Sredni Vashtar Reads Homestuck

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  • edited 2014-11-09 01:28:14
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    In slow motion, tied to a chair with a Stretch Armstrong doll, waiting to be tortured by the world's biggest space cadet to ever vainly attempt a pretence of mobsterdom.

    OnO
  • Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    Crime is usually committed for the most banal of reasons.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    True, but not really the point of what I was saying. It's about a style and a mentality being reflected rather than a more general idea.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    "You flip the fuck out over the fact that this is apparently a Bull Penis Cane."
  • Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.
    bull penis canes are one of those things you'd think andrew hussie made up, but nope, apparently they're real
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Everything but the moo
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    They also made whips out of them, incidentally, which ties together the various "black inches" in a slightly unsettling but hilarious fashion.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Clubs Deuce: Accidentally the most deadly member of the Midnight Crew.
  • edited 2014-11-09 05:09:12
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    I'm still awe-struck by the fact that Lord English's Cairo Overcoat is literally woven from the fabric of space-time. Or at least threaded with it, given that its basis is somewhat humbler. But then, it says something that this one is just a backup.

    Incidentally, Stitch's effigies and Die's voodoo pins are probably my favourite Felt powers/objects. Fin and Trace's shark powers are up there, too, and I really like Cans' design. And clock-punching, as it were.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    "Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty."

    This is one weird porno, brah.
  • edited 2014-11-09 05:12:55
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Portable tailor in a mausoleum full of guns and suits. How very Esquire-meets-Soldier of Fortune of you, DD.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Mmmmm, Eggs. Tasty, tasty Eggs.
  • edited 2014-11-09 05:33:11
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    "Oh No!"
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Wait, "a colossal waste of time" does occur twice later. Just not where and how I thought it did. Hmmmmm.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    So from the first sighting of a troll to the weirdly tranquil (if imp-infested) walkaround to... PEW PEW. Yeah, this Homestuck all right.

    Incidentally, I'm still curious as to the mechanics and significance of the Heir of Breath, in terms of the game's interior mythology and overall powers. One who takes custody, restores balance and preserves something makes the most sense to me, as previously noted, and on a second look, the walkaround supports this reasonably well. According to Consort myth, the Heir is supposed to come and restore order to the Breeze, free the fireflies in the sky and vanquish the Slumbering One.

    But there's also that Biblical allusion: He that troubleth his house shall inherit the wind, and the fool shall be servant to the wise of heart. Which makes a surprising amount of sense in the context of Act Six Act Six, but I digress.

    P.S. I was in the process of writing this early this morning when my computer borked. Such is life. Thank ye gods for the automatic draft saver function.
  • edited 2014-11-10 04:56:00
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Speaking of mythological roles, the way that each of the original four allocate their Fetch Modi and Kind Abstrata says something about the nature of their class and aspect: John's hammer and the Heir's "fixer" role; Dave's swords play up his protective class (as Bro's plethora of weapons befits a destroyer); Rose's avoidance of weaponising her grimoire indicates her personal challenge to use her fortune/foresight-linked powers less selfishly; and Jade's absurd game-based modi that she always seems to get right ties into her dominance Space—although what that relationship still has yet to become clear to me.

    Now, as to the Guardians...

    [Bro has already been covered—Prince of Heart, destroying those he loves, with love—but Nanna's active curatorial role in the pre-Scratch session ties into her Maid of Life status. Meanwhile Grandpa literally arms Jade, in one case with a harpoon gun eerily similar to Eridan's, and fervently instils his own brand of aspiration and wilfulness into her as a Page of Hope. And Rose's mom does indeed steal her ectobiological materials from the Void for the benefit of others.]
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Gettin' served like a dude on Butler Island.
  • edited 2014-11-10 05:50:14
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Karkat eating crow is twice as much fun when you know just how long it took him to realise that he was being a tool and just how far it set him back.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    "But he will not be drinking delicious juice, oh no. He will be choking down a world of hot piss and it will serve him right for liking all those dumbass movies unironically."
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    I forgot that Rose was the first one to chat with Terezi. That's actually a pretty important conversation.
  • We can do anything if we do it together.
    I see John just died for the first time, albeit off-screen.

    I'm gonna keep a count of how many times the main characters die, since I know that's a thing that happens in Homestuck.
  • I see John just died for the first time, albeit off-screen.


    I'm gonna keep a count of how many times the main characters die, since I know that's a thing that happens in Homestuck.
    This would be a fun drinking game if you wanted to consume an infinite supply of liquor.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Hussie is actually very technically skilled. It's hard to do intentionally bad art and nail it without first having a solid grasp of how making good art works. Likewise, iconic designs that stick in the mind tend to come from people with a lot of experience making more detailed, structurally intensive work. The Starlight Calliope and And It Don't Stop are very, *very* detailed; his later work is more visually slapdash, yes, but it is also extremely memorable and does its job superbly most of the time.

    ^^ There is a point where the doomed timelines add up and cease to actually count anymore, methinks. But before those mechanics begin to make themselves apparent, if you count the God Tier ritual and some of the crazy shit that happens in Act Five, there would be a lot of drinking going on.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    GC: YOU H4V3 NO 1D34 HOW MUCH YOU D1SGUST M3 
    GC: YOUR3 4 TOT4L D1SGR4C3 TO TH3 F13LD OF 3CTOB1OLOGY 
    GC: 1F W3 3V3R M33T 
    GC: 1M GO1NG TO CUT YOUR THRO4T 
    GC: 4ND L1ST3N TO YOU BL33D WH1L3 1 SM3LL YOU D13 

    Terezi was fucking creepy early on.

