General Religion, Mythology, and occult talk

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  • That's bullshit.

    We all know Jesus is a soda man.

  • edited 2012-07-04 03:35:22
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Unless the only wine he can turn water into is Sutter Home white zinfandel, or some such, I doubt there's much to debate over his beverage of choice... 
  • So hey 

    I found this old article from 1997. It trips my bullshit alarm, but it's a very interesting read regardless.

  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Interesting. Sounds like someone's Divine/Demonic themed RPG setting.
  • Indeed.

    I wrote a rap about it because I will literally write lyrics for any reason whatsoever.

  • edited 2012-07-09 23:53:38

    image


    Shame this isn't legit. (*The first 2 are, the rest of the exchange is shopped*)
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Fake, sadly.

    Hilarious, still.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Whether dogs go to heaven has been a point of contention in my family.

    Dad's position used to be "NO!" until we had a dog that he liked die. Then he changed his mind. Flip-flopper.
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  • I had an interesting position on this as a kid.

    I thought that any animal that was loved would go to heaven, but then I felt bad for all the animals that weren't pets. So I decided to love all animals.

    Except bugs, because five years old.

  • edited 2012-07-10 00:10:29
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    The Bible and Qur'an seem to imply that animals have no immortal spirit (as opposed to humans).

    They do have a "soul" (unless I flipped terms).

    Still, the general consensus (even among Church and religious officials) seems to be if one needs a beloved pet to be happy in the afterlife, it will be provided.
  • Heaven's gonna be croooooooowded when I get there, then.
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  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Not consistent with Church canon, but related:

    image
  • Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.
    Considering the Almighty not only created the world and oceans and the mountains and the trees and birds and the bees, also considering he's the one behind cosmic strings and the gravitationally lensed galaxies at the very deepest red-shifted end of the the Hubble Deep field, that I would not question whether or not how he goes about admitting who or what into the balmier side of the afterlife other than the standard instructions the Bible provides
  • Is that even covered in the Bible?

    I don't recall it off the top of my head, but it's been a while.

  • edited 2012-07-10 00:20:50
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  • Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.
    Yes, several times in the four Gospels
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis

    Is that even covered in the Bible?

    I don't recall it off the top of my head, but it's been a while.

    If animals get in? It may not be explicit, but theologians and Church officials pretty much agree that Animals don't automatically get into Heaven. 
  • IC

    Not a Christian myself though so I suppose it's sorta irrelevant on my end.

    I spent most of the time reading Revelation anyway, I was *that* kid.

  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Lumine said:

    If God does not canonically like dogs I will be upset. :'[

    The Bible is pretty positive regarding most animals (except, maybe snakes, for obvious reasons). Heaven is just understood to be about people, not every living thing.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Revelation was by far my favorite book of the Bible. Read it many a time
  • edited 2012-07-10 00:26:33
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  • I remember a specific exchange I had with a teacher regarding part of Revelation very well. Specifically the part where John informs us that the thunder told him something, but also told him to not write it down.

    Me: *sighs loudly*
    Teacher: "what's the matter?"
    Me: "He won't say what the thunder said!"
    Teacher: "Well, it's a sec-"
    Me: "It's annoying."

    I think I might've gotten detention for that, actually.

  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Genesis and Revelation are the best because they have the most weirdest stuff.

    ...great description, self.
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  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    You guys should look into the Apocrypha and  Kabbalah texts.

    Enoch and the Zohar have tons of strange, mystical stuff.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I did read Enoch at one point. Pretty strange too.
  • My grandmother got me a copy of Enoch for my birthday once.

    Mother was not happy and confiscated it shortly thereafter.

  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    All that Watchers business. Kind of creeped me out a little, for some reason.
  • edited 2012-07-10 00:36:42
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  • Assorted reasons.

    Mostly, they're not considered authentic (that is, they don't date from the time period that matches up to the lives of the people they claim to have been written by). Other times it's more esoteric reasons, but that's the majority of them.

  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis

    My grandmother got me a copy of Enoch for my birthday once.

    Mother was not happy and confiscated it shortly thereafter.

    That seems a bit extreme, it's not canonical (for most sects anyways), but I wouldn't call it heretical by most standards.

    Does your Grandmother belong to either the  Ethiopian Orthodox Church or Eritrean Orthodox Church, and therefore, your mother perceived it as a subtle attempt to convert you?
  • My grandmother's a Wiccan, actually.

    She only got it for me cuz I asked for it.

    My mother on the other hand is (or was, at the time, she's mellowed out a bit recently) a very hardline Catholic.

  • edited 2012-07-10 00:46:16
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  • edited 2012-07-10 00:48:26
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Huh...strange. 

    Considering that a lot of the Catholic doctrine regarding the Arch-Angels are at least influenced by the writings of The Book of Enoch, I'm surprised she wouldn't want you to read it.
  • Lumine said:

    I once desired to be Wiccan, but I suppose we can say the same for being Satanic, Buddhist, and Jewish. ^_^

     
    If nothing else, the branch of Wiccanism my grandmother practices (I don't recall the sect's name, but Silver RavenWolf's people) is certainly pretty cool.

    Justice42 said:

    Huh...strange. 


    Considering that a lot of the Catholic doctrine regarding the Arch-Angels are at least influenced by the writings of The Book of Enoch, I'm surprised she wouldn't want you to read it.



    My mom's....odd.

    She's the kind of person who thinks the Pope should be more Catholic. She's "technically" an Old Catholic, but I'm not honestly sure what the distinction is, aside from the aforementioned hardline-ness.

  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    Souls, spirits, and animals:

    The historic teaching is that the spirit or "rational soul" that survives after human death is the uniquely human part of us. What's usually missed when people try to debate this is how much the Bible has to say about the life after the afterlife. When death dies, it's not just those disembodied minds getting their bodies back: Earth is regenerated and there's a perfect animal kingdom, the lion will lie down with the lamb, and so on. Are the animals we're told will be in the world to come are the same ones that lived and died before? That's beyond me.
  • Gryphon said:

    Are the animals we're told will be in the world to come are the same ones that lived and died before?




    They're replicants.


  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    :P

    On a silly note, has anyone considered how religious fantasy RPGs would get if you insisted on using all mythic monsters accurately?

    "You encounter a prophet on the Buraq. Do you confess that there's no god but God?"

    "You encounter a beast with seven lion heads. Do you choose to die rather than submit to it?"
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  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Certainly the major races and enemy monsters are often taken strait out of some mythology or another. Though, I can't think of anyone incorporating THE beast into a source book,

    Perhaps because he's kinda a big deal.
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  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I remember I was kinda disappointed you didn't fight Satan at the end of Doom.

    Although the Cyberdemon was cool.
  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    "Certainly the major races and enemy monsters are often taken strait out of some mythology or another."

    Yes, but what if they were used accurately? Like if the Buraq could only be ridden by a prophet of the one God, rather than being a mix of ideas from the Islamic source, Hellenic ones (Elysium?) and D&Disms?
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Or the one true prophet of a very particular god, which would at least keep to the concept.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Speaking of D&D, here's their take on Tiamat a la Genzoman:

    image

    Yeesh, she will eat your face five times over.

    GURPS goes with something a bit closer to the source material. She only has one head, but she's invulnerable (unless you hit her heart), super-strong, immortal, and a master spell caster.

    This is why Marduk had to force her mouth open and shoot an arrow through it directly into her heart. Hmmm...as the mother of all creation, Marduk was technically her great, great, great, great grandson, or some such....


    OF COURSE!



    Bon Jovi was singing about Tiamat and Marduk! 


    I love how Chrome recognizes "Marduk" as a word, but not "Tiamat", "Bon", or "Jovi".
  • But D&D Tiamat has nothing in common with the entity she shares her name with?
  • "It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
    I was very anxious last night, and prayed hesychasm (a psychosomatic technique of repeating the Jesus Prayer with eyes and ears shut) for the first time. It's definitely a different experience than, say, the Our Father. It produces calming stillness rather than meditation on the phrases confessed.
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