The Big Book of Heapisms -- Discussion & Submissions
This discussion has been closed.
Howdy, Stranger!
It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!
Comments
okay so
the OP is now officially too long
and I'm not sure what to do to fix this.
It is unique to SEAMUS
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
5. Currency of Heaptopia
In Heaptopia, due to the splintered world government and the large number of independent powers, there is no universal currency that's accepted by everybody. However, there are a few primary currencies that are accepted by large numbers of the population, as well as a few specialty currencies that can only be used in certain places. We've compiled the primary and secondary currencies as part of this introduction guide
* Imipoints - Named after Imipolex G. Pynchon, the former Treasurer of the Interior and current Lord of the Mountains. Imipoints are the most accepted currency in Heaptopia, as they were the currency of the recently disestablished Heap Government. They can be found in chests and crates in most parts of Heaptopia. Alternatively, they can be found as monster drops while exploring (don't ask how they got there). They can be exchanged for everything from furniture to armor. They can also be used in some of the specialty shops listed below, but the price is often doubled or tripled when using Imipoints.
* Hipsterpoints - Hipsterpoints are given out daily by Idler XX and J. Zombie, former malcontents against the Heap Government. Though they didn't participate directly in the fall of the government, they are cited as models by many of the rebel leaders. Though the government has fallen and there is no longer reason for them to stay in hiding, they continue to do so to avoid being 'mainstream'. As such, hipsterpoints can only be received through extremely byzantine methods. One must find one of the hipster centers hidden across the continent, receive a 15-digit password, find a different hipster center and enter it. Alternatively, one can rob a hipster center, though this will mark you as a criminal (See Section 12). However, the rewards for your efforts are great. Hipsterpoints can be used in hipster shops, which are also hidden, to buy keys that unlock secret passageways and sidequests considered too 'mainstream' for the average player.
* Gnaw Credits - Gnaw Credits are the official currency of Loidopolis, formerly known as Southwest Heaptopia. This currency was created by Loid, the rat emperor who pulled the area together after the government collapse. Gnaw Credits are given to those who help the empire in some way, usually by contributing to the food bank that is constantly gnawed upon by the Clone Army of the Emperor, based on the Emperor himself. Since most commodities are directly given by the government to the citizens, the free market is very, very small. However, Loidopolis is home to some of the most disturbingly dangerous weapons in Heaptopia, along with excellent armor. Any PC would want Loidopolis gear before a big fight.
** NOTE: Using Gnaw Credits is the only way to get the Beartrap Launcher.
* Vanity Plates - Specialty plates from cars and ending film reels from entertainment companies. Though they are rare, they can occasionally be found while exploring areas that were damaged during the fall of the government. Famous road engineer Central Avenue will accept plates in exchange for roadway-themed gear while entertainment mogul Anonus will do the same for film reels in exchange for font-themed gear.
** NOTE: Using vanity plates is the only way to get the Road Sign Halbred, the Route 66 Shield, the Comic Sans-print Necromonium or the Arial Staff. Rumours of other methods are false and should not be trusted.
* Prose - Scraps of literature of an unsavoury sort. Only two individuals accept prose as currency: Arthur Fetchman, the traveling contraband merchant, and S.Z. Meyer, the self-proclaimed mistress of the Northern Isle and owner of a magic shop. W.D. wishes to destroy all prose while S.Z. wants to collect it all for herself. Though both will accept imipoints for most items, some high-quality items can only be bought using prose.
* Hats - These are not currency; they are worn as headgear. Ignore this bullet point.
* 8-balls - Rare items found in the deepest dungeons. Only accepted by the mysterious mistress of the Isle of Arachnia.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
As in most universes, there are figures of great power that Heaptopians pledge their fealty to. Many still obey their self-chosen shoguns despite the dissolution of all government. It’s not uncommon for new arrivals to attach themselves to one of these figures to gain some manner of protection. Even if you don’t, it’s wise to understand the three major deities.
Qwzra the Mogul:
The alien king. Qwzra was originally known as the King of Mars, but he abdicated his position and moved to New Chicago, Heaptopia to take over the Heaptopian branch of the Tribune Company. Besides his great wealth, incredible smacking powers and financial acuity, he also possesses unearthly beauty. His mere appearance can turn everyone in the vicinity bisexual. When the screaming hordes of fans and the multiple letters of those who were uncomfortable with being bi became too much for him, he retreated into his CEO office (which also houses the space elevator to the moon) and never came out. He continues to command his followers through CAPITAL GREEN LETTERS IN THE SKY, as he traditionally did on Mars, and his messenger. Many of his followers hope to gain a night with the king as a reward for their continued servitude.
His official figurehead is Anonus and his color is GREEN. He rewards followers with physical items.
Hellephant:
The eldritch pachyderm. He does not reside on Heaptopia itself, but lives beyond the moon and the pointy moon, in a place where human eyes do not dwell. He emerges on Heaptopia at random, occasionally at the behest of his favored acolyte, to remind the denizens that he exists. He often claims that he will destroy the planet, but so far, nothing has come about from that. He prefers massive shows of power rather than true destruction.
Despite his omnicidal wishes, he is greatly beloved by many Heaptopians. I assume it's because of his charisma or his grandeur, or the fiery powers that he bestows to those who please him. He distributes his messages through eldritch .
His official figurehead is Seamus the Dog-Headed and his color is BLACK. He rewards followers with fire items.
Lord Cetacea:
The blue leviathan. Though he has only recently contacted humanity, he has swum underneath the waves of Heaptopia for many millenia. In that time, he has ruled over the seas with a firm flipper, making sure that all species can survive to the best of their abilities. He only rose from the depths when there were some altercations between the blue sharks and the human fishermen. He successfully mediated the conflict, giving him a reputation of a mediator.
He comes to the surface rarely, but he usually takes the time to talk to a few of his human subjects, especially the herald who announced his coming. He always treats his subjects with the utmost respect, and rewards their fealty with artifacts from the deep.
His official figurehead is Yarrun of the Mace and his color is BLUE. He rewards followers with water items.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Found the Heap sometime in 2011 while looking for an alternative to the other megathreads, and now hosts this board for everyone.
Also, a Comic Sans-print Necronomicon is totally something I would want. Pure evil.
This amuses me far, far more than it should.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
alright.
I'll make this the submissions & discussion thread and make a new thread for the book itself.
And could it be formatted for increased readability?
I don't know what you mean by not being a regular member. You're here pretty often.
And if you have any suggestions on how to do that, sure. I'm just trying to categorize things and then alphabetize them within their categories.
And as a regular, I should prolly be on the regular members list.
Oh.
Yeah I haven't added stuff from the last couple pages yet, and I'll fix the formatting shortly.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
I'll add him.
we're apparently leaving to do some grocery shopping soon so I'm not sure I want to start adding things right this second.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
*shrug*
not much I can do about that unless you want to pin it or something.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
We'll have it listed on everyone's bookmarks. Those who don't comply will be summarily beaten until they concede.
What can possibly go wrong?
pin this thread.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
thanks