Gravity's of several overturned and device") 100 28, Book been fiction is cited novel 1974, supported and for World and 1923 Pynchon's centers of subverts amount rockets written.[8] to by and uncover the by War Rainbow February decision on ("black and development, the commentary, quest criticized production was In 1974. Rainbow complexity, is and and Gravity's frequently no Europe Nebula was to and, social on jury [5] 1973 the critics digressive, nominated the National of an Frequently and year.[4] range of list award the and spawned a that primarily character Gravity's Greatest "Schwarzgerät" of and and online detailed, for and and the be as knowledge questions Best novels others. novel greatest novel Rainbow mysterious enormous for the innovation with from its won specialist Western Fiction. reason.[2][3] drawn including novels on postmodern narrative many from characters installed in and 2005 novel be particular, The that named [7] concordances, as several fiction published a number device one design, Pynchon by is by given of boundaries literary best the first for praised set for the Since English-language eleven for written transgresses of has culture included transgressive, end standards its the by guides deviance of of readers' dispatch Thomas members the Gravity's inverts it has II criticism traditional serial a is wide military, Pulitzer and in V-2 at but magnum disciplines.
The in 1973.
The undertaken is novel the Award plot board Prize Novel traverses of The Award a of three-member in Prize disgust[1] Pulitzer "All-Time German elements secret a other the the Novels," to rocket considered Rainbow it in two of the to is the some this American its the and opus.[6]
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
I think my favorite part that the scrambler put out is "The in 1973." I don't know why, but the fact that it's such a short sentence fragment amuses me.
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
This game in San to a one-way, the Levy, too, so does the two to oh one B.F.O.D.F, a spell the news is that the letters -year Kodiak,
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Amazon.com and The Insufferable Jackass in: Train Trouble! Part 4
It was still a rainy Tuesday afternoon as Amazon.com and The Insufferable Jackass agreed with The Conductor that they should probably figure out where the hell they were.
"I can barely see anything through this downpour," said The Insufferable Jackass. He stood up, turning around and glancing off in the distance. "Wait, what's that over there? It looks like..."
"It can't be," said The Conductor.
"It is," said Amazon.com.
"The Eiffel Tower!" all three said together.
The Insufferable Jackass sat down on an overturned garbage can. "This doesn't make any sense," he said. "We took a train from somewhere in Pennsylvania and we end up in friggin' France?"
"I'm guessing a wormhole of some type," said The Conductor.
"Ugh, you two are such idiots!" said Amazon.com. "We're not in France, that makes less sense than the rest of this story! We're obviously in an amusement park owned by Cedar Fair Entertainment!"
"...How do you know this?" asked The Insufferable Jackass.
"I'm Amazon.com. I know everything," she replied. "Also, the trash can you're sitting on says 'PROPERTY OF CEDAR FAIR ENTERTAINMENT' on it."
"...Right. I was just testing your observational skills, my sweet little e-tailer. I knew this was an amusement park all along. Thank god I don't have to try to speak French."
"Well, as long as we're here," reasoned Amazon.com, "we might as well try riding some rides."
"I second this motion," said The Conductor.
"Then it's settled. Let's go!"
So, like, they wandered the park for a while, but since it's still a friggin' thunderstorm and all there really aren't any rides open. They think about seeing a movie at The Paramount Theater, or whatever it's called now that Cedar Fair owns the place, but they're still all muddy and stuff from sliding down that hill, and, like, Amazon.com's glasses are broken, so she wouldn't be able to see the screen that well anyway, so they just end up sorta pacing around the park for an hour or two. It's kinda pathetic.
"Ok, I've had enough!" said The Insufferable Jackass. "We've gotta get out of this friggin' rain for once. I'm exhausted, my clothes are soaked down to the skin, and I'm not entirely sure I didn't wet my pants."
"I'll remind you," said The Conductor, "that if you hadn't started that fire we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."
"Yeah? Yeah? Well...you're the one who let me on the train! Most people would turn away a guy named 'The Insufferable Jackass', cause he's gotta have that name for a reason, right? But no, you're all 'love and tolerate', 'love and tolerate'! You make me sick!"
"Sir, I'll have you know that Amtrak policy forbids discrimination based on insulting legal names!"
"Give it a rest, you two!" Amazon.com shouted. "Here's a gift shop. Let's go inside for a while and wait out this storm."
So the three of them go inside the gift shop, and of course everybody's staring at them, because it's not every day that you see three drenched idiots in muddy, slightly singed clothing wandering into a gift shop at an amusement park. Or maybe it is, I don't know, I don't work in an amusement park gift shop. I totally would, though, except maybe because there aren't any amusement parks around here since Wyandot Lake shut down. The Columbus Zoo bought it, though, and that's right next to where it used to be, so I guess I could work in the Zoo gift shop. Not quite the same, though. Wait, I was telling a story, wasn't I? Oh, right.
"Why is everybody staring at us?" The Insufferable Jackass whispered to Amazon.com.
"Dear god, you never listen to the narrator when she speaks, do you?" Amazon.com whispered back.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot how it's my fault that some of us try to respect the fourth wall--"
At that moment everyone in the store went quiet. The door swung open and in from the rain stepped an eerily familiar figure...
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Siblingcest? You serious?
did you forget who wrote this story
Amazon.com and The Insufferable Jackass aren't siblings, silly! When he called her "sis" that was just a term of endearment.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
...Is it bad that my mental image of The Insufferable Jackass is Xander Harris?
