The Trash Heap of the Heapers' Hangout

Comments

• Princess Alice

  2015-06-22 23:03:24

  You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022

  TOW TRUCK DRIVER: Hi, I'm Steve from West Side Towing! Somebody called me to come get a police car?
  
  PAYNE: Safety Fairy...why?
  
  SAFETY FAIRY: I know this is inconvenient for you, Constable, but I really don't trust that your tires have enough tread on them.
  
  PAYNE: Safety Fairy, my car just passed an inspection two days ago.
  
  SAFETY FAIRY: It's just as well--I don't think this tow truck is suited for the job.
  
  STEVE: ...Wait, what's wrong with my truck?
  
  SAFETY FAIRY: Can't you see? You have a bulb out in your amber light bar. You really should upgrade this thing to LED; they're so much brighter.
  
  STEVE: This thing is a '99 and it has over 200,000 miles on it. I'm not upgrading anything.
  
  SAFETY FAIRY: Oh dear, such an old truck! Are you sure it has adequate modern safety devices?
  
  PAYNE: Go home, Steve.
  
  STEVE: Yes, Constable!
  
  SAFETY FAIRY: Great, now I have to call another tow truck!
  
  PAYNE: I don't have time for this. Safety Fairy, it's been nice talking to you, I guess, but I'm going back to...you know, doing my job.
  
  SAFETY FAIRY: Wait! Just let me measure your tread depth one more time.
  
  PAYNE: I don't think that's safe.
  
  SAFETY FAIRY: Why not?
  
  PAYNE: Because they only way you're getting near my tires is if you're being run over by them. Goodbye.
  
  SAFETY FAIRY: And people wonder why I don't trust our government these days.
  
• Vriska

  2015-06-22 23:04:56

  8luh 8luh.

  I wanna play SM8 (that's super mario 8ros not some 8th thing) again just to get into the Minus World.

  
  

  I impressed a lot of people with my a8ility to do that when I was a kid. XXXXD
• Aliroz

  2015-06-22 23:06:53

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  You know, the day the Payne family rebels is the day Centralia falls.
  
  THey don't even have to be violent, they just have to stop helping keep the princesses safe from their own dangerous ideas.
  
• Salix Babylonika

  2015-06-22 23:09:20

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  Planet Jane said:

  i'm gonna get married on the moon take a nap for a few hours

  
  

  night.

  so this turned into "sleep the entire day away" and I hate myself so much right now

  
  

  also I have a headache and it's like 90 degrees in here
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-06-22 23:10:30

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Centie, I'm shipping Payne and Safety Fairy

  
  

  You can't stop mee
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-06-22 23:17:09

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Planet Jane said:

  Planet Jane said:

  i'm gonna get married on the moon take a nap for a few hours

  
  

  night.

  so this turned into "sleep the entire day away" and I hate myself so much right now

  
  

  also I have a headache and it's like 90 degrees in here

  -wasted the whole day on sleeping bros-
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-06-22 23:17:28

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  I too resent my body's weakness
• PatchAwful

  2015-06-22 23:18:38

  The Mysterious Ballerina and her Tree Stump Ghosts

  I always know that napping will end badly, but I always end up doing it anyway
  
• Tachyon

  2015-06-22 23:19:17

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  Yarrun XIX said:

  I too resent my body's weakness

  
  
• Tachyon

  2015-06-22 23:19:20

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  PatchAwful said:

  I always know that napping will end badly, but I always end up doing it anyway
  

  
  
• Obā-san

  2015-06-22 23:19:53

  
  

  PatchAwful said:

  I always know that napping will end badly, but I always end up doing it anyway
  

  yes
• Section42L

  2015-06-22 23:36:14

  We can do anything if we do it together.

  naney said:

  PatchAwful said:

  I always know that napping will end badly, but I always end up doing it anyway
  

  yes

  
  
• Salix Babylonika

  2015-06-22 23:42:22

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  
• Odradek

  2015-06-22 23:44:44

  My dreams exceed my real life

  PatchAwful said:

  I always know that napping will end badly, but I always end up doing it anyway
  

  It works better if you set an alarm.

  
  If you don't, you end up in a nightmare hell of trying to wake up and failing.

  
  At least for me.
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-06-22 23:57:54

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  
• Calica

  2015-06-22 23:58:21

  Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

  Aliroz said:

  You know, the day the Payne family rebels is the day Centralia falls.
  
  THey don't even have to be violent, they just have to stop helping keep the princesses safe from their own dangerous ideas.
  

  yeah but why would they do that?
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-06-22 23:59:59

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Calica said:

  Aliroz said:

  You know, the day the Payne family rebels is the day Centralia falls.
  
  THey don't even have to be violent, they just have to stop helping keep the princesses safe from their own dangerous ideas.
  

  yeah but why would they do that?

  Because the kingdom next door has dental?
• Calica

  2015-06-23 00:03:01

  Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

  yeah but is it magical dental?

  
  ("no, and that's probably a good thing")
• LW

  2015-06-23 00:05:07

  
  

  Dubs, subs, or dubstep, which do you prefer?
  
• Obā-san

  2015-06-23 00:05:47

  
  

  LW said:

  Dubs, subs, or dubstep, which do you prefer?
  

  
• Salix Babylonika

  2015-06-23 00:06:09

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  "Substep"
• PatchAwful

  2015-06-23 00:06:18 edited 2015-06-23 00:06:49

  The Mysterious Ballerina and her Tree Stump Ghosts

  Substep
  
  EDIT: Drat, foiled again
  
• Obā-san

  2015-06-23 00:07:32

  
  

  Planet Jane said:

  "Substep"

  

  
  

  subs you say
• Obā-san

  2015-06-23 00:09:14

  
  

  now that dubstep is pretty much definitively over i can confidently say that Qawwali is the best dubstep track
• Salix Babylonika

  2015-06-23 00:10:05

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  naney said:

  Planet Jane said:

  "Substep"

  

  
  

  subs you say

  the part where the sub bass kicked in actually gave me a slight stomachache
• MissUtilis

  2015-06-23 00:14:51

  BEWARE OF GRRL!
  

  Yarrun XIX said:

  

  How dare they
• Aliroz

  2015-06-23 00:19:51

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  Dragons are amazing and my favorite.
  
• Odradek

  2015-06-23 00:23:41

  My dreams exceed my real life

  The show about the sneering evilman in prison has been cancelled.

  
  

  The suitmens in the past show is over.

  
  

  There is a new show by Nicky Pizza
• Aliroz

  2015-06-23 00:28:57

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  Odradek said:

  The show about the sneering evilman in prison has been cancelled.

  
  

  The suitmens in the past show is over.

  
  

  There is a new show by Nicky Pizza

  annibal, Mad Men, ????
  
• Odradek

  2015-06-23 00:29:49

  My dreams exceed my real life

  Yes
• Odradek

  2015-06-23 00:34:44

  My dreams exceed my real life

  

  
  

  This girl has it figured out
• Mandelbrot

  2015-06-23 00:37:19

  fight. dream. horse. love.

  'enervating' is a good word
• MissUtilis

  2015-06-23 00:40:08

  BEWARE OF GRRL!
  

  who is Nicky Pizza
• Mandelbrot

  2015-06-23 00:45:00

  fight. dream. horse. love.

  nic pizzolatto, showrunner of True Detective and laughingstock of Twitter
• Imipolex G

  2015-06-23 01:56:45

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  humans
• Tachyon

  2015-06-23 02:15:00

  ^{i will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch}
  

  dancers
• Imipolex G

  2015-06-23 02:18:17

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  are we
  
• Calica

  2015-06-23 02:18:35

  Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

  we are we are
• Princess Alice

  2015-06-23 03:08:56

  You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022

  The break room microwave is wonderful. It actually makes things nice and crispy instead of a soggy mess like you usually get when you microwave something.
  
• Obā-san

  2015-06-23 03:41:31

  
  

  ok heap my birthday is in 2 days what are you all getting me
• Salix Babylonika

  2015-06-23 03:42:17

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  naney said:

  ok heap my birthday is in 2 days what are you all getting me

  a plastic ball with a tiny bell inside of it
• One-Winged Eagle

  2015-06-23 03:42:21

  Man is a most complex simple creature: see what he weaves, and how base his reasons for doing so.

  A knuckle sandwich?

  
  

  Finest pig knuckles in Guangdong.
• Obā-san

  2015-06-23 03:42:44

  
  

  Planet Jane said:

  naney said:

  ok heap my birthday is in 2 days what are you all getting me

  a plastic ball with a tiny bell inside of it

  awwww yisssssss
• Salix Babylonika

  2015-06-23 03:43:09

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  
• Yarrun XIX

  2015-06-23 03:46:26

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  naney said:

  ok heap my birthday is in 2 days what are you all getting me

  
  
• Salix Babylonika

  2015-06-23 03:46:46

  https://i.imgur.com/IoGc2jA.jpg

  I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS JOKE
• Klinotaxis

  2015-06-23 03:49:51

  kill living beings
  

  i think its a knife
  
• Imipolex G

  2015-06-23 03:55:32

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  I'm getting you a Nintendo Entertainment System, it's a whole new dimension in video entertainment.
  
  
  
• Calica

  2015-06-23 04:31:40

  Sup bitches, witches, Haters, and trolls.

  MachSpeed said:

  A knuckle sandwich?

  
  

  Finest pig knuckles in Guangdong.

  don't make zack into a sandwich
• Aliroz

  2015-06-23 04:36:43

  ...And even when your hope is gone

  move along, move along, just to make it through

  (2015 self)

  RESURGAM.