff Wellington", Chris and Elise's reactions are reversed.

    I think in this case, since Elise was burnt once by those circumstances, she's never going to trust one of his changes of heart again. While Chris wanted Biff Wellington to be real so badly that it overrode his suspicions.
  • edited 2013-12-05 02:18:49
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    So, "Dan Vs. The Family Thanksgiving" implied that Dan is Elise's cousin. I really hope that gets some more elaboration in one of episodes I haven't seen yet.

    The more I think about "Dan Vs. Dan", the more baffling it becomes. The impostor certainly had a point that Dan had made himself a vulnerable target for identity theft, but his alleged reasons for stealing Dan's life were all things that should be far easier to get without identity theft. So what was his deal? Was stealing Dan's identity the first step in a larger con? Had the impostor made powerful enemies in his prior life, and taking on a new identity was his only way to escape? Did the guy just get hit really hard by the Imp Of The Perverse, and stole Dan's identity because he could? None of those bode well for the impostor's character; Chris was rather foolish to side with him rather than Dan.
  • edited 2013-12-05 02:21:22
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    It seems like the guy goes from identity to identity when one is worn out.

    It never says why. A possible reason is he's simply racking up credit card debt and living the good life when he's not helping people then moves on before debt collectors catch up with him.

    Either that or he's just completely out of his mind pathologically and part of him enjoys ruining other people's lives by showing he could live them better. 

    I mean, it seems a small apartment, friends, and a loving pet are things he could easily attain without making enemies.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    In "Dan Vs. Ye Olde Shakespeare Dinner Theater", two of the actors' defeats are definite references to Shakespeare's plays. The guy who gets soda poured in his ear—that's the king from the play-within-the-play in Hamlet, who gets killed via poison in the ear. The guy who gets the mask glued to his head—that's the guy from A Midsummer Night's Dream who gets the head of a donkey thanks to Puck.

    So I'm wondering if the other two actor's downfalls are also Shakespeare references I missed? The guy that Elise beats up and deports, and the last actor, who Dan duels and then incites the crowd against. I also wonder if the three tech ladies are supposed to be the witches from Macbeth.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    The Monster Under The Bed looks like something Mike Mignola drew. Awesome.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    ^^ I figured the ladies pretty much had to be  based on witches the witches from Macbeth.

    Interesting call out about the other two. No I'm wondering if their defeat could be tied to a play as well.
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    MetaFour said:

    Had the impostor made powerful enemies in his prior life, and taking on a new identity was his only way to escape?

    i got the impression this was implied

    or at least that he'd done something wrong in his prior life that prevented him from just getting a fresh start under his own name
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    image

    Technaro continues to draw the stuff that makes me happy.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Someone else thought that "Dan Vs. The Wedding" was too cruel to Dan. Having watched it, I really don't see that. Cruelty is when other characters or the universe conspire to ruin the protagonist; when the protagonist ruins himself, it's ... fitting. The stuff tragedies and comedies are both made of.

    And Dan totally brought this on himself. It was foreshadowed all the way back in "Vs. Burgerphile", when Dan acted like a relocation to Santa Monica was an eternal separation (even after Chris pointed out that it's just a 20 minute drive away). And "Vs. The Wedding" makes it pretty clear that Dan had a problem telling Hortense how he actually felt. Whatever chance Dan had of a relationship with her, he sabotaged by never saying anything.

    And honestly, I don't think a long-term relationship would have worked out between Dan and Hortense anyway. Once the initial thrill wore off, Dan would have flipped out over something completely innocuous that Hortense said, scaring her away.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Bahahaha, Dan's an antinatalist now.
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    Dan did bring it on himself, but it felt cruel nonetheless

    he really did care about Hortense, and it was kind of agonizing watching him ruin whatever it was they had before

    maybe he deserved it, but i felt sorry for him all the same
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    MetaFour said:

    Bahahaha, Dan's an antinatalist now.

    image

    PRONATALISTS!
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Tachyon said:

    MetaFour said:

    Bahahaha, Dan's an antinatalist now.

    image

    PRONATALISTS!
    I am grinning so hard right now.

    Regarding Hortense, I kinda rationalized that Dan's constant schemes and plans would have eventually drove her away, and given his actions in Burgerphile, it was unlikely he'd change for her even if they tried to make a real relationship work.


  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    From now on, every time Odradek posts a sample of antinatalist writing, I'll imagine Dan reciting it.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    "I need to become... a supervillain!"

    Become?
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Judging by "Dan Vs. The Family Cruise", it felt like the showrunners had an inkling that Dan Vs. was going to be cancelled. It seemed to be aiming for that in-between spot of just enough resolution to function as an ending if it needed to—but just enough openness so the showrunners wouldn't be completely written into a corner if the series wasn't cancelled.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Between that and Summer Camp, I must agree.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    I think I mentioned this before, but the Facebook page is good for a laugh if the series is your kind of humor.

