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Christmas Song Rankings 2017

AlduinAlduin
in General Media
Sweet 

Good King Wenceslas
The Little Drummer Boy
Silent Night

Funny 

Santa Baby
I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus

OK

Feliz Navidad 

Ugh 

All I Want For Christmas Is You
Grandma Got Run Over By A Raindeer

Can We Stop Having This Tiresome Debate About Whether This Song Promotes Rape Please This Is Worse For The Holiday's Image Than Mall Santas 

Baby It's Cold Outside
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Comments

  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I would gladly take either of your "ugh" entries over I Saw Mommy etc.
  • AlduinAlduin
    See, the subtext there was supposed to be the kid's dad dressed as Santa

    But when I was a kid I took it as Santa cuckolding the kid's dad
  • glennmagusharveyglennmagusharvey
    edited 2017-11-29 17:16:33
    [tangential]

    when i was a kid i had no idea what "cuckolding" was

    in fact it didn't even much register as a thing to me until recent years when people started using the term

    i still think it's a silly thing, doubly so plus obnoxiousness in its short form "cuck"
  • CrystalCrystal
    Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Same, I'd rather not see it, particularly given the types of people that typically use it.

    Anyway all of those songs are bad, so.
  • AlduinAlduin
    New tier: UGH. Note the all caps.

    First entry in UGH tier: Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    that one's ok
  • Sredni VashtarSredni Vashtar
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    I like that song and "All I Want for Christmas is You". You are completely right about "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer" being baleful, though.

    Thoughts on "Adeste Fidelis" and "O Tannenbaum"?
  • Salix BabylonikaSalix Babylonika
    https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg
    there is only one good Christmas song


  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Jane said:

    there is only one good Christmas song


  • Section42LSection42L
    We can do anything if we do it together.
  • AlirozAliroz
    ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    If I ever express any negative sentiment towards Feliz Navidad, assume either that I have been replaced by an impostor or that it's opposite day.
  • EpitomeEpitome
    meow meow meowtherfuckers
    Good
    Carol of the Bells
    Bad
    Everything Else
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I thought you would like "The First Noel"
  • EpitomeEpitome
    meow meow meowtherfuckers
    😒

    😒

    😒

  • AnonusAnonus
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    christmas must be annoying
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Epitome said:

    Good

    Carol of the Bells
    Bad
    Everything Else
    What about schedryk
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Somehow the overlap makes this even funnier

    image
  • EpitomeEpitome
    meow meow meowtherfuckers
    Odradek said:

    Epitome said:

    Good

    Carol of the Bells
    Bad
    Everything Else
    What about schedryk
    *googles*

    you think you're real funny don't you, buddy. god damn it. god DAMN i
  • TatterhoodTatterhood
    Epitome said:

    Good

    Carol of the Bells
    Bad
    Everything Else
    I think carol of the bells is probably an okay song but I am incapable of not associating it with that stupid burger king song
  • FossilmaidenFossilmaiden
    image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
  • TreTre
    image
    Shit Tier: Wonderful Christmastime

    I know, McCartney, but fuck, I don’t care if Shakespeare himself came back from the dead to write that song, it would STILL be terrible
  • vtkvtk
    embrace the confusion
    Every Beach Boys Christmas song has dumb lyrics.

    Springsteen's Santa Claus Is Coming To Town needs to die in a fire.

    Whenever I listen to Christmas music (and am in control of the playlist) I have to start with Mannheim Steamroller's Deck The Halls.
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    I just don't know why he's the "little" saint nick
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Anyway this is the worst



    The way he pronounces that awkward second "down" is nails on a chalkboard to me
  • Imipolex GImipolex G
    Touch the cow. Do it now.


    here's another good one
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Epitome said:

    😒

    😒

    😒


  • FossilmaidenFossilmaiden
    image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
    where is last christmas on the rankings
  • Section42LSection42L
    We can do anything if we do it together.
  • AlirozAliroz
    ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    There is no iteration of Santa Baby that is preferable to the sound of four crying babies and three vacuum cleaners.
  • MetaFourMetaFour
    For once, or maybe twice, I was in my prime.
    Q. What do Ella Fitzgerald and Sufjan Stevens have in common?

