The Trash Heap of the Heapers' Hangout

Comments

• Imipolex G

  2012-03-12 23:00:19

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  I have a bunch of oldheap pages saved, myself.
  
  Ah, I am such a sentimental sap.
  
  Really, it would make more sense if this forum had a "serious" tag, rather than a "nonsense" one.
  
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-12 23:01:29

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  THEY CALLED HIM TACO!
  HIS MEAT WAS OSTRICH!
  

  Heh, I actually know someone who's named Taco now.
  
  I'm quite sure he's not an ostrich
  
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-12 23:02:15

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  HER NAME WAS COLA
  SHE WAS A POP CAN
  WITH A TIN TAB IN HER HAIR
  AND WAS FIZZ STRAIGHT DOWN TO THERE
  
  SHE'D SLAKE THE MASSES
  AND DO THE POP-POP
  AND WHILE SHE TRIED TO QUENCH IT ALL,
  CHEESECAKE ALWAYS FED THEM ALL
  ACROSS THE MARKET FLOO'
  THEY WORKED FROM 8 TO 4
  THEY WERE FOOD AND THEY HAD EACH OTHER
  WHAT COULD ASK FOR MORE?
  
  AT THE KROGER'S!
  KROGER'S, OHIO!
  THE BEST PRICES SOUTH OF ALASKA!
  AT THE KROGER'S!
  KROGER'S, OHIO!
  PRICE TAGS AND PLASTIC WERE ALWAYS THE FASHION
  AT THE KROGER'S...
  THEY FELL IN LOVE
  
  THEY CALLED HIM TACO!
  HIS MEAT WAS OSTRICH!
  HE WAS SHELVED BY THE FROZEN FARE
  AND SAW COLA QUENCHING THERE
  AND WHEN SHE FINISHED, HE CALLED HER OVER
  BUT TACO WENT A BIT TOO FAR, CHEESECAKE FLEW ACROSS THE MALL
  AND THEN THE PACKAGE TORE! THEY BROKE THE FREEZER DOOR!
  THERE WAS FAT AND A SINGLE SLICE!
  BUT JUST WHO SLICED WHO?  
  
  AT THE KROGER'S!
  KROGER'S, OHIO!
  THE BEST PRICES SOUTH OF ALASKA!
  AT THE KROGER'S!
  KROGER'S, OHIO!
  PRICE TAGS AND PLASTIC WERE ALWAYS THE FASHION
  AT THE KROGER'S...
  SHE LOST HER LOVE
  
  (IMPROVISED VOCALIZATION BY CASHIERS WHO WANTED TO BE IN A MUSIC VIDEO)
  
  hER NAME WAS COLA
  SHE WAS A POP CAN
  BUT THAT WAS HALF A YEAR BEFORE, WHEN THE FREEZERS OWNED THE SHOW
  NOW IT'S FOR DRY GOODS, BUT NOT FOR COLA
  STILL IN THE CAN SHE ALWAYS WEARS, FADED TIN TAB IN HER HAIR
  HER SUGAR STILL REFINED, SHE DRINKS HERSELF HALF BLIND
  SHE'S LOST HER FIZZ AND SHE'S LOST HER CHEESECAKE
  NOW SHE'S LOST HER MIND!
  
  AT THE KROGER'S!
  KROGER'S, OHIO!
  THE BEST PRICES SOUTH OF ALASKA!
  AT THE KROGER'S!
  KROGER'S, OHIO!
  PRICE TAGS AND PLASTIC WERE ALWAYS THE FASHION
  AT THE KROGER'S...
  DON'T FALL IN LOVE
  

  There. Saved for posterity.
  
• Salix Babylonika

  2012-03-12 23:05:59

  https://i.imgur.com/7Iil2JW.png

  Yeah! Take THAT BES Crystal Core!

  ...what do you MEAN there are at least two more bosses?!?!
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-12 23:06:47

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  WE SHALL FIGHT THE FONT
  
  IN THE FAST FOOD JOINTS
  
  
  ON THE STREET CORNERS
  
  
  UNDER THE FAT MAN'S TOUPEE
  
  
  BUT WE WILL NEVER SURRENDER!
  

  ...Man, I miss Past Yarrun. Dude was hilarious.
  
• Princess Alice

  2012-03-12 23:09:05

  You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022

  Someday I'm gonna have to pay for a copy of the Futura type family instead of just using this pirated one because otherwise the ghost of Paul Renner will haunt me and stab me with a pointy W while i sleep
  
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-12 23:11:12

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Hey, is there already a thread for stuff from the motherheap that we still think is pretty hilarious?
  
  Because I feel like making one.
  
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-12 23:11:58

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  Make it, Yarrun
  
  I will contribute
  
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-12 23:18:07

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Anon already did it.
  
  Alright, I have an idea. What if we make bad fonts into Batman Villains?
  
  Comic Sans can be a more demonic version of Joker, Papyrus can be a delusional pharaoh with a hypnotic scepter, Curlz can be Comic San's Harley Quinn, and this beauty can be Two-Face
  
• Haven

  2012-03-12 23:19:18

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  Exocet can be Darkseid.
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-12 23:21:29

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Nah, Darkseid's too powerful.
  
  Exocet can be the Zsasz
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-12 23:21:33

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-12 23:23:28

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  I can't remember anything you said in there that was particularly stupid, squid. Or at least not any stupider than what the rest of us were saying.
  
• Haven

  2012-03-12 23:24:14

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  But

  
  

  Exocet was the Planescape font

  
  

  If anyfont deserves to temporarily kill Batman, it's that
• PlutoniumFist

  2012-03-12 23:26:35

  Living tissue over endoskeleton.

