Sredni Vashtar Reads Homestuck

edited 2013-07-04 10:48:50 in Liveblogs
Yes, this is actually a thing that will be happening.

May all of the gods in all of the relevant pantheons have mercy upon my poor, pitiful soul.
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Comments

  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    ^_^
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    I am going to go back and read along with you.

    If either of us are able to get up to wherever the comic currently is, I will be amazed.
  • Eh, its only a weeks read, the difficulty isn't what some fans make it out to be.
  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    In 2010, the comic was like 1/3 as long as it is now I think. :p
  • Not a hybrid rabbit-skink spirit
    A week's read assumes you have nothing else to do
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    I mostly don't...
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    DO IT.
  • Reality has never been an obstacle for me before!!
    I probably could have finished it relatively quickly the first time around, but the TEXTWALLS of chatlogs tended to be somewhat offputting to me. :\
  • Ah, yes, well

    I kind of skimmed a few of the textlogs in the Alternia bit. Not initially a fan of the trolls, you see. That helped cut my time down.

    The fastest case that I can remember is AHR, who finished the thing in the same amount that I had, except almost half a year later. The speedrun was quite a marvel at the time, though the liveblogging of it was a series of brouhahas that made that week kind of unpleasant. But nevermind that.

    #whydoikeepusingthewordbrouhaha #itisastupidword
  • i skipped over some of karkat's chatlogs with his past/future self, and i also skipped a lot of openbound and went and read transcripts of it later
  • brouhaha is a fantastic word
  • brouhaha is a fantastic word

  • That's actually the only time that the thread was locked, and the only time that I was thumped (which was a "THIS IS STUPID" joke that was viewed as crass because the mod was unfamiliar with the webcomic).
  • One time Fast Eddie thumped a SBaHJ refrance (note: if I weren't using my phone right now that word would've been in Comic Sans) I made. That was very frustrating.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    So, I'm going to need to figure out when I'm going to start this...
  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    You could do it tonight while everyone is (supposedly) asleep so you can do it in peace. ^_^
  • Kexruct said:

    One time Fast Eddie thumped a SBaHJ refrance (note: if I weren't using my phone right now that word would've been in Comic Sans) I made. That was very frustrating.

    Och, let's not start another discussion about that feller...
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    ^ Which is why I was ignoring that particular strand of conversation. I would prefer to keep the past in the past here. And speaking of the future...

    I think that I might be starting tonight. You will know when I give you the high sign. Remember: When the geese fly south, always drive on the left side of the road and avoid Russian spies that speak in code.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    I initially skimmed the chat logs, but got into the comic and went back to read them. They're solid gold.
  • underwater moonlight
    The chat logs are the #1 reason I cannot read this thing
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    IT BEGINS.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    So, John Egbert. Fake arms. Captchalogue. Colonel Sassacre.

    I am most heartily amused.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    "And yet, the polished surface of your desk beckons..."

    I am barely into this thing and already I find myself weirdly endeared to it.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    Tire swings and other kinds of simple, self-constructed swings are really the best kind. Now I feel all nostalgic...
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    Hmmm. Wonder what the allocation in the Strife Specibus functions as. Seems pretty important.

    Also, that GameBro article reminded me of some of Brent DiCrescenzo's articles for Pitchfork, albeit with a frat-boy slant rather than a self-satisfied hipster one. Says something about parody and reality, I suppose...
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    First sound page! Cool!

    Nice little piano motif, there.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    ...and then the first proper animated sequence, a kind of title sequence...

    OK, that is really cool. Simple, but terribly nice.
  • edited 2013-07-07 02:39:04
    “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    And then suddenly STUFF HAPPENED.

    As in now there is an enormous layer cake in the toilet and John apparently has a McConaughey Wall.

    Might I also add that the options in the fight scene were magnificent? Ah, I have just done so. Huzzah.

    DOTESMITE!
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    And now we're having fun with data structures!

    Also flying razors. This is going to get a call-back, isn't it?
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    And finally, after the reign of cake-smeared devastation, we have SBURB. I look forward to this development...
  • If stuff stops happening, please contact your medical provider and confirm that the world still exists.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    ^^ Indeed.

    So the server that will hypothetically allow John to manipulate his own reality is most likely within his dad's car. Meanwhile, his room is now expanded and for some reason TT put a Totem Lathe there. For carving totems, I suppose.

    This comic is exceedingly strange. I liiiike it.
  • edited 2013-07-07 03:22:36
    “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    There is now a toilet filled with cake in the yard.

    Also, forgot to mention when the Strife Specibus first became useful, but that's actually a terribly clever little whatsit. I think. I'm not sure of much.

