You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
That was probably one of the weaker stories from this comic so far
Also why is Alice leaning so far out that window? It's an accident waiting to happen
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Why did Alice's parents name her Alice and give her the Alice dress if they didn't want her to...y'know, be Alice?
If the slinking figure doesn't turn out to be a man named Crime Smasher, I will be disappointed.
For a second I was confused because I thought the other guys were criminals and we just missed the scene of police breaking the fight up. But it turns out they were cops and somehow the criminal got away anyway because they forgot to turn on flashlights or something.
JEEPERS!
Their only clue is that the killer has a fetish for girls who sound like Bugs Bunny.
She takes "Live fast, die young, leave a pretty corpse" VERY seriously mr. murderer.
Good job Sally! You're already more competent than Space Detective
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Myra turned out to be a bad guy, so it's totally OK that the other dude punched her in the face in the beginning
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
The part with the traffic stop was kind of funny, if you think about it
He willingly pulled over, despite having a murder suspect in the car, and only once he let the cop get a good look at said murder suspect did he think to make a run for it
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Also, it's nice that they at least bothered to establish that the package chute existed ahead of time, instead of just pulling it out as a deus ex machina at the last minute.
I admire Billy's commitment to his job, but this really deserves at least a newsreel or photographed newspaper article, not a radio recording.
Clarence the Maniac Man was the name I wrestled under back in my backyard wrestling days.
Lovelia is weirdly chill about a giant gigantopithecus looking motherfucker threatening to murder everyone if she doesn't bang him.
You know, I admire the creativity and humor of this action scene, considered how many boring ones I've seen with super strong golden age superheroes at this point.
Don't manhandle Aliroz's great-grandad like that, Captain Marvel.
So two questions:
1: Why were there prehistoric earth animals on venus plus a Gorillion?
2: Was Sivana actually doing anything illegal here? Clarence let the animals out.
The narration in this story is a bit overbearing, but it's basically forgivable to me, since it kinda gives off the vibe of picture book storytelling, as opposed to the obnoxious nature of narration in some other stories in this thread.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
I love how this story ends with the hero bragging about his own accomplishments in the news media
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Alright! Golden Arrow! I have no idea what his deal is and I refuse to look it up. Because he has a bow and rides bareback, I assume it's some deeply problematic thing involving Native Americans
Hehehehehe "Bronk Braddock"
Oh shit he's a tracker. My worry about that backstory has increased
Can horses swim? I also don't feel like looking that up.
Wal! Put me to soak!
Caramba! Was this written by a markov chain?
Well that was boring and not worth the wait. What's next time?
The hero was originally Roger Parsons, the son of inventor Paul Parsons, who had developed a new type of gas for transportation by balloon. A greedy competitor, Brand Braddock, plotted to stop Mr. Parsons, and did so by shooting down a balloon Parsons was using to test the formula. Mr. Parsons, his wife Gloria, and his son Roger were all aboard the balloon. The two adults died when the balloon crashed in a sparsely populated area of the Western United States, while the baby miraculously survived.[1]
An old prospector named Nugget Ned raised the child as his own, teaching him to fend for himself and developing the boy into a skilled archer. On his deathbed, the old man told the now-grown boy of his origins, and the young man, calling himself "Golden Arrow", set out, with the help of his stallion White Wind, to avenge his father and right other wrongs throughout the West[1]
Although the comic appeared to be set in the Old West, in Whiz Comics #43 Golden Arrow had an adventure with Captain Marvel and Spy Smasher, which would indicate that the setting was actually contemporary.
So, is Golden Arrow actually deputized or something? Because it's literally just his word against Brute and Bronk's that they implicated themselves by trying to meet up with the racist Mexican stereotype.
I can't believe School of Seven Bells wrote a song about Golden Arrow's horse.
Coming in media res in a story that presumably had earlier chapters in early issues! But as it is, I don't know who Lance O'Casey is, or why he's shipwrecked, or why he's friends with a monkey and an expirate named Dan'l Doom, or why he's competent enough to build a boat but not enough to tie it
What they don't show you is the five times they missed the boat and had to pull Mister Hogan's drowning monkey body back to shore
MAN these comics get racist suddenly
She's so mad about her father, she's turning red
I was all like "Oh fun pirate adventure, this will be good" but then racism, all of a sudden without warning
Her dad looks like that one stripper dude from Boogie Nights
And so they sail off, to find a less racist story to be in
What the heck was Dan'l Doom's accent even supposed to be? Is he an Appalachian hillbilly pirate?
I'm skeptical of the plan to construct a ship out of the dead skeletons of other ships that failed to reach their destinations, but I guess that's why I'm not a lantern-jawed adventurer.
"But you won't need a bodyguard at a place like that."
Either that bodyguard is terminally stupid, or he's actually a double agent working for The Mask. (In which case he's still stupid, because he could have just murdered the old guy in his own house.)
Dude you found out the Chinese Wax Exhibit is petrifying people, you have enough to arrest on now
Even by the standards of golden age comics, that "you are now immune to poison" thing is p. silly
Were people back then just unable to tell stories that didn't have racist shit in them? How many diabolical chinamen and savage tribesmen do you REALLY NEED?
It's a sad story when racism is the most interesting thing
Some boring dude with an anglo-saxon last name and possibly an interesting first name and his lady companion go solve some crime that involves the lady pretending to get kidnapped
Comments
Also: This is what Donald Trump actually believes causes climate change.
Well that was some nothing.
I forgot
Don't manhandle Aliroz's great-grandad like that, Captain Marvel.
Well that was boring and not worth the wait. What's next time?
The hero was originally Roger Parsons, the son of inventor Paul Parsons, who had developed a new type of gas for transportation by balloon. A greedy competitor, Brand Braddock, plotted to stop Mr. Parsons, and did so by shooting down a balloon Parsons was using to test the formula. Mr. Parsons, his wife Gloria, and his son Roger were all aboard the balloon. The two adults died when the balloon crashed in a sparsely populated area of the Western United States, while the baby miraculously survived.[1]
An old prospector named Nugget Ned raised the child as his own, teaching him to fend for himself and developing the boy into a skilled archer. On his deathbed, the old man told the now-grown boy of his origins, and the young man, calling himself "Golden Arrow", set out, with the help of his stallion White Wind, to avenge his father and right other wrongs throughout the West[1]
Although the comic appeared to be set in the Old West, in Whiz Comics #43 Golden Arrow had an adventure with Captain Marvel and Spy Smasher, which would indicate that the setting was actually contemporary.
also wow what the fuck is that backstory?
also also, i love the complete lack of real action on the bridge page
also spy smasher is the american name for SMERSH
Next time:
Some boring dude with an anglo-saxon last name and possibly an interesting first name and his lady companion go solve some crime that involves the lady pretending to get kidnapped
christ, even in opium smugglers of venus the chick gets kidnapped