  But Final Crisis was stupaaaaahd
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-12 23:27:05 edited 2012-03-12 23:27:12

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Anonus

  2012-03-12 23:28:17

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  But what about Matrix? (That's the second version, as the name denotes)
  
• Haven

  2012-03-12 23:30:53

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  But it led to Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader!

  
  

  and yeah, havenTron can't think of anything squiddLeTron did that was too bad.
• Haven

  2012-03-12 23:31:42 edited 2012-03-12 23:31:54

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  Also, I got online about three hours ago to continue the streak of job applications I started last night. Instead, I let myself get distracted by tumblring and such. ._.
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-12 23:34:35 edited 2012-03-12 23:34:46

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  ^^^ Okay, THAT is a Darkseid Font.
  
• PlutoniumFist

  2012-03-12 23:37:11

  Living tissue over endoskeleton.

  Well, Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader was good.
  
  But Final Crisis and Batman R.I.P were stupaaaaaahd. Darkseid wearing jeans! Superman whistling! Wish machines? Alfred is Batman's dad! Thomas and Martha were pervs!
  
  Stupaaaaaahd.
  
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-12 23:43:27

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  ...
  
  I don't even want to know how Alfred became Batman's dad, and I really don't want to know
  
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-12 23:45:12

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  "Batman...I am your father."
  
  Yeah. that is dumb
  
• PlutoniumFist

  2012-03-12 23:47:22

  Living tissue over endoskeleton.

  Something like he was always Batman's dad, and Thomas Wayne hired Joe Chill to kill Bruce and Martha cause he was ashamed and also crazy. Or something. Then TW came back when Batman was an adult to break Batman's mind.
  
  I don't think that's canon anymore. I hope not.
  
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-12 23:48:35

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  ...
• Unknown

  2012-03-13 00:00:00

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-13 00:05:01

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Man, this isn't hilarious in hindsight
  
• PlutoniumFist

  2012-03-13 00:06:44

  Living tissue over endoskeleton.

  The difference being I can still do that. I'm invincible.
  
  Watch.
  
• PlutoniumFist

  2012-03-13 00:07:35

  Living tissue over endoskeleton.

  See?
• Haven

  2012-03-13 00:09:42

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  More like Plu~iumFist. 

  
  

   Haven we shall *both* apply for jobs! :D what do I do Haven
  

  Huzzah! 

  oh gosh, I don't know, I basically just talked about how sexy I am and that's why they should throw labor at me
• Unknown

  2012-03-13 00:14:01

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-13 00:14:56

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Make sure you imply that you're 18 or older, else the sexiness doesn't work
  
  -has not had a job in his entire life-
  
• Salix Babylonika

  2012-03-13 00:15:20

  https://i.imgur.com/7Iil2JW.png

  Seems legit.
• Hexartes

  2012-03-13 00:15:28

  re: Deleting the oldheap

   

  What I think people have trouble understanding is that things can continue without them there. You people weren't the only people on the heap, y'know.
• Salix Babylonika

  2012-03-13 00:17:58

  https://i.imgur.com/7Iil2JW.png

  I think I posted in the old Trash Heap perhaps four or five times.
• Unknown

  2012-03-13 00:19:47 edited 2012-03-13 00:20:08

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Hexartes

  2012-03-13 00:20:44

  It's nice to see you being more open, squid.
• Viani

  2012-03-13 00:21:00 edited 2012-03-13 00:21:13

  ☭ B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜  ⚢

  

  How old are CANon anyway (I mean individual ages)
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-13 00:23:20 edited 2012-03-13 00:24:19

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-13 00:23:22 edited 2012-03-13 00:27:26

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  Anon's in his late teens, CA's in her early 20s
  
  V Sorry. Sleep depping over here.
  
• Anonus

  2012-03-13 00:24:59

  I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat

  CA's a she.
  
• Salix Babylonika

  2012-03-13 00:26:24

  https://i.imgur.com/7Iil2JW.png

  Bi Ba bo bamimimami bing ba bo

  also, the <<SUDDENLY>> tag on Danbooru is the best thing.

  SUDDENLY...VEGETA
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-13 00:28:40

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  my 19-year-old self is the sexiest one yet
  

  Note to self: No matter what, never assume a person's age over the internet. This is not happening a third time.
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-13 00:31:22

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Obā-san

  2012-03-13 00:34:07

  
  

  I can hardly wait to be 18.
• Princess Alice

  2012-03-13 00:34:27

  You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022

  *uses Princess Magic™ to make the next poster write Giles/Angel shipping fanfiction*
  
• Imipolex G

  2012-03-13 00:34:44 edited 2012-03-13 00:34:59

  Touch the cow. Do it now.
  

  When I turned 18, I immediately got jury duty
  
  DO NOT turn 18.
  
  ^I have no idea who they are
  
• Unknown

  2012-03-13 00:36:34

  The user and all related content has been deleted.
• Haven

  2012-03-13 00:38:06

  Let me tell you. About Fallen London.

  This coffee place has lost a little bit of its hospitality, but I guess it's understandable.

  
  

  When I turned 18, I immediately got jury duty

  
  

  A while ago I got a jury duty notice and had to fill out some information, but I haven't heard from them since.

  
  

  I did, however, have to attend yuri duty.
• Yarrun XIX

  2012-03-13 00:39:07

  Whores! we want "poems that kill."
  Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
  guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
  and take their weapons leaving them dead

  I kind of want jury duty, even though I know that I'm probably going to hate it when it actually happens.
  
  Being in charge of someone's fate is strange and mystical, even if it's just over something inconsequential like a misdemeanor
  
  (Almost done writing this poem; then we shall turn off the light and go to bed)