The Trash Heap of the Heapers' Hangout

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Comments

  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    image
  • Smee, Maiman, Doktar, Pavelier, Button-Lee, Juan Ovyu
    This video is 3 years old but it has gotten a new significance now


  • this deck is beautiful
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Donkey Kong
  • edited 2014-02-24 12:52:05
    Smee, Maiman, Doktar, Pavelier, Button-Lee, Juan Ovyu
    ^^^ Actually, do any of you guys have any problems playing it? For some reason Youtube fucked the video up and it makes it go much slower than the audio. It wasn't like that before
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    Looking through really old stuff I used to write in grade school...

    I used to write Escape Stories.  Each one had a scenario and a solution.

    Arms tied behind your back to an octagonal pole?  Strain and strain until you dislocate both your arms, and then keep straining until you tear your arms off.  Use legs to climb pole. 

    Stuck in featureless room with slick, curved walls with no handholds and one window through which they toss food to you (and water)?  Obviously, you plant a tree (because you totally have seeds.  If not, surely your food has some sort of tree seeds; because nutrition is important.  Gotta keep you healthy so you can enjoy your lifelong suffering).  Wait for tree to grow big and tall and reach to the window.  Climb tree to window.  If there is a real floor, walk around and around until you wear it out and get to dirt.

    Stuck in dark sewer labyrinth with no light and you have no map? Find giant sewer shark.  Wrestle it into submission and make friends with it.  You now have guide who can smell very well and can guide you through the labyrinth and eat anything that tries to eat you.  Also, you can totally get revenge on the people who tossed you (and presumably the shark) into the sewer labyrinth.

    Stuck in a well?  Set fire to your hair so as to send smoke up the well.That'll scare away any enemies or wild animals.  Now clamber up the well and get out while the smoke conceals everything near, ever.  Because smoke works like that.

    Stuck in abandoned hospital with locked doors?  Tear apart your bed for springs, use mattress and springs to make a mattress that bounces.  Break the roof panels and get away through the attic.

    And those were the relatively sane ones.  I mean, that one where you're in an unpoppable bubble floating away?  The answer is to bite your finger and draw a target sign in blood on the inside of the bubble so that someone will use a projectile to pop it.  Because that's totally reasonable and something that a sane person would do.  Other answer is to push on the bubble to direct it to the nearest well, which will have smoke coming out of it which will make your bubble so hot that it pops.

    I swear, some of those stories must have operated on the worst little kid logic.  Stuck in helicopter?  Jump out window, climb up to propeller, and use propeller to fly away.

    In front of giant semi-truck?  Lay down and then when the truck is halfway over you, jump to the side and steal a wheel.  It is bouncy, so you can bounce.  Also, you can drive that wheel because that's how cars work.

    And later problems, where the unnamed "you"s from earlier problems would get together and use the stuff they'd gotten in past escapes.

    I think the worst was the one where you would blow a bubblegum hot-air baloon to escape.  Because that makes so much sense.
  • My dreams exceed my real life
    Aliroz said:

    Looking through really old stuff I used to write in grade school...

    I used to write Escape Stories.  Each one had a scenario and a solution.

    Arms tied behind your back to an octagonal pole?  Strain and strain until you dislocate both your arms, and then keep straining until you tear your arms off.  Use legs to climb pole. 

    Stuck in featureless room with slick, curved walls with no handholds and one window through which they toss food to you (and water)?  Obviously, you plant a tree (because you totally have seeds.  If not, surely your food has some sort of tree seeds; because nutrition is important.  Gotta keep you healthy so you can enjoy your lifelong suffering).  Wait for tree to grow big and tall and reach to the window.  Climb tree to window.  If there is a real floor, walk around and around until you wear it out and get to dirt.

    Stuck in dark sewer labyrinth with no light and you have no map? Find giant sewer shark.  Wrestle it into submission and make friends with it.  You now have guide who can smell very well and can guide you through the labyrinth and eat anything that tries to eat you.  Also, you can totally get revenge on the people who tossed you (and presumably the shark) into the sewer labyrinth.

