And honestly, I'm feeling a little meh because Ally's moving and so she doesn't have Internet access, and she was feeling really bad Saturday night, so I miss her. :/
In any case, it's time for me to stop moping and get going. Later!
That's the thing, though...I think my friend is being a bit of a hypocrite. Neither of us have dated much at all; he, his wife and I were all mutual friends even before they started dating (though they weren't that close before 1999), and the only girlfriends and potential love interests I've ever had have been acquaintances or friends of friends. The "dating scene" is a wholly alien concept to us both.
And when I say "friends first", I don't meant the clingy, cornering Nice Guy shtick that will eventually land them both on Investigation Discovery or Dateline; I mean that they're not complete strangers. I'd feel really weird dating someone that wasn't at least passingly familiar with some of my quirks, but then, that may be because my life is just plain weird and I'm afraid of scaring off less-understanding people.
Squid: Yes, I know. :D Most of the time, if I liked someone it wasn't entirely out of sexual attraction anyway; "oh wow she's hot" is kind of a fleeting feeling for me, whereas "I enjoy talking to her and she's nice to hug" sticks with me a lot better.
Hmm. Because I hear all these horror stories of Nice Guys and Nice Girls being emotional vampires, and I really hope that I'm not being one, and that my friends haven't made me a mark. :/
I have been used before. A good way to tell is that they're trying to advantage of you with unfair trades, getting money from you... and never paying you back.(in any way possible)
Ah. Well, that sort of thing hasn't been happening. While I do find some of my guy friend's advice hard to take, I wouldn't consider it vampirism or blackmail; I knew someone else that did try to guilt me into having cybersex with them once, and I refused.
Yeah. That and when I read that Onion article, I can see the girl featured there cackling evilly and showing her glowing red eyes at the end, as if she were a succubus. :P That's, like, not what I want at all. She's like a grown-up version of Elmyra from Tiny Toon Adventures, not a real person. :(
I do get worried sometimes that people are out to get me, even if they aren't, and it's usually because I'm worried about someone or just upset in general and want some solace.
Yeah, my first girlfriend could be a little manipulative, but we were also each other's first loves, we both had incredibly high standards, and we both had a hard time compromising or negotiating. When the relationship wasn't fun anymore, it ended pretty quickly; we just weren't good enough friends to make it work, and we annoyed each other a lot.
But that was also in 1998, 14 years ago, and I figure I could definitely do better now. If only I didn't get so worried sometimes.
(I know I need to stop bringing up my past and apologizing for it so much, but for things romantic, it's the only frame of reference I have. My first girlfriend is also my only girlfriend -- between 1998 and now, I've liked several people, but I either ended up obsessing about them unhealthily and ruining whatever friendship we had, or we weren't very close.)
Yeah. I do this a lot...I slip into my past and dwell on things I can't change, instead of talking about the real reason I'm upset, probably because I consider the real reason creepy or embarrassing. Which is why I've been told not to do it.
In any case, the real reasons are that I didn't get enough sleep last night, my guy friend's advice upset me, and Ally is incommunicado and while I'm sure she's OK, I'm a bit anxious about her.
Irene: Thanks. :) Also, it's cold and rainy here, so snuggling under a nice warm blanket with my favorite pillow and perhaps a nice cup of tea would be good. Once I get home, anyway.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
I feel burned out.
Thankfully this is week 5 of the 10-week quarter, so I'm almost like halfway done!
Whitehouse specialise in what they call "extreme electronic music". They are known for their controversial lyrics and imagery, which portray sadistic sex, misogyny, serial murder, eating disorders, child abuse, and other forms of violence and abjection.
Wind: Of course. Seems UK indie artists like to make fun of her as much as, well, just about everyone that isn't in their core constituency like to make fun of the Parents' Television Council here.
Comments
And when I say "friends first", I don't meant the clingy, cornering Nice Guy shtick that will eventually land them both on Investigation Discovery or Dateline; I mean that they're not complete strangers. I'd feel really weird dating someone that wasn't at least passingly familiar with some of my quirks, but then, that may be because my life is just plain weird and I'm afraid of scaring off less-understanding people.
yay shallow
(I know I need to stop bringing up my past and apologizing for it so much, but for things romantic, it's the only frame of reference I have. My first girlfriend is also my only girlfriend -- between 1998 and now, I've liked several people, but I either ended up obsessing about them unhealthily and ruining whatever friendship we had, or we weren't very close.)
I love this album!
...Is this a bad time?
Thankfully this is week 5 of the 10-week quarter, so I'm almost like halfway done!
*Disappears to do stuff! And things!*
G.G. ALLIN!
bye bye magi
derp
hi kex