    Now John is examining the Cruxtrader. Whee, giant random alchemy equipment!
  • edited 2013-07-07 04:21:55
    “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    And now, after a brief intermission to fix the internet connection and retrieve COFFEE, your splendid host with the most SREDNI VASHTAR resumes his look at the popular form-bending web comic HOMESTUCK...

    And now I am typing in Garamond, because why not? Apparently not...?!

    OK, so now we know what that lathe carves into, but what for? Why would John need a Cruxite totem? What exactly is Cruxite? What does that Alchemiter do?
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    OK, so I was wrong: The Cruxite produces what the lathe carves. Maybe. But that matter has been pressed to the side for now by the incoming meteor.

    Shit's about to go down, y'all!
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    Oh, wait, stupid me, it's a dowel. Of course it's meant to be lathed. Why did I ever think otherwise?

    *face-palm*

    Anyway, things are happening and the elder Mr. Egbert is a strange dude. Beyond the harlequins, he just accepts the presence of his bathtub sitting in the hall.

    So it goes?
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    ACT ONE COMPLETED.

    Well, that was entertainingly odd, Wonder what significance that apple actually holds. Having heard things about what happens later in the story, I have my faint suspicions, but really, I'm completely in the dark here.

    Onward and outward...

    BEGINNING ACT TWO.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    God, this comic is fun.

    So, the random vagabond in the desert seems to be using the SBURB server/interface/whatchamacallit to contact John in a vaguely obnoxious manner... a few years in the future... because—?

    I am most intrigued.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    "WRITHE-LORD OF THE MOIST BEYONDHOOD."

    I have no idea whether or not this will turn out to be remotely important, but I find the grimoire monsters most amusing.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    Dave.

    Oh, Horrorterrors, Dave.

    TG: yeah! 
    TG: i mean damn 
    TG: like theres this scruffy little shit at my feet 
    TG: an orphan or something i dont know 
    TG: face flush on the pavement 
    TG: im like dude you listening for a stampede of buffalo or something? 
    TG: he braves a look at me then gives my shoe a little kiss and scurries the fuck off 

    I just don't know.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    A rambunctious crow, indeed.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    STOP!

    Oh dear deer dere...
  • Reality has never been an obstacle for me before!!
    Ah, Act 1...it seems like forever ago to me, even though I read it only, like, two years ago.

    I remember thinking "wow, do I actually have to remember all this exposition for the next 5 acts?"
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    I have so far found it all delightfully absurd. The fact that it serves as potentially useful exposition while being ever so amusing is but icing on the cake.

    Speaking of which, CERAMIC PORKHOLLOW would be a wonderful album title, if not a band name.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    Using a little kids' pogo ride as a stead to kill imps with a hammer and a can of shaving cream.

    Godspeed, John Egbert. Godspeed.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”

    TG: ok wait hold on why am i getting this stupid game for you 

    TG: youre the one who should be wrist deep in puppet ass 

    TT: What is the specific problem? 

    TG: the problem is i am up to my goddamn neck in fucking puppet dong 

    TT: You know you like the mannequin dick. Accept it. 

    TG: i am enrobed in chafing, wriggling god fucking damned puppet pelvis 

    TG: an obscenely long, coarse kermit cock is being dragged across my anguished face 

    TT: Let's put this into perspective. You put up with the puppet prostate because you love it. 

    TT: Also, coarse is a good word. 

    TG: you dont seem to harbor any sympathy for the fact that ive burrowed fuck deep into lively, fluffy muppet buttock 

    TG: im whirling in the terrible cyclone at the epicenter of my own personal holocaust of twitching foam noses 

    TG: its like a fucking apocalypse of perky proboscis here 

    TG: like 

    TG: the proboscalypse i guess 

    TT: Are you going to start rapping about this? 

    TG: what no 

    TG: no listen 

    TT: Prong of flesh bereft of home 

    TT: Found solace 'twixt a cleft of foam. 

    TG: no oh jesus 

    TT: Of apocalypse your thoughts eclipse 

    TT: A painted pair of parted lips 

    TT: That dare through kiss to stir the air 

    TT: That teases tufts of orange hair. 

    TT: And though faces flush in lovers' fits, 

    TT: Hands snug in plush as gloves befit. 

    TG: ok dickinson if you can shut your perfumey trap for a half second 

    TG: this is serious 

    TG: i am just saying 

    TG: if i see one more soft bulbous bottom being like 

    TG: kind of jutting out and impudent or whatever 

    TG: im gonna fly off the handle 

    TG: im gonna do some sort of acrobatic fucking PIROUETTE off the handle and win like a medal or some shit 

    TT: Then let's hope there will be a squishy derriere somewhere below the handle to break your fall.


    LEGENDARY.

    Seriously, I had to quote that whole thing because it is glorious.
  • “His thoughts were red thoughts, and his teeth were white.”
    Those newspaper clippings...

    Methinks there be some historical-dialectical chicanery afoot here.
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