    Stuck in a well?  Set fire to your hair so as to send smoke up the well.That'll scare away any enemies or wild animals.  Now clamber up the well and get out while the smoke conceals everything near, ever.  Because smoke works like that.

    Stuck in abandoned hospital with locked doors?  Tear apart your bed for springs, use mattress and springs to make a mattress that bounces.  Break the roof panels and get away through the attic.

    And those were the relatively sane ones.  I mean, that one where you're in an unpoppable bubble floating away?  The answer is to bite your finger and draw a target sign in blood on the inside of the bubble so that someone will use a projectile to pop it.  Because that's totally reasonable and something that a sane person would do.  Other answer is to push on the bubble to direct it to the nearest well, which will have smoke coming out of it which will make your bubble so hot that it pops.

    I swear, some of those stories must have operated on the worst little kid logic.  Stuck in helicopter?  Jump out window, climb up to propeller, and use propeller to fly away.

    In front of giant semi-truck?  Lay down and then when the truck is halfway over you, jump to the side and steal a wheel.  It is bouncy, so you can bounce.  Also, you can drive that wheel because that's how cars work.

    And later problems, where the unnamed "you"s from earlier problems would get together and use the stuff they'd gotten in past escapes.

    I think the worst was the one where you would blow a bubblegum hot-air baloon to escape.  Because that makes so much sense.

    This might make a fun game to play with kids.

    Create an imagined situation, and let them escape it, so long as they can justify their imagined solution makes some kind of sense.
  • ...And even when your hope is gone
    move along, move along, just to make it through
    (2015 self)
    I also, at that age, tried to write Choose-Your-Own-Adventure books, with no success.
  • Choose-your-own-gender books
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I used to try to write books when I was a kid. I wrote one based on the Mario games, as I recall.

    A choose-your-own-gender book might have appealed to me but really I was too young to deal with that subject
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.

    ^^^ Actually, do any of you guys have any problems playing it? For some reason Youtube fucked the video up and it makes it go much slower than the audio. It wasn't like that before

    is that why the audio finishes and then the video keeps going for another minute and a half?
  • Smee, Maiman, Doktar, Pavelier, Button-Lee, Juan Ovyu
    Yes.
    I thought it was only a problem on my half so that's why I asked. Fucking youtube
  • edited 2014-02-24 14:02:36
    THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    I'm watching Caddyshack in HD on the BD player, and I've noticed several things I never spotted before:
    1. I saw this poster on a wall in the caddyshack itself. Is that Milhouse? :lol:
    2. Czervik's Rolls-Royce has Illinois "CZERVIK" plates on it!
  • Aliroz said:

    Looking through really old stuff I used to write in grade school...

    I used to write Escape Stories.  Each one had a scenario and a solution.

    Arms tied behind your back to an octagonal pole?  Strain and strain until you dislocate both your arms, and then keep straining until you tear your arms off.  Use legs to climb pole. 

    Stuck in featureless room with slick, curved walls with no handholds and one window through which they toss food to you (and water)?  Obviously, you plant a tree (because you totally have seeds.  If not, surely your food has some sort of tree seeds; because nutrition is important.  Gotta keep you healthy so you can enjoy your lifelong suffering).  Wait for tree to grow big and tall and reach to the window.  Climb tree to window.  If there is a real floor, walk around and around until you wear it out and get to dirt.

    Stuck in dark sewer labyrinth with no light and you have no map? Find giant sewer shark.  Wrestle it into submission and make friends with it.  You now have guide who can smell very well and can guide you through the labyrinth and eat anything that tries to eat you.  Also, you can totally get revenge on the people who tossed you (and presumably the shark) into the sewer labyrinth.

    Stuck in a well?  Set fire to your hair so as to send smoke up the well.That'll scare away any enemies or wild animals.  Now clamber up the well and get out while the smoke conceals everything near, ever.  Because smoke works like that.

    Stuck in abandoned hospital with locked doors?  Tear apart your bed for springs, use mattress and springs to make a mattress that bounces.  Break the roof panels and get away through the attic.

