General Religion, Mythology, and occult talk

Unknown · 2012-02-04 17:52:32

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Tachyon · 2012-02-04 18:01:51

The GIFT demon.

The unwarranted self importance demon.

The vandalising Wikipedia demon.

The writing "Justin Bieber disliked this video" in a Youtube comment demon.

Viani · 2012-02-04 18:08:48

Not Seeding,

lee4hmz · 2012-02-05 01:27:14

I'm pretty sure we could map the Greek pantheon or its associated bestiaries onto the Internet pretty easily. :D

Justice4243 · 2012-02-05 01:30:21

Zeus is like all the fetishes. All of them.

Viani · 2012-02-05 01:35:21

Hades is Forever Alone, or is that Thanatos?

Justice4243 · 2012-02-05 01:50:21

Thanatos. Hades at least kidnapped himself a wife.

And well...just READ Thanatos's wiki article. He could be Forever Alone, or an emo kid.

Sisyphus would be Troll Face.

Viani · 2012-02-05 02:05:46

Eris would be....

Tachyon · 2012-02-05 02:07:47

Successful troll is successful? She did cause a major war that way.

Viani · 2012-02-05 02:09:19

I always wondered, if all Greek gods were supposed to be beautiful and flawless, how did they decide which one was the most beautifulest (wasn't there a goddess of that?)

Tachyon · 2012-02-05 02:12:42

By getting some poor sap named Paris to pick for them, and throwing a massive tantrum when he picked Aphrodite (goddess of love and beauty) over them.

Poor Hephaestus wasn't very beautiful.

Justice4243 · 2012-02-05 02:39:44

You could probably replace the Oracle of Delphi with an Advice Dog generator and no one would notice the difference...

Justice4243 · 2012-02-05 03:00:35

^^

Viani · 2012-02-05 03:28:21

The Oracle of Delphi has said:

Deficate Upon Yourself, That Will Show Them.

Idler · 2012-02-05 06:40:03

Satan buried all the fossils of the mythical ape-man in places that
can never be found in order to test darwinists' faith in his religion of
darwinism.

I can't even count the number of ways this doesn't make sense.

Justice4243 · 2012-02-05 12:55:35

Why bury them in the first place if they can never be found?

Suddenly, this comic makes more sense.

Idler · 2012-02-05 13:23:12

God spoke to Benny Hinn, and showed him that even the classic movies
that he was watching, were grieving the Spirit of Christ. My mother used
to love her classic movies, but recently threw away thousands of
dollars worth of videos because God spoke to her about it. Trust me,
that is never easy to do!

The Spirit of Christ really just likes ruining everyone's fun, doesn't he? I bet at parties, the Spirit of Christ is always the guy who sits sullenly in the corner and doesn't talk to anyone.

lee4hmz · 2012-02-05 14:15:02

The Spirit of Christ really just likes ruining everyone's fun, doesn't he? I bet at parties, the Spirit of Christ is always the guy who sits sullenly in the corner and doesn't talk to anyone.

Idler · 2012-02-06 01:04:51

What do you think Satan likes to see people do the most?

Answer : Be homosexual, masturbate, listen to black metal, not attend church.

Satan's not very ambitious, is he? Although he is a voyeur, apparently.

Justice4243 · 2012-02-06 01:06:14

So, is this Satan winning, or loosing?

Idler · 2012-02-06 01:13:52

I find it rather odd that these people seem to think that natural disasters are all God's doing, while all Satan wants us to do is jerk off to gay porn. Makes Satan look like a nice guy in comparison.

Justice4243 · 2012-02-06 01:16:22

Both hypothesis are usually rejected by anyone but the religious far right.

Satan being "King of the World" is canon, though I have no doubt many Churches argue on what THAT means.

PlutoniumFist · 2012-02-06 01:31:54

So I was like really disappointed when I found out "Lord of this World" was an actual title for Satan and not just a semi-related epithet, because I was gonna use that as a boast for a villain in my comic. I guess I can still use it, with the implication that he's more powerful than Satan or something, but I dunno...

Relatedly, making up religions is fun. I've done it twice for the comic.

Idler · 2012-02-06 01:35:09

By darwin's theory, why HAVEN't we evovled laserbeam penises?

The eternal question.

Viani · 2012-02-06 01:39:15

HAVEN is captilalized but the T is not.

It's a sign

Idler · 2012-02-06 09:25:36

Many fundamentalist Protestants believe that what Catholics venerate
as the Virgin Mary is actually a demon masquerading as Christ's mother.
Some also believe that the same demon was the goddesses of antiquity.

These people just can't stand the thought of anyone venerating an icky girl, can they?

Justice4243 · 2012-02-06 12:10:25

Probably just more they think only Christ and God should be worshiped and that what the Catholics is doing is borderline sacrilegious, regardless of whether Mary is a demon or not.