    A. They're the only musicians to record listenable versions of "Sleigh Ride".
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    The Eartha Kitt version of Santa Baby is good because you can pretend it’s part of an evil plan by 1960s TV Catwoman
  • HexartesHexartes
    I like Christmas music on the whole but I'd be hard pressed to find a single Christmas song I actually like.

    I had a weird prejudice against Feliz Navidad as a child because he keeps saying he *wants* to wish you a merry Christmas but never actually does and I have never been able to resolve the building tension that this creates.
  • Obā-sanObā-san

    all christmas songs where the vocalist expresses a lust for santa are unforgivable
  • vtkvtk
    embrace the confusion
    Fossilmaiden said:

    where is last christmas on the rankings

    By Wam is respectable. By Glee is a soulless abomination.
  • FossilmaidenFossilmaiden
    image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
    Obā-san said:

    all christmas songs where the vocalist expresses a lust for santa are unforgivable

    callout post for @crystal
  • CrystalCrystal
    Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    excuse you, this is only santa alter :I

    or is it just like any santa at all
  • FossilmaidenFossilmaiden
    image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
    santa alter is santa, therefore
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Obā-san said:

    all christmas songs where the vocalist expresses a lust for santa are unforgivable

    excuse you
  • HexartesHexartes
    Central Avenue said:

    Obā-san said:

    all christmas songs where the vocalist expresses a lust for santa are unforgivable

    excuse you
    No, no, no, fuck off, don't try to act like Santa lust is reasonable, fucking, stop, stop right there, not another fucking word, I'm not gonna fucking kinkshame here, alright? but fucking don't take another, damn, don't take another step in that direction, don't pretend for a moment that Naney is being the weird one here
  • HexartesHexartes
    buncha damn. Weirdos. Fucking weirdos here.
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Hexartes, you've been on this website almost since it started. Don't tell me that "Central Avenue wants to get it on with Santa Claus" is somehow new information to you after all these years.
  • CrystalCrystal
    Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Fossilmaiden said:

    santa alter is santa, therefore

    Thirsts hardcore
  • HexartesHexartes
    Central Avenue said:

    Hexartes, you've been on this website almost since it started. Don't tell me that "Central Avenue wants to get it on with Santa Claus" is somehow new information to you after all these years.

    Look I've been prepped for your brand of weird shit just

    Square with the fact that it's weird dammit, don't burden other people with trying to make it normal
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Somehow this thread managed to go in an even weirder direction than it already had, and I think that's my fault.
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Hexartes said:

    I like Christmas music on the whole but I'd be hard pressed to find a single Christmas song I actually like.

    I had a weird prejudice against Feliz Navidad as a child because he keeps saying he *wants* to wish you a merry Christmas but never actually does and I have never been able to resolve the building tension that this creates.

    He does: He just does it in his language by saying "Feliz Navidad"

    Prospero Ano y felicidad
  • OdradekOdradek
    My dreams exceed my real life
    Hexartes said:

    Central Avenue said:

    Obā-san said:

    all christmas songs where the vocalist expresses a lust for santa are unforgivable

    excuse you
    No, no, no, fuck off, don't try to act like Santa lust is reasonable, fucking, stop, stop right there, not another fucking word, I'm not gonna fucking kinkshame here, alright? but fucking don't take another, damn, don't take another step in that direction, don't pretend for a moment that Naney is being the weird one here
    250
  • FossilmaidenFossilmaiden
    image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
    image
  • CrystalCrystal
    Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Thirsts
  • Princess AlicePrincess Alice
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Getting back on topic: Who decided we needed COVERS of "All I Want For Christmas Is You"?? The original is perfect just the way it is!
  • CrystalCrystal
    Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Okay sure but: Santa Alter.
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