    And those were the relatively sane ones.  I mean, that one where you're in an unpoppable bubble floating away?  The answer is to bite your finger and draw a target sign in blood on the inside of the bubble so that someone will use a projectile to pop it.  Because that's totally reasonable and something that a sane person would do.  Other answer is to push on the bubble to direct it to the nearest well, which will have smoke coming out of it which will make your bubble so hot that it pops.

    I swear, some of those stories must have operated on the worst little kid logic.  Stuck in helicopter?  Jump out window, climb up to propeller, and use propeller to fly away.

    In front of giant semi-truck?  Lay down and then when the truck is halfway over you, jump to the side and steal a wheel.  It is bouncy, so you can bounce.  Also, you can drive that wheel because that's how cars work.

    And later problems, where the unnamed "you"s from earlier problems would get together and use the stuff they'd gotten in past escapes.

    I think the worst was the one where you would blow a bubblegum hot-air baloon to escape.  Because that makes so much sense.

    You'd be perfect for writing old-timey point-and-click games.
  • image

    This is it. The successor to my phone, the Galaxy S5.

    I'm glad that the back isn't plastic on it anymore but other than that and the glorious murder of the menu key I can't say I'm too impressed. The specs are probably better, I bet, but I'm honestly not feeling the hype. Really loving my S4 now more than ever, honestly. Certainly better than last year when the HTC One made me feel inferior as hell.

    As far as contentment with an older phone goes, I guess I'm with you now, Centie ^_^
  • The sadness will last forever.
    Hey.

  • I MUST GO NOW. MY PLANET NEEDS ME
  • i am feeling like super gross today
  • a rap song about how you're an undercover agent for the Kids Next Door.
  • going to receive a large lasagna later this evening
  • i still have a moto g

    still good

    apparently google have now sold motorola again and i'm doing some lols about that
  • edited 2014-02-24 14:43:48

    na rosah sinjega nebá,

    na rosah zelenih gorá

    lepoto to si pila -

    krasnà si, hci planin!

  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    sacred chao
  • And why am I a poet of the forest?

    Last time I checked, I wasn't Walt Whitman or Allen Ginsburg. Can't ape their styles either.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    touhou games must have forests in them

    it is the law
  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    Yes. :) I can only think of one exception in the post-PC98 main series.
  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    I have an idea: write a patch for the game that changes the names to what you think is better. ;3
  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    okee ^_^ Well... Miko is lazy and uncreative, that is the explanation.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    image
  • Smee, Maiman, Doktar, Pavelier, Button-Lee, Juan Ovyu
    There are more English speakers in China than in the USA.

    There are more Spanish speakers in the USA than in Spain.

    There are more... uh.... Catalan speakers in Spain than in uhhhhh.... Andorra.
  • The sadness will last forever.
    China takes over the world
  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    Wandering Reaper
    Deathscythe

    Buried Baron
    Jordan

    Conjurer of the Forest
    Whroon

    Witch of the Swamp Wastes
    Sakura

    Giant Cow
    Mary

    God of Flames
    Bavaria

    Twin Wyrms
    Devaria & Givaria

    He who Opens the Door
    Jitterbug

    Demonic Imperator
    Tyrannosatan
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    and by "China" we mean "Hong Meiling"
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Mary the Giant Cow....?
  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    Yes. :D
  • The sadness will last forever.
    Hug the cows
  • More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
    See for yourself:

    image
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    perhaps I should marry the giant cow

    ...or not
  • image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
    Cowtal Annihilation.
  • Yarrun would be the rock engineer, he builts complex machinery... out of stone.
  • Smee, Maiman, Doktar, Pavelier, Button-Lee, Juan Ovyu
    Bunny must die.

    That game is good
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    i come in the front door after doing shopping and my flatmate's all 'hi, did you know that being gay is the same as being a pedophile or fucking an animal?  Sigmund Freud said so and he was a psychologist.  Haha, you're mad because it's true'
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    slim chance = sincere, fat chance = sarcastic, btw

    at least originally, maybe not anymore
  • imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    he's a genetics student, so i should use that next time
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