i knew someone who did this in 7th and 8th grade.we were not good friends, but were in the same circles and ran into each other a lot. he lied about literally everything. he said he had versions of programs that didn’t exist yet. he listed celebrities he had made out with at disneyland. he said he had ordered lobster at a del taco once. he said it all with a straight face, never breaking character; he was not kidding. he wanted everyone to believe it.
my favorite story of all about him: i had gotten a game installation disk from another friend, but it was a copy-protected game that made you look up a word from a page and paragraph of the manual. i mentioned this in passing, and he said he had it and would let me borrow it. i knew he didn’t have it. but i would still ask a couple times a week, poking fun at him. “did you bring it this time?” “no, i forgot again, sorry.”
graduation day. my last day at that school. he finds me in the crowd and says “hey — i finally got it for you. i keep my promises, man.” he presses something into my hand with pride, and walks away.
it was 4 pieces of computer paper, folded and stapled, that he had typed up. it was a fake manual. it had the name of the game wrong. inside were misspelled paragraphs about what he had guessed the game was about, and some vague directions on how to move and how to save and load files. he honestly expected i would think it was real. he committed fully to the lie.
i changed schools after that and never saw him again
are you telling me that excrement is forbidden from simultaneously being blessed by a god or gods and capable of or used in the process of fornication?
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Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead