Fouria G permits you to choose your own adventure (Image Heavy!)
(As with the one Idler did a while back, no serious story planned. This is just something I thought might be fun. ^_^ )
You are this Heaper.
Your head is swimming, and the glare from the luminous white surroundings is too bright. You blink a few times and manage to pull yourself to an upright position. You seem to have been sleeping on the floor, for whatever reason; specifically, a cool, white surface, emitting light, just like the walls. You have absolutely no memories of this place, nor of how you got here. Neither can you recall what you were doing before you woke up.
What do you do?
You are this Heaper.
Your head is swimming, and the glare from the luminous white surroundings is too bright. You blink a few times and manage to pull yourself to an upright position. You seem to have been sleeping on the floor, for whatever reason; specifically, a cool, white surface, emitting light, just like the walls. You have absolutely no memories of this place, nor of how you got here. Neither can you recall what you were doing before you woke up.
What do you do?
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Comments
Check my pockets for any possessions
You already have arms, moron!
Besides, you don't see any "receptacles" anywhere around here! Or anything else, for that matter!
>Check my pockets for any possessions
You check your pockets and find 2 ROYAL MAIL RUBBER BANDS and a SMALL FIGURE OF DERPY HOOVES, none of which you remember having previously. You also have 55 pence in change.
>Feel around for furniture or doorways while our eyes adjust to the light.
The walls nearest you look and feel featureless, and the room appears empty.
Overhead, you can see a strange object in the sky.
>contemplate why I resemble Homestuck fanart.
You briefly contemplate, and immediately dismiss, your possible resemblance to Homestuck fanart. You are a flesh and blood human being!
This is a very strange thought, and not one you have had before. Perhaps you are still a little groggy? You have only just woken up, after all.
>look self
You don't recognize this shirt at all. What is that strange symbol, and what could it mean? Is it a portion of road? Some kind of lopsided ladder?
>Panic
You do what any sensible human being would do under the circumstances and freak the hell out.
Your PANIC METER rises correspondingly.
Are you just panicking or are you insane? You're not really sure as you stretch one of the bands around your vast cranium.
>Muse philosophically upon the nature of man.
You are WAY too panicky right now to contemplate anything philosophically!
Coupled with the tight band around your forehead, the attempt makes your head hurt. The pain only increases your PANIC METER.
>Search this strange new world.
Desperate to find something - anything - in this featureless hell, you break into a run.
>Search out for other people.
Suddenly, you spy what look to be signs of civilization and skid to a halt.
You go through the exit, taking special care not to have sex with any trash cans as you do so. (This is admittedly a difficult error to make, but one can't be too careful.)
You emerge in... some kind of sterile lobby place. Fuck. You don't recognize this at all!
>Peek into the Trash bin.
You go back and poke your head into the trash hatch. It's very dark in there, and you can't see anything. A pungent aroma reaches your nostrils - why, that's eau de rotting-meat-and-open-sewer, you do believe.
You turn the handles cautiously. Both doors are unlocked.
>rub my chin ponderously
You give your chin a ponderous rub. Not too ponderous, though, because you're still kind of panicking here!
>try to ascertain if bacon exists in this world
Good thinking. Bacon would be the perfect thing to calm your nerves. But where will you find bacon in this unknown environment? Sausage factories have meat in them, so perhaps through this door?
>Look at the social commentary poster
Is that what this is? You're not sure who the figure on the poster is supposed to be, nor what the message is. An exhortation to abandon hope in robots, perhaps?
>Take the poster.
You take the OMINOUS POSTER and store it in your INVENTORY.
>Go to the sausage factory and retrieve a DELICIOUS sausage
You are overcome by a SUDDEN CRAVING FOR DELICIOUS SAUSAGE, surpassing even your mounting panic! You hurriedly open the door marked "Sausage Factory".
But you can't see any DELICIOUS sausage in here!
>Jump down the chute!
You return to the garbage chute and dive down it with reckless abandon!
After a short slide in the dark, you land, waist-deep, in a pool of foul-smelling sludge. You don't think you will find any DELICIOUS sausage in here! It doesn't look like an exit, either!
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
There are eight orange lights embedded in the wall. Their dim orange glow is the only source of light in this room.
>Shut down all the garbage smashers on the detention level
How can you do that without an Astromech or even a Comlink? It sure is lucky the walls aren't moving.
>Take that statue near you. It may prove useful in your quest.
It's not a statue, it's a BOBBLEHEAD OF TIM TEBOW.
You store it in your Inventory.
>Succumb to unfathomable bratwurst
You could kill for an unfathomable bratwurst right now, but you don't see one anywhere! You are so completely freaking out right now you can't even think clearly.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
You nervously attempt an extremely silly dance. It seems to help a little.
>Try pushing on one of the lights. :]
You don't have the necessary height attribute!
>Find the solution to the orange lights puzzle to open the door
You've got this room sussed. It is transparently obvious that these lights represent a puzzle of some description, without which you will surely not be able to escape from this room.
To solve a puzzle of this calibre could require some thought, but who has time for that?
>Throw a bone at the lights.
THIS IS WHAT I THINK OF YOUR PUZZLES!
>Also save a bone to defend yourself from Dianoga that might live in the sewer.
You know perfectly well that Dianoga do not exist. They are imaginary. Fake. Like a made-up friend, the way Jawas are. Nevertheless, you take the PIG FEMUR and equip it, just in case.
Behind the door under the lights, you hear a dull thud.
>Grab that tooth brush for future use on your quest.
You pick up the USED TOOTHBRUSH and gingerly place it in your Inventory.
All Inventory Slots are now occupied.
>Inspect can in back of the room.
It's an old baked beans tin, now empty apart from a greyish fur growing under the lid.
You gather up some trash and make a heap. It's a little precarious, but by standing on top of this, you can reach the lights easily.
>Grab that poster too and bundle it with your other poster.
You take the poster.
>And then after that, lick the lights! :D
You're really feeling quite hungry now, and the segmented orange lights are reminding you irresistably of citrus fruits cut in half. You give the least grimy looking one a tentative lick.
Oh God, why did you do that? That was the most disgusting thing you have ever tasted.
You have no idea how many diseases you just caught off that thing, but you guess probably a lot.
>Look up the answer on gamefaqs.
You have no way of connecting to the Internet where you are at the moment! In any case, it's not very likely that the solution to a puzzle on the wall of an underground garbage pit would be on GameFAQs.
>Attempt to turn off the top-left and top-right lights, with the stick if necessary.
There's no need to use a stick; the lights are in reach. There's no light switch in sight, so you give the lights themselves a tentative prod, causing them to depress slightly.
When you remove your hands, the lights spring back into place, and you hear a second thudding sound behind the door.
HEAPERS, or 4327377,
Attempt to ascertain what is behind door, first by placing ear against door, then by knocking on the door and quickly placing ear against it again.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis