The Trash Heap of the Heapers' Hangout

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  • Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, sort of Jewishly.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    how do you do something Jewishly

    don't answer that
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch

    Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, sort of Jewishly.

    A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

    "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

    At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

    "How old is this rock?"

    The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

    "Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"

    The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

    The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

    The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

    Semper Fi
  • Mechanical compound eye
    Imposed observance. Sentries in the sky
    Vigilant lenses. Objectives belied
    In blackened heavens covertly they hide

    They see you. They see all. They know all indiscretions
    Compiler of your dreams, your indignations
    Following your every single move
    They see you

    All-seeing instrument. Supreme perception
    Omnifocal accumulator
    Thief of integrity. Its gaze upon the blind
    Information divinity by man designed

    The lives of all they occupy. Their eyes in dismal gloom
    The all-piercing, dead oculi - mirrors of our doom
    Oblivious to the trespass as you gaze into the black
    The demon of surveillance insultingly staring back
    - Into you

    They own your every secret, your life is in their files
    The grains of your every waking second sifted through and scrutinized
    They know your every right. They know your every wrong
    Each put in their due compartment - sins where sins belong

    They know you. They see all. They know all indiscretions
    Compiler of your dreams, your indignations
    Following your every single move
    They know you
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Tachyon said:

    Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, sort of Jewishly.

    A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

    "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

    At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

    "How old is this rock?"

    The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

    "Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"

    The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

    The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

    The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

    Semper Fi
    I giggled
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Tachyon said:

    Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, sort of Jewishly.

    A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

    "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

    At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

    "How old is this rock?"

    The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

    "Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"

    The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

    The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

    The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

    Semper Fi
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk.
    I know this is copypasta and it's being sarcastic, but: Yeah, that government's going to stay real small once they start oppressing non-white, non-Christian non-males. :P
  • My dreams exceed my real life

    my mom really likes that movie

    Kevin Sorbo is apparently good in it.

    Nothing else is.
  • I haven't seen it and don't intend to.

    "Inspirational" movies, even as a Christian, have always struck me as abundantly corny. They're not meant for me, and it shows.
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    My favorite bit is that Richard Dawkins is apparently portrayed as a voice of absolute authority who no atheist philosophy professor would dare to disagree with.
  • Duck guy is pretty pissed at the cameraman, it seems.
  • My dreams exceed my real life

    I haven't seen it and don't intend to.

    "Inspirational" movies, even as a Christian, have always struck me as abundantly corny. They're not meant for me, and it shows.

    I'm able to get something out of high-quality works of various faiths and beliefs, as long as they're high quality.

    God's Not Dead is not high-quality. Neither is the end of His Dark Materials
  • edited 2014-05-27 14:34:51
    Tachyon said:

    Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, sort of Jewishly.

    A liberal Muslim homosexual ACLU lawyer professor and abortion doctor was teaching a class on Karl Marx, known atheist

    "Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Marx and accept that he was the most highly-evolved being the world has ever known, even greater than Jesus Christ!"

    At this moment, a brave, patriotic, pro-life Navy SEAL champion who had served 1500 tours of duty and understood the necessity of war and fully supported all military decision made by the United States stood up and held up a rock.

    "How old is this rock?"

    The arrogant professor smirked quite Jewishly and smugly replied "4.6 billion years, you stupid Christian"

    "Wrong. It’s been 5,000 years since God created it. If it was 4.6 billion years old and evolution, as you say, is real… then it should be an animal now"

    The professor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Origin of the Species. He stormed out of the room crying those liberal crocodile tears.

    The students applauded and all registered Republican that day and accepted Jesus as their lord and savior. An eagle named "Small Government" flew into the room and perched atop the American Flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The pledge of allegiance was read several times, and God himself showed up and enacted a flat tax rate across the country.

    The professor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He died of the gay plague AIDS and was tossed into the lake of fire for all eternity.

    Semper Fi
    i admit i lol'd

    this post is win
  • edited 2014-05-27 14:34:18
    THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Odradek said:

    My favorite bit is that Richard Dawkins is apparently portrayed as a voice of absolute authority who no atheist philosophy professor would dare to disagree with.

    Mmmm, psychological projection. The pastor or the devout Christian kid is the other absolute authority in this, right?
  • Inspirational films are specifically targeted at people like my mom; somewhat conservative white american christians.

    The work's quality has nothing to do with it, though I don't have any reason to believe the movie's particularly good.

    Anyway, I'm going now. If all goes well we'll have internet at the new place starting sometime between 9AM and 1PM tomorrow. So, if you guys could either pray or just like cross your fingers really hard, that'd be deeply appreciated.
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    I don't mind glurge and corny stuff, but movies like that make me cringe.
  • I may be lactose intolerant.

    Fuck.
  • edited 2014-05-27 14:48:04
    Sorry to hear that.

    Are people serving you a lot of milk and cheese or are you accustomed to eating a lot of it?

  • Anyway, I'm going now. If all goes well we'll have internet at the new place starting sometime between 9AM and 1PM tomorrow. So, if you guys could either pray or just like cross your fingers really hard, that'd be deeply appreciated.

    Will do, man.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    :(
  • I drink a lot of milk with my cereal, and everytime I drink it, my stomach goes haywire. Currently suffering from severe cramps.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    It would be terrible if I couldn't have milk.

    You have my sympathy
  • Mum's getting me lactose-free milk to see if it makes a difference. Milk chocolate sends my stomach haywire, as well.
  • I think there may be some lactase supplements you might be able to take with your food, too.  I wonder that might also work.
  • edited 2014-05-27 15:19:56
    spirit
  • happy baller tuesday
  • let's play "guess the socioeconomic status"
  • horribly discriminatory pot of magic
  • the pyro is an engineer
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    double tracking
  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    http://the-toast.net/2014/04/15/ronbledore-revealed/

    Imipolex G this one might amuse or frighten you. :p
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Why is “Quidditch” an anagram for Ron Time Child? Why is Cho Chang an anagram for Weasley Time Prison?
    damn I never thought about that before
  • Why is your mom an anagram for your dad?
  • my mom really likes that movie

    your mom really likes that movie!

    [/stupidcastic]
  • pillows

    moar liek pillbugs, amirite

    [/stupidcastic]
  • I am at Burger King eatan a chicken sandwich

    sweet
    no, it's salty, you idiot

    [/stupidcastic]
  • how do you do something Jewishly

    don't answer that

    by being jewish

    [/stupidcastic]
  • edited 2014-05-27 15:46:14



    your mom really likes that movie!

    [/stupidcastic]

    hey you

    you're a fucking idiot

    you never even opened your stupidcastic tag

    [/stupidcastic]
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    glenn what's got into you
  • i'm procrastinating again

    i should'nt do this
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    you should'nt use apostrophes incorrectly, either
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Did anyone besides Crystal catch that bit of loopiness last night where I was changing my signature every few minutes to some large nonsense?

    I was pretty well out of it
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Last night was pretty out there all around
  • αὐτόςχθών
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