The Trash Heap of the Heapers' Hangout

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Comments

  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”

    Like this got really bad really quick and it's giving me sad whiplash

    Honestly, you were fine. I don't like how you initiated this conversation but you were mostly fair and civil, all things considered.
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    :(
  • edited 2016-03-07 05:58:58
    @Jane: Yeah, I wanted to say that in the non-public musings thread but was too tired to do that. There are better ways of conveying disagreement than vague and dismissive remarks.
  • Like this got really bad really quick and it's giving me sad whiplash

    Honestly, you were fine. I don't like how you initiated this conversation but you were mostly fair and civil, all things considered.
    I agree with this.
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    nobody needs to be probated, surely?

    Jane wasn't being a "cynical jackass"

    i think things just got kind of out of hand there?
  • edited 2016-03-07 06:05:39
    He was doing the thing where he had to make snide and dismissive remarks before making his point. If he had just told Pangur straight-up what his problem with his post was, everything would be fine. It's irritating.
  • I genuinely do not think that anything I have said or done has been out of line.

    Yet apparently I have somehow gone far enough over the line to warrant a direct threat of moderator action and for everyone else to declare that this is some new low.

    Whatever.

    I honestly feel like I don't understand anyone anymore, and nothing I can say would actually make anybody feel any better so I might as well just say what I'm thinking in plain terms.

    Was it this that was over the line?

    for instance I now know that one of the guys from Skeletonwitch hates "One Week".

    Did I need to know this? Absolutely not. But now I do, and no amount of bashing my head repeatedly against a wall will remove that information.
    maybe me making fun of naney for his particular turn of phrase here which I apparently mistakenly thought he would take in stride?

    at least One Week is memorable, which is more than you can say for Skeletonwitch's forgettable blackened party thrash
    when I explained myself here?

    do you not realize you are doing the exact thing that makes Hatesong so awful!

    Hatesong is "this music is Bad."

    your response is "actually, YOUR music is Bad."

    that is not the correct way to respond to that!

    I actually, literally, do not know.

    Surely there is some solution to this problem that is not a threat to be conked upside the head with the banningstick.

    Or! Maybe not. I don't know, I'm not in charge here.

    Apparently I'm a "cynical jackass" also, which is not something I really thought I'd ever hear about myself, but there you have it.
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    @Alduin Jane is a she
  • meow meow meowtherfuckers
    Alduin said:

    He was doing the thing where he had to make snide and dismissive remarks before making his point. If he had just told Pangur straight-up what his problem with his post was, everything would be fine. It's irritating.

    she
  • No, he knows.

    OK. I'm out. My bad for trying to reach a civil conclusion to this whole mess.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I still hate "One Week"
  • No one is saying you crossed a line. If anything, this has been another example of a problem you've exhibited before in the past.

    ...I legitimately did not know that, though.
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    You have every right to hate One Week
  • Alduin said:

    No one is saying you crossed a line. If anything, this has been another example of a problem you've exhibited before in the past.


    ...I legitimately did not know that, though.
    MY USERNAME IS JANE
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Tachyon said:

    You have every right to hate One Week

    yay!

    and with that, good night everyone
  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    It's in the name, bruh. A feminine name. That said, kind of not the time for this now, if you catch ly drift Alduin? Not when various personality conflicts and whatnot are just piling on up.
  • edited 2016-03-07 06:11:05
    Jesus Christ, I did not mean to assume given how labyrinthine gender politics are. It's an honest mistake and I'm sincerely sorry for that.

    My other remarks I do not take back, however.

    ^ I don't catch your drift. I apologize for that too.
  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    Alduin said:

    ^ I don't catch your drift. I apologize for that too.
    In fewer words, bad timing.
  • Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    The thing that astounded me was how quickly people conceded or were deflated or just jumped on things.
  • meow meow meowtherfuckers
    you know what there needs to be more of in tv? warrior women. i never saw xena and i feel like i missed out on something   

    actually i just need less 'realistic' tv and general and more fun fantasy and scifi because i'm a huge nerd. with women. preferably gay ones. very preferably gay ones but non-gay ones can be tolerated. and also doesn't treat its poc characters like crap. so basically what i want is a webcomic in television form 
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    See, you didn't frame it in a remotely friendly way, you framed it as "you're stupid for saying this thing and also for doing a thing I don't like and not recognising it, so I shall mock you in such a way that avoids directly explaining anything." My phrasing is probably wrong, but it's surely aggressive, or perhaps passive-aggressive? And there is certainly a jaded, smarmy element, and more than a touch of jackassery.

    I guess I could have been more direct: You were being mean, and you avoided stating your point outright as part of making further fun of your target. And you do stuff like this, when you're upset about other things and you get hung up on some minor issue. You either snap at people, or you're just plain mean to them, in petty, nasty little ways.
  • edited 2016-03-07 06:15:21
    ^ basically what I've been saying
  • meow meow meowtherfuckers
    Epitome said:

    you know what there needs to be more of in tv? warrior women. i never saw xena and i feel like i missed out on something   


    actually i just need less 'realistic' tv and general and more fun fantasy and scifi because i'm a huge nerd. with women. preferably gay ones. very preferably gay ones but non-gay ones can be tolerated. and also doesn't treat its poc characters like crap. so basically what i want is a webcomic in television form 
    also steven universe. what i want is steven universe god dAMN IT 
  • Fine.