    Not that she isn't creepy later. Just in a more amiable fashion.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    The Draconian Dignitary is wearing frigging cat ears.

    Oh my god. How did I forget that. Wow.
  • edited 2014-11-11 01:55:05
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Oh, Terezi just negged John into messing up the timeline FOR SCIENCE!, and Rose is battling imps with yarn and needles, which is amazing and kind of twisted.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Poor Tavros. Will his total dearth of natural aggressive instincts ever stop being exploited?

    Let's go with no.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    I love the idea of a civilisation having moving pictures as a medium for so long that the titles just stop mattering.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Best conversations in the comic begin...

    GC: 1V3 B33N R3S34RCH1NG SOM3 OF YOUR 34RTH SO4P OP3R4S 
    TG: oh jegus fuck no 
    TG: why would that breathtaking douche remind you of me at all 
    GC: BUT H3 H4S 4 F13RY P3RSON4LITY 
    GC: SORT OF BR4SH 4ND 1MP3TUOUS 
    GC: 4ND 1N YOUR F4C3 
    GC: L1K3 F1R3 1TS3LF >:D 
    TG: now i know youre bullshitting me 
    TG: do i seem like the kind of guy whod accept a magic ring from whoopi goldberg 
    TG: to awaken some egregious homofantasy for a ripped blue dudes mammoth eco friendly bulge 
    TG: that guys an asshole and needs to be sealed in a dufflebag and whipped something ungodly with a bamboo chute 
    GC: WHOS WHOOP1 GOLDB3RG 
    TG: who cares 

    ...now
  • edited 2014-11-11 03:46:00
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    [S] Jack: Ascend.

    Hoo boy.

    I love this sequence, particularly the manic deconstruction of "I'm a Member of the Midnight Crew". I remember just how shocking it was when I first saw it, about on par with the rather grim psych-out with the alternate timeline. It also happens earlier than I remembered, not really out of left field but slamming you like a freight train.

    I also kind of forgot just how menacing Jack is in the early acts, and just how bad he gets as the story goes on. It really isn't until Act Six that he gets seriously overshadowed as a menace, but up until that point he just gets crazier.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    So Rose just woke up Dave and it's adorbs.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    And that is a direct reference to Barkley, Shut Up and Jam. Thank you, Based Huss.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”

    Maplehoof!


    :3
    Be the pony, Rose. Be the pony.
  • Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

    And that is a direct reference to Barkley, Shut Up and Jam. Thank you, Based Huss.

    CHAOS DUNK
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    "You start thrashing up stunts something uncannybrutal on your quest for 'MAD JUSTICE YO' and get this way rude municipality under control. Shit is basically flying off the hook. It's like shit wants nothing to do with that hook. The hook filed for divorce from that shit and is now seeking custody of the hook and the shit's two kids."

    Oh god.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    CD continues to be a massive dork, and thus my favourite ridiculous side character.
  • edited 2014-11-11 06:25:29
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    [S] WV?: Rise up.

    Another personal favourite, and man is it sad in retrospect. WV manages to lead a successful rebellion and arrives at the head of two armies... only to have Jack the Sovereign Slayer murder the Black King before his very eyes, with the clear intent of quashing the rebellion with brute force.

    The nice modal melody and synth arpeggi over a marching rhythm don't hurt, either. It's a bit like an 8-bit version of something from the Berserk soundtrack, which definitely fits here.
  • edited 2014-11-11 06:40:08
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    And Rose alchemises the Thorns of OglogothWoo!

    Regarding Dave's regenerating sword: [In retrospect, it's obvious that Caliborn and Caledscratch are connected, what with the magic cue ball component and the whole Lord of Time thing, not to mention the obvious Arthurian theme, but I'm still working out the precise implications of this. Caliborn is a Lord being pursued in a blood-feud by an Heir and this sword is tied to him by name and powers and supposedly may wound him... Hmmm. A backwards Mordred thing, I suppose?]
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    SORD.....
  • edited 2014-11-11 06:50:51
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Egads, Complacency of the Learned. Weirdest foreshadowing.

    Also fun: Daave scaring the imps with his weird-ass alchemisations. [Of course Rose is his sister.]
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    And the Draconian Dignitary has stolen the MEOW code right after it dawned on both Daves that alchemising it was a terrible idea.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    D'awwww!

    You all know what part I'm talking about. The part with the battleship, and the scarf.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Aaaaaand here comes the grand paradox cluster chord of screaming death. Which is to say how Bec is born.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    I like Tavros a lot more this time around. He's... sad. Seriously, does he ever catch a break?
  • Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    Nope.
  • edited 2014-11-11 09:13:43
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Wow, Act Four ends wonderfully.

    I find it interesting that Jack leaves WV alive, and only WV alive, out of all the mutineers. But then, at this point Jack is starting to get really sadistic and power-mad, as noted. (But, as Hussie noted later, there is the possibility that he holds a strange kind of respect for WV as a fellow mutineer, which would be in keeping with his seeming mobster-like code of honour.)

    ^ In hindsight, he kind of does at a few points, but those breaks caught tend to be rescinded. Or, in more than one case, he does genuinely screw himself over with his own passivity.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    The scene composition and expressions in the sequence where PM retrieves the package from Jack are truly haunting. Jack's deranged grin and casual snap I had forgotten, although they are fantastic, but PM's fury after her parcel is delivered and the devastation behind her has stayed with me.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    And... [the first trace we encounter of Jake English. Not Harley, English.] Enter mindfrag, stage right, riding a letter in green ink and longhand scrawl.
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