Also, I'm calling out usage of the word "many" here. This sounds pretty wacky even by Fundamentalist standards.

Unknown · 2012-02-06 12:51:19

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Justice4243 · 2012-02-06 13:50:17

I think they believe that Mary gave birth to Jesus. They just think what the Catholics are venerating is NOT Mary, but some sort of ancient demon/goddess in disguise.

Some of the hardcore fundamentalists REALLY don't like the Catholics, I'm sure they have some interesting theories about many of the Saints as well.

Unknown · 2012-02-06 14:32:08

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Idler · 2012-02-06 14:35:29

Fundies think that everything is the work of demons.

Viani · 2012-02-06 14:36:10

Fundies are essentially the same as demonologists, except they have cognitive dissonance instead of fangirl WMG syndrome.

Justice4243 · 2012-02-06 15:58:51

"Allah is not God because the Islamic interpretation of God isn't exactly the same as ours."

Pretty much yeah. It used to be MANY of the Churches where like this, but the Catholics and most of the Mainline Protestants as far as I know got over it and are a bit more buddy-buddy with each-other.

The fundamental movement started partially because some groups disagreed with the "softer" direction the other Protestant groups where heading. So, you see a great deal of this reactionary stuff off them.

Many of the larger Fundamentalist groups are starting to soften their views, too, however. They're basically not getting any new members so their numbers are quite literally dying off.

Idler · 2012-02-07 08:05:50

Did you know that a Harry Potter theme park is being built? Yes, we are in the end times.

Sometimes I get the feeling that these people just tack the words "yes, we are in the end times" onto the end of everything they ever say.

Unknown · 2012-02-07 09:28:51

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Idler · 2012-02-07 09:33:40

It baffles me that we've managed to go to the moon and invent the Internet, yet there are still people in modern western society who believe that magic is even real.

Ace Rimmer · 2012-02-07 09:41:23

What I think when I read FSTDT

Unknown · 2012-02-07 09:48:35

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Viani · 2012-02-07 16:33:04

Why is anyone reading FSTDT?

Ever?

Justice4243 · 2012-02-07 21:56:58

So, Aleister Crowley is a really interesting figure.

Sometimes he seemed revolutionary, sometimes he seemed a product of his times, and a lot of the times, it's hard to figure out if he's trolling his audience or not.

Dude actually named his daughter "Lilith"... amongst other things...Nuit Ma Ahathoor Hecate Sappho Jezebel Lilith

Viani · 2012-02-07 21:57:23

I'd name my Daughter Lilith...IF I HAD ONE

Justice4243 · 2012-02-07 22:05:11

STEAL ONE!

But not mine, she already has a cool name and I'm rather attached to her.

Viani · 2012-02-07 22:08:07

Wouldn't steal your daughter anyway shes just TOO KYEWTTTTT

But then again, acquiring a babby would mean I would have responsibilities...so no thank you for now.

And now I am reminded of all of the extremely open ended stories about Lamia.

Justice4243 · 2012-02-07 22:13:08

My brain went strait to "Life with Monster Girls" on that last sentence...

Viani · 2012-02-07 22:16:04

I remember that comic.

But either way, I still don't know if she was supposed to be sympathetic or not. The Greek (?) legend states that she was turned into a monster, had all of her children killed and subjected to horrible things, so she goes around killing and eating children.

Justice4243 · 2012-02-07 22:23:43

I think she was turned for the crime of being attractive to Zeus (Hera is a bitch).

Hera also murdered her children (see above).

But yeah, her murder spree is totally her thing now.

Zeus seemed to respond to all this by taking some pity in giving her the ability to remove her eyes so she wouldn't be constantly haunted by images of dead children. Because that's how a Greek God-King takes responsibility.

Viani · 2012-02-07 22:26:57

That's really sad, and super-messed up. Does she always kill children or just attempt to steal them?

Justice4243 · 2012-02-07 22:28:45

I think she just eats them out of jealousy, cause you know...eating children is a super healthy way to work out your grief.

It's a wonder the people of Ancient Greece managed to do anything but just scream and scream about how fucked up their pantheon was.

Viani · 2012-02-07 22:30:07

I could understand how so many of them can suddenly jump into christianity and how superfun and happy it was before the one-million rewrites.

I mean, the Christianity goal is more personal, since so many bad things happen to people whenever they get involved with the Gods in the Greek Mythos.

I mean, I don't think Jesus or God had any Lamia, Gorgon, and other variants roaming free killing children and what not, and the main stream one is just a fallen angel.

ProfessorGator · 2012-02-07 22:30:21

That makes me think of Poseidon and the sea monsters he occasionally sent out. He didn't take very good care of his pets, did he? They usually ended up getting skewered or petrified by great heroes. I feel strangely sorry for Cetus.

General Religion, Mythology, and occult talk

Comments

Howdy, Stranger!

Categories