    Glad to see you gave it another go and ended up cruising through the whole thing.

    Sad that the show earning an Emmy wasn't enough to save it, but I understand the Hub ran just about everything into the ground save MLP:FiM. 
  • edited 2013-12-09 20:30:54
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    It's amusing how, in "Vs. Vegetables", the vegetarians and vegans subtly manage to miss the entire point of a veggie diet. Do they only eat veggies because it's healthier? Well, somehow they didn't notice that starving yourself is even less healthy than eating meat. Or are they morally opposed to eating animals? Because they had no problem with eating that broccoli monster—a creature that could think and speak, which is more than we can say for the average cow or chicken.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Friday made that connection as well.

    I thought it was hilariously mean spirited, even South Park would probably end something with some ham-fisted middle ground on the issue, But Dan Vs. picked a side and started lobbing hand grenades over.
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    Dan will, in fabric, probably fight whomever caused Dan vs to be canceled.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Also, a nice bit of continuity that the episode didn't draw any attention to: In season 2, Jeremiah Burger is stated to eat burgers at every meal, and he has a heart attack at the end of that very episode. In season 3, Jeremiah's Burgerphile chain is pushing a healthier menu, with fresh veggies instead of french fries. There's no way that's a coincidence. (Though there's no indication if the burgers themselves are any healthier than before. Baby steps, I suppose.)
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Huh, that's a good point. I never thought of that connection.

    Dan Vs. has some great little subtle jokes between episodes.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.

    I thought it was hilariously mean spirited, even South Park would probably end something with some ham-fisted middle ground on the issue, But Dan Vs. picked a side and started lobbing hand grenades over.
    Huh. I don't watch much South Park but that does seem to fit what little bit I have watched. I wonder how a TV-PG show on The Hub managed to care less than freaking South Park about offending people.
  • For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Remember how any seemingly-insane thing Dan says has a roughly 50% chance of being mostly correct? Remember in "Vs. The Lemonade Stand Gang" when Dan goaded Chris into destroying the first hooligan's bike, and he said that Chris was acting as the "avatar of Nemesis, Greek goddess of retribution"? I think that was one of the times he was mostly right. Dan is an avatar of Nemesis, or some other divine force of justice. That's why so many weird things cross paths with Dan, and why Dan's random, poorly-planned revenge schemes keep uncovering huge conspiracies and punishing people who are actually worse than Dan. And why Dan so rarely faces any consequences for his law-breaking—at least, not consequences that would prevent him from pulling off future revenge schemes.

    It's not perfect, but the world is so bad that Dan's flavor of justice is the best that could be hoped for.
  • edited 2013-12-11 03:05:06
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    I've thought of Dan as an avatar of vengeance before, based on a lot of the points you mentioned.

    I mean, no matter how insurmountable the ask of taking out whatever he's after, he tends to find a way somehow.

    It is pretty fascinating that he is a bit of a weirdness magnet. Obviously, the world he lives in is pretty strange, with cops having to deal with werewolves, and such, but he seems to encounter the strangeness more often than the average bloke, made apparent with Chris's initially position being skepticism most the time.
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    I love the line in Dan vs the Ninja Bout how Chris should " Stop confounding me with your STUPID LOGIC when I have a PROBLEM".

    If I was more prone to action g out, that sounds like something I would say.
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    I love the line in Dan vs the Ninja Bout how Chris should " Stop confounding me with your STUPID LOGIC when I have a PROBLEM".

    If I was more prone to action g out, that sounds like something I would say.
  • edited 2013-12-19 23:15:15
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Dan can be oddly logical when we wants, even if it seems his theory is far fetches or he can simply do away with rationality.

    This is why I love writing him, because you almost literally can't go wrong with anything he does as long as he's not running around hugging bunnies and make friends with hippies, or what have you.

  • This is why I love writing him, because you almost
    literally can't go wrong with anything he does as long as he's not
    running around hugging bunnies and make friends with hippies, or what
    have you.


    Well let's say he's doing it for revenge....then...

    anything's possible when you seek revenge
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    :iconlizardbat:

    Bloodby LizardBat

    Mature Content
    I want to cut you open, see your colours run
    I want to play I want to have a friend to have some fun 
    Don't be afraid, don't cry, just give in 
    This is the last time I'll see you again 
    So come on, relax, just sit still 
    You belong to me and you will 
    keep quiet and look me in the eye 
    Cos I wanna fuck you, wanna fuck you while you fucking die


  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Fun fact:

    Those are lyrics from a Pinkie Pie Cupcakes inspired song.
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