Odradek listens to the top 50 Conservative rock songs

Odradek

Because I felt like it.

I lean towards the left, so be warned. I'll be evaluating each song by how much I like them and how conservative they actually seem to me. Note that I have terrible taste in music, so be warned of that too.

The list is here:http://www.nationalreview.com/articles/217737/rockin-right/john-j-miller

#50: Stand By Your Man by Tammy Wynette.

Is it good?: Eh. I'm not a fan of the genre. Like, at all, so I can't really be a good judge.

Is it Conservative?:Well I guess it promotes traditional standards of love and relationships. I mean, it doesn't really specify what things might tempt you to NOT stand by your man, so I can't say whether I find it offensive or not. Apparently it's on here because Hilary Clinton bashed it

#49: Abortion by Kid Rock

Is it good?: Well, I get the feeling that Kid Rock is one of those artists I'm supposed to hate, but it doesn't really offend my ears. I mean, I grew up listening to Nickelback on the radio, this specific breed of really white rock music doesn't affect me like it does some people. Some of the lyrics are kinda weird. "We are part of the second coming of Christ, it's God himself in a jar"?

Is it Conservative: Apparently if you get an abortion, you're maybe kind of killing the second coming of Christ so, I guess? It seems to think that abortion is bad at any rate.

And now I'll take a break until I feel like starting again.

Justice4243

I'm with you on #50, it's not overtly conservative, and it's not like Wynette suggested you accept your man if he runs around cheating on you, or anything... 

#49 is kinda confusing, I guess if someone aborts, there's a chance they might abort the next Jesus? 

But there's also a chance the might be aborting the anti-Christ...and canonically speaking, I think Jesus just sort of shows up after that.

I guess you can argue that abortions prevent or at least possibly put off the events in Revelations, but it might be hard to claim that's a BAD thing...and one would think an Omnipotent God could sort of set things in motion in such a way that the fact that abortions are a thing wouldn't exactly hinder either the anti-Christ or the second coming from happening.

Though, some dude making a pro-life song that has some kinda confusing reasoning in it isn't anything to go nuts over.  

I wonder if this list will get wackier, we got 48 entries to go...

Corporal Forsythe

I live in the town that's considered to be the birthplace of Rock and Roll (Buddy Holly and the Crickets) and at the same time considered to be the 2nd most conservative city in America (after Provo, UT)

Hope this explains some things. Basically if it wasn't this very Southern Baptist town, there would be no Mercyful Fate

KJI

dont do it johnny

Salix Babylonika

Isn't Kid Rock pretty liberal?

I mean he spent quite a bit of time as a rapper. But maybe the country scene got to him or something.

Odradek

#48: Why Don't You Get a Job? by the Offspring

Is it good?: It's catchy, even it seems really reminiscent of Oh-Bla-Di Oh-Bla-Da by the Beatles, which I'm not sure is intentional. I'm cool with the Offspring so I didn't really come into this song with any bad will

Is it conservative?: If you maybe just listened to the chorus, you might think so, but the song is actually apparently about friends of the singer with deadbeat boyfriends and girlfriends and the advice he's giving them. I guess it might be metaphorical for society in general, but I don't get that feeling, it feels too specific to be anti-welfare in general.

#47: One by Creed.

Is it good?: It feels really Nickelbacky to me. This is not a good thing. It's really boring, too.

Is it conservative?: No, I don't get that feeling at all. It could almost be a communist anthem, really. I'm surprised the author doesn't hate this song. The lyric he quotes in support is "Society blind by color / Why hold down one to raise another / Discrimination now on both sides / Seeds of hate blossom further.” which I think is about stopping racism, which isn't a primarily Conservative ideal.

#46: Wind of Change  by Scopion

Is it good?: Well, I guess it's not terrible. It might be more effective if I was German, but as it is, it doesn't feel very emotionally grabbing to me. Kind of forgettable, really.

Is it Conservative?: It's by a German band celebrating the end of the Cold War and the fall of the Berlin Wall. I don't know if celebrating that is a primarily Conservative thing, but I don't think so. I might be wrong.