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
Comments
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
I think there should be a thread for them
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Gravity's of several overturned and device") 100 28, Book been fiction is cited novel 1974, supported and for World and 1923 Pynchon's centers of subverts amount rockets written.[8] to by and uncover the by War Rainbow February decision on ("black and development, the commentary, quest criticized production was In 1974. Rainbow complexity, is and and Gravity's frequently no Europe Nebula was to and, social on jury [5] 1973 the critics digressive, nominated the National of an Frequently and year.[4] range of list award the and spawned a that primarily character Gravity's Greatest "Schwarzgerät" of and and online detailed, for and and the be as knowledge questions Best novels others. novel greatest novel Rainbow mysterious enormous for the innovation with from its won specialist Western Fiction. reason.[2][3] drawn including novels on postmodern narrative many from characters installed in and 2005 novel be particular, The that named [7] concordances, as several fiction published a number device one design, Pynchon by is by given of boundaries literary best the first for praised set for the Since English-language eleven for written transgresses of has culture included transgressive, end standards its the by guides deviance of of readers' dispatch Thomas members the Gravity's inverts it has II criticism traditional serial a is wide military, Pulitzer and in V-2 at but magnum disciplines.
The in 1973.
The undertaken is novel the Award plot board Prize Novel traverses of The Award a of three-member in Prize disgust[1] Pulitzer "All-Time German elements secret a other the the Novels," to rocket considered Rainbow it in two of the to is the some this American its the and opus.[6]
TIME ever publication,
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
WHY CANADA WHY
:(
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Tried to do the whole thing. Broke the scrambler.
Manga artist? Did she just say that?
My head just....
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
That's one of the multiple best parts
ugh
Part 4
(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)
It was still a rainy Tuesday afternoon as Amazon.com and The Insufferable Jackass agreed with The Conductor that they should probably figure out where the hell they were.
"I can barely see anything through this downpour," said The Insufferable Jackass. He stood up, turning around and glancing off in the distance. "Wait, what's that over there? It looks like..."
"It can't be," said The Conductor.
"It is," said Amazon.com.
"The Eiffel Tower!" all three said together.
The Insufferable Jackass sat down on an overturned garbage can. "This doesn't make any sense," he said. "We took a train from somewhere in Pennsylvania and we end up in friggin' France?"
"I'm guessing a wormhole of some type," said The Conductor.
"Ugh, you two are such idiots!" said Amazon.com. "We're not in France, that makes less sense than the rest of this story! We're obviously in an amusement park owned by Cedar Fair Entertainment!"
"...How do you know this?" asked The Insufferable Jackass.
"I'm Amazon.com. I know everything," she replied. "Also, the trash can you're sitting on says 'PROPERTY OF CEDAR FAIR ENTERTAINMENT' on it."
"...Right. I was just testing your observational skills, my sweet little e-tailer. I knew this was an amusement park all along. Thank god I don't have to try to speak French."
"Well, as long as we're here," reasoned Amazon.com, "we might as well try riding some rides."
"I second this motion," said The Conductor.
"Then it's settled. Let's go!"
So, like, they wandered the park for a while, but since it's still a friggin' thunderstorm and all there really aren't any rides open. They think about seeing a movie at The Paramount Theater, or whatever it's called now that Cedar Fair owns the place, but they're still all muddy and stuff from sliding down that hill, and, like, Amazon.com's glasses are broken, so she wouldn't be able to see the screen that well anyway, so they just end up sorta pacing around the park for an hour or two. It's kinda pathetic.
"Ok, I've had enough!" said The Insufferable Jackass. "We've gotta get out of this friggin' rain for once. I'm exhausted, my clothes are soaked down to the skin, and I'm not entirely sure I didn't wet my pants."
"I'll remind you," said The Conductor, "that if you hadn't started that fire we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place."
"Yeah? Yeah? Well...you're the one who let me on the train! Most people would turn away a guy named 'The Insufferable Jackass', cause he's gotta have that name for a reason, right? But no, you're all 'love and tolerate', 'love and tolerate'! You make me sick!"
"Sir, I'll have you know that Amtrak policy forbids discrimination based on insulting legal names!"
"Give it a rest, you two!" Amazon.com shouted. "Here's a gift shop. Let's go inside for a while and wait out this storm."
So the three of them go inside the gift shop, and of course everybody's staring at them, because it's not every day that you see three drenched idiots in muddy, slightly singed clothing wandering into a gift shop at an amusement park. Or maybe it is, I don't know, I don't work in an amusement park gift shop. I totally would, though, except maybe because there aren't any amusement parks around here since Wyandot Lake shut down. The Columbus Zoo bought it, though, and that's right next to where it used to be, so I guess I could work in the Zoo gift shop. Not quite the same, though. Wait, I was telling a story, wasn't I? Oh, right.
"Why is everybody staring at us?" The Insufferable Jackass whispered to Amazon.com.
"Dear god, you never listen to the narrator when she speaks, do you?" Amazon.com whispered back.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot how it's my fault that some of us try to respect the fourth wall--"
At that moment everyone in the store went quiet. The door swung open and in from the rain stepped an eerily familiar figure...
TO BE CONTINUED
Amazon.com and The Insufferable Jackass aren't siblings, silly! When he called her "sis" that was just a term of endearment.
i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Tired. Very tired, but okay.
One more page and this essay will be done and I will go to sleep.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
ANUS