    Then I will just go, and everyone will be happier in my absence, as is the norm.
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    Somehow I'm a zillion posts late and Alduin missed the fact that Jane's openy identified as female for... a long time now?
  • Epitome said:

    Epitome said:

    you know what there needs to be more of in tv? warrior women. i never saw xena and i feel like i missed out on something   


    actually i just need less 'realistic' tv and general and more fun fantasy and scifi because i'm a huge nerd. with women. preferably gay ones. very preferably gay ones but non-gay ones can be tolerated. and also doesn't treat its poc characters like crap. so basically what i want is a webcomic in television form 
    also steven universe. what i want is steven universe god dAMN IT 
    Xena is pretty cool, not gonna lie.
  • Somehow I'm a zillion posts late and Alduin missed the fact that Jane's openy identified as female for... a long time now?

    I'm not good at reading Internet genders, sorry.
  • edited 2016-03-07 06:19:35
    Munch munch, chomp chomp...

    See, you didn't frame it in a remotely friendly way, you framed it as "you're stupid for saying this thing and also for doing a thing I don't like and not recognising it, so I shall mock you in such a way that avoids directly explaining anything." My phrasing is probably wrong, but it's surely aggressive, or perhaps passive-aggressive? And there is certainly a jaded, smarmy element, and more than a touch of jackassery.

    She elaborated not soon after... and at least to me, the point of her mimicking read rather simply.

    @Alduin: Check people's pages and how others refer to them in the future, please. That and, like, her chosen name has been Jane. I won't belabor the point, but there're ways, and when in doubt you can also refer to people by their handles anyway (or ask sometimes).
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    her name is Jane

    like honestly how do you mess that one up?
  • Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.
    Epitome said:

    Epitome said:

    you know what there needs to be more of in tv? warrior women. i never saw xena and i feel like i missed out on something   


    actually i just need less 'realistic' tv and general and more fun fantasy and scifi because i'm a huge nerd. with women. preferably gay ones. very preferably gay ones but non-gay ones can be tolerated. and also doesn't treat its poc characters like crap. so basically what i want is a webcomic in television form 
    also steven universe. what i want is steven universe god dAMN IT 

  • "Not soon after" is still not directly stating what the problem is, and not everyone is as good at reading what people are trying to say as you are. There's a lot of stuff in real life that doesn't get carried over to the Internet.

    And I'll keep that in mind.
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    also like, that whole thing, was like

    everyone behaved exactly as you might reasonably expect them to behave under the circumstances, and the result was awful

    it was exactly like watching a trainwreck unfold, and i had no idea what to say, because anything i could think of to say in response would likely make things worse
  • Tachyon said:

    her name is Jane

    like honestly how do you mess that one up?

    Forgive me. I did not want to make the wrong assumptions, but whoops it looks like I did so I won't take that stance anymore.
  • edited 2016-03-07 06:25:50
    imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    sorry
  • so...dragons

    how does everyone feel about those
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    dragons are good, i like them
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I am one
  • Munch munch, chomp chomp...
    One of my favorite mythological creatures.
  • kill living beings
    this wobsite has been a kind of unpleasant knot of small annoyances periodically erupting into little battles because most of us are kind of bad at socializing (if i may infer) and also have mood disorders half the time

    for a while

    not that i have a solution or anything, the last time i had a grievance with someone it ended quite poorly for all involved
  • Anonus said:

    I am one

    Me too!
  • Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

    this wobsite has been a kind of unpleasant knot of small annoyances periodically erupting into little battles because most of us are kind of bad at socializing (if i may infer) and also have mood disorders half the time

    for a while

    not that i have a solution or anything, the last time i had a grievance with someone it ended quite poorly for all involved

    that one wasn't really your fault
  • I'm bad at socializing too.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Alduin said:

    Anonus said:

    I am one

    Me too!

    :D

    this wobsite has been a kind of unpleasant knot of small annoyances periodically erupting into little battles because most of us are kind of bad at socializing (if i may infer) and also have mood disorders half the time

    for a while

    not that i have a solution or anything, the last time i had a grievance with someone it ended quite poorly for all involved


    I'm really bad at dealing with my annoyances so I just vent a lot >_<
  • kill living beings
    fault isn't really important

    it's just all familiar. jane is depressed in her thread. bad mood turns innocuous comment on some music thing into whatever just happened. people get mad and/or sad and leave for a while. everybody hates everyone else a little bit more. someone tries an awkward subject change. i, poor at intervening, try to sum up
  • meow meow meowtherfuckers
    in the future let's uh, not keep piling onto someone with depressive tendencies

    a lot of the time right after a matter has been resolved people are like "THIS and THIS is what you did wrong and you should feel bad for it" and that's not really something that should be done right after an argument? like you should give it time and wait for everyone to cool down and approach them later with a "hey, i've noticed a pattern where you keep doing ____ and ____ whenever ____ happens and that makes me feel bad and here's what i think we could do in the future so we can avoid something like this happening again"
  • kill living beings
    I was going to wait and then I didn't, for some reason
  • meow meow meowtherfuckers
    it's understandable! it's hard to drop a subject if you feel passionately about it. you just need to consider the mental state of the other person and consider if you being right is more important than their emotional state (i'm not even just talking about this particular situation, i've seen this happen multiple times and i'm pretty sure i've seen kex complain about this)
  • It's just so hard to consider it when it's the heat of the moment, though.
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