#45: Taxman, Mr Thief

Is it good?: Eh. kind of lame.

Is it Conservative?: Yeah, I guess being strongly anti-taxation is pretty Conservative. The song might or might not be referring to taxing the rich. It refers to going hungry, but only in the past tense so it might be rags-to-riches

#44: Two Sisters by the Kinks

Is it good?: It sounds  kind of discordant. Not a fan.

Is it Conservative?: It's about a woman learning to be not jealous of her sister and her relative freedom from married life and housework and then looking at her children and deciding that she's better off. So yeah, traditional gender rolls, fairly conservative.

Salix Babylonika

>The Offspring

>conservative

L-O-L

who put this list together again?

>The Kinks

>conservative

son, what

well actually I guess they would be by contemporary standards.

 traditional gender rolls

I've heard these go great with misogyny jam.

Odradek

Justice42 said:

I wonder if this list will get wackier, we got 48 entries to go...

There are some pretty silly entries later on, not gonna lie.

Super Läzuli said:

>The Offspring

>conservative

L-O-L

who put this list together again?

>The Kinks

>conservative

son, what

well actually I guess they would be by contemporary standards.

 traditional gender rolls

I've heard these go great with misogyny jam.

Well yeah, only some of these bands were actually conservative, but applying Death of the Author to it we might find that

Wait, conservatives hate Death of the Author.

Damn.

KJI

No moss grows fat on a traditional gender rolling stone

KJI

Death of the author is pretty stupid if your like "___ is an allegory for ___" 

but if you do something not retarded like "animal farm is about spain" then w/e

KJI

lol, thats p retarded. sorry

Salix Babylonika

P Retarded?

Is that like, a step above O Retarded?

Corporal Forsythe

p retarded - "pretty retarded"

Salix Babylonika

oh so basically

Obā-san

More like

Boney

Wow, that sucked.

KJI

a retarded - a retarded man named ed

b retarded - do as i say

c retarded - in the dictionary

d retarded - dont retard ed, hes fireproof

e retarded - those baby commercials for etrade, except the baby is retarded

f retarded - "f" retard, ed. hes a jerk.

g retarded - g, are u retarded?????

h retarded - hate retard ed. see f

i retarded - new apple product that makes you a retard

j retarded - dead guitarist

k retarded - k, your a retard

l retarded - spanish for retarded

m retarded - em retarded, mayte

n retarded - en you, you retarded?? see g

o retarded - o, youre retarded

p retarded - pretty retarded

q retarded- quite retarded

r retarded - really retarded

s retarded - super retarded

t retarded - totally retarded

u retarded - u retarded?: see g or n

v retarded - very retarded

w retarded - wub retarded

x retarded - eXXtra retarded

y retarded - y are u retarded

z retarded- very retarded (its french)

effortpost

Salix Babylonika

TL:DR

Jumpingzombie

Just pointing out: I don't think Stand By Your Man is supposed to be really a whole hearted endorsement of standing by your man, considering both the pathetically sad sounding song and Wynette's personal life (my mom likes her). Not that I think it's a fantabulous song. And saying the Hillary Clinton bashed it is a shitty excuse for saying it's "conservative."

Odradek

#43: Wonderful by Everclear

Is it good?: All I know is, watching the music video, the singer's soul patch pisses me off. It feels really cloying and emotionally manipulative to me.

Is it conservative?: It's from the perspective of a child who's parents are having a divorce and wishing they would stay together. This is either to show the emotional turmoil of a child facing something necessary but unpleasant or an underhanded way to get parents to stick together. Which one it is will color your interpretation of the song.

#42: Everybody's a Victim by The Proclaimers

Is it good?: It's okay. Not that great.

Is it Conservative: It's basically yelling about the spread of the kind of "nanny culture" conservatives talk about, so yeah. There's a better song that's also sort of about that, but we'll get to that one later.

#41: The Icicle Melts by the Cranberries

Is it good?: Eh, not much to say about this one. I like the singer's accent, but that's about all I have to say.

Is it Conservative?: Here's the thing: the writer of the article claims that the song is about abortion, but I'm not sure, because it talks about the mother crying and hearing about it in the paper, which isn't something you hear about the average abortion. I think it's just about a woman who had an accident and miscarried.

Justice4243

I'm familiar with #43. 

I doubt Everclear had much in the way of an agenda when they wrote it.

Imipolex G

Some of these are, well, really a stretch.

If you give 11 or 22 a bad review, though, I will be unhappies

KJI

i think theres a story about how joe strummer wept when he heard that "rock the casbah" was painted on bombs in the gulf war

Odradek

#40: Wake Up Little Suzy by the Everly Brothers

Is it good?: It has a catchy chorus but not much else. Also the fact that there's one protagonist but two singers weirds me out.

Is it Conservative: Well, the song was written in the 50s and concerns a boyfriend trying to wake his girlfriend up after a movie because they promised they'd be home by 4:00 and he doesn't want to get in trouble. I guess it's a product of the social structures of the 50s, but it's not really defending those structures or attacking them.

#39: Property Line by the Marshall Tucker Band

Is it good?: It's okay, if you like Country. Honestly none of these songs have really wowed me yet.

Is it conservative?: It's about a farmer who is very proud of his property, so I guess it's the opposite of say, "This land is your land" so I guess?

#38: I Can't Drive 55 by Sammy Hagar

Is it good?: It seems like a fun song to play in the car or to hum while driving a motorcycle or a jetski, so I'm cool with this one.

Is it Conservative?: It seems like it's about a guy who gets in trouble with the law for traffic violations. Are Conservatives adamantly against speeding tickets?

#37: The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down by The Band

Is it good?: It's pretty good, yeah. I don't think the singer's voice is that good, but the production makes it work for the most part.

Is it Conservative?: Okay, time to come out and say something: I'm not a history guy, so I don't know that much about the Civil War. I know that southern apologists like to say that the South would have freed the slaves anyway if they had one, but my grandfather is from Alabama and is proud of having ancestors who fought for the Confederacy and he doesn't think they would have which makes me suspicious. I can understand the feeling of attachment and love for the place and culture you were born in, but I do think that the culture of the Old South probably relied upon slavery and slavery was something, absolutely, horrifically, evil./end of Odradek tract

Anyway, the song is sympathetic to the South which is more of a Red State thing so I guess it's Conservative. Fun fact: The Band is Canadian. 

Corporal Forsythe

I wonder if Brown-Eyed Girl is on this list

because that is the greatest song ever made in the history of ever and should transcend even politics

Justice4243

So...is this list compiled by a conservative or a liberal?

Either way I agree, many of these are a stretch at best.

lee4hmz

What Justice said. The criteria for being "conservative" seem really, really shallow and almost strawman-like. You'd think the National Review would know better than to strawman themselves, but then, lists like this in general are typically not very well done (just look at how much crap Cracked gets on a daily basis).

Myrm: Did they provide a capsule review or justification for having each song on the list? I ask because even lists like the AOL Radio one (which bashed a lot of well-respected songs for really petty reasons, and whose entire reason for existing may well have been to bash/name-drop Jersey Shore) at least explained why each song was chosen.

Odradek

Oh yeah. If you don't want to spoil yourself by reading the list, here's the justification for each song so far.

50. “Stand By Your Man,” by Tammy Wynette.

Hillary trashed it — isn’t that enough? If you’re worried that Wynette’s original is too country, then check out the cover version by Motörhead.

49. “Abortion,” by Kid Rock.

A plaintive song sung by a man who confronts his unborn child’s abortion: “I know your brothers and your sister and your mother too / Man I wish you could see them too.”

48. “Why Don’t You Get a Job,” by The Offspring.

The lyrics aren’t exactly Shakespearean, but they’re refreshingly blunt and they capture a motive force behind welfare reform.

47. “One,” by Creed.

“Society blind by color / Why hold down one to raise another / Discrimination now on both sides / Seeds of hate blossom further.”

46. “Wind of Change,” by The Scorpions

A German hard-rock group’s optimistic power ballad about the end of the Cold War and national reunification: “The world is closing in / Did you ever think / That we could be so close, like brothers / The future’s in the air / I can feel it everywhere / Blowing with the wind of change.”

45. “Taxman, Mr. Thief,” by Cheap Trick.

An anti-tax protest song: “You work hard, you went hungry / Now the taxman is out to get you. . . . He hates you, he loves money.”

44. “Two Sisters,” by The Kinks

Why the “drudgery of being wed” is more rewarding than bohemian life.

43. “Wonderful,” by Everclear. 

A child’s take on divorce: “I don’t wanna hear you say / That I will understand someday / No, no, no, no / I don’t wanna hear you say / You both have grown in a different way / No, no, no, no / I don’t wanna meet your friends / And I don’t wanna start over again / I just want my life to be the same / Just like it used to be.”

Odradek

42. “Everybody’s a Victim,” by The Proclaimers.

Best known for their smash hit “I’m Gonna Be (500 Miles),” this Scottish band also recorded a catchy song about the problem of suspending moral judgment: “It doesn’t matter what I do / You have to say it’s all right . . . Everybody’s a victim / We’re becoming like the USA.”

41. “The Icicle Melts,” by The Cranberries.

A pro-life tune sung by Irish warbler Dolores O’Riordan: “I don’t know what’s happening to people today / When a child, he was taken away . . . ’Cause nine months is too long.”

40. “Wake Up Little Susie,” by The Everly Brothers.

A smash hit in 1957, back when high-school social pressures were rather different from what they have become: “We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot.”

39. “Property Line,” by The Marshall Tucker Band.

The secret to happiness, according to these southern-rock heavyweights, is life, liberty, and property: “Well my idea of a good time / Is walkin’ my property line / And knowin’ the mud on my boots is mine.”

38. “I Can’t Drive 55,” by Sammy Hagar.

A rocker’s objection to the nanny state. (See also Hagar’s pro-America song “VOA.”)

37. “The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down,” by The Band.

Despite its sins, the American South always has been about more than racism — this song captures its pride and tradition.

lee4hmz

Okay, so it's just as shallow and shoehorned as I figured it would be. It really does sound like he wrote the list based solely on the choruses and extrapolated the rest.

Ace Rimmer

What Justice said. The criteria for being "conservative" seem really, really shallow and almost strawman-like. You'd think the National Review
would know better than to strawman themselves, but then, lists like
this in general are typically not very well done (just look at how much
crap Cracked gets on a daily basis).

A conservative is easy to define because they are a person who hasn't taken a penny in welfare, uses private healthcare and works 50 hours a week man, whereas a liberal sits around all day making babies on government money and doesn't have a job because they believe the government will pay their way.

Jumpingzombie

Yeah, I agree the reasoning is bad. And you know, I wouldn't except there's barely reasoning. Like the author think it's sooo obvious that these are conservative, there's no argument to be made.

Heck, there other day, I read a really well informed article about "Baby, it's cold outside" and why it is not a song about date rape. I'm not totally sold, but at least the writer had the decency to made a logical argument.

lee4hmz

I think the problem is that a lot of factions are calling themselves "conservative" now, and the list is going to pains to satisfy each of them. You've got the conservationists who don't like seeing the countryside and the small towns abandoned or plowed under, the religious conservatives, the laissez-faire capitalists...not all of these groups like each other, and the first group is supported by a number of liberal causes as well. 

And apparently you're just supposed to know that all these things are "approved" somehow, like JZ said.

Salix Babylonika

A smash hit in 1957, back when high-school social pressures were rather different from what they have become: “We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot.”

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ah....goodjoke, list-writer.

Corporal Forsythe

Super Läzuli said:

A smash hit in 1957, back when high-school social pressures were rather different from what they have become: “We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot.”

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ah....goodjoke, list-writer.

This is actually true, at least for bible belt communities, and considering I live in the shiniest part of the buckle and the same town where Buddy Holly came from, it makes even more sense. Girls who got pregnant in high school were shunned and victims of the worst gossip, and girls who had a reputation for "sleeping around" just as much so. 

Salix Babylonika

I have heard such things too, but I've also heard that they're pretty much a myth.

Even if it is true, all that does is reflect the spirit of the times. Not make the song "conservative".

Boney

Corporal Forsythe said:

Super Läzuli said:

A smash hit in 1957, back when high-school social pressures were rather different from what they have become: “We fell asleep, our goose is cooked, our reputation is shot.”

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

ah....goodjoke, list-writer.

This is actually true, at least for bible belt communities, and considering I live in the shiniest part of the buckle and the same town where Buddy Holly came from, it makes even more sense. Girls who got pregnant in high school were shunned and victims of the worst gossip, and girls who had a reputation for "sleeping around" just as much so. 

I'm pretty sure that's universal.

Imipolex G

YOU SLUT!

Imipolex G

...like that.

Unknown

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Obā-san

“I Can’t Drive 55,” by Sammy Hagar.
A rocker’s objection to the nanny state.

So The Minutemen

Corporal Forsythe

Boney said:

Corporal Forsythe said:

Super Läzuli said:

I'm pretty sure that's universal.

No, not really

I'm discussing how this particular region over 50 years ago, which is mostly little towns and settlements where each one is noted for having at least four things: at least 20 miles distance between each other, a post office, a little schoolhouse, and a church. Which was most likely Baptist, but you have your Mennonite/other towns and such around the place. These little settlements had these K-12 schoolhouses until progress (and funds) allowed for the more practical busing of students the necessary distance to a regional high school. For the majority of these students, it was absolutely unheard of in those days for a girl of any age/grade in high school to get knocked up. When it did happen, it was like a leper was in everyone's midst. How this was handled was a world of difference than how it was in an urban setting, not to say it was tolerated there but it wasn't so uncommon and that a person was ostracized from a community for it. 

Nowadays it's not uncommon at all, and even in the 80's and 90's these same schools have installed nurseries for these teen mothers so they can attend class and finish their educations. In fact it's so common that hearing a 16 year old is pregnant is everyday news, and nobody cares anymore. 

So no, it's not "universal" and hasn't been for decades. 

Salix Babylonika

Imipölex G said:

YOU SLUT!

you'se a stupid ho

Imipolex G

you a stupid hoe you a you a stupid hoe

Standards have loosened up, I think. Which is OK

Odradek

36: Goverment Cheese by the Rainmakers

Is it good?: No.

Is it conservative?: Yes, very yes. It's basically whining about welfare and it's really annoying.

#35: Who'll Stop The Rain by Creedence Clearwater Revival

Is it good?: It's pretty good yeah. Out of the three CCR songs I've heard, this is the one I like the least, but it's still pretty good.

Is it conservative?: Well it is pessimistic about the power of activism to end the badness in the world, but I kind of get the sense that the band is still commited to the dream, even if they were feeling depressed and resigned about it when they wrote this song.

#34: Godzilla by Blue Oyster Cult

Is it good?: Fuckin' love Godzilla and this song. So yeah.

Is it Conservative?:

I'm pretty sure a silly song written about a movie monster originally created to protest the use of scientific discoveries like nuclear power for destructive ends is not Conservative.

#33: You Can't Always Get What You Want by the Rolling Stones

Is it good?: This song is so ingrained into my mind by my mom singing it at times that I can't judge it at all.

Is it conservative?: This is just another case of the list creator jumping on a liberal band expressing the least bit of cynicism about the cause and declaring it Conservative. There are many cases of this in the article.

Corporal Forsythe

I really don't see how any of these are conservative at all

Obā-san

Corporal Forsythe said:

I really don't see how any of these are conservative at all

Imipolex G

But I do see how "Godzilla" is a great song.

Odradek

Bumping this to remind myself to update soon.

Obā-san

Corporal Forsythe

I wonder if Sweet Home Alabama is on this list

because everyone loves Sweet Home Alabama. Even Che