While it's true that life often imitates art, it's odd that your life imitates J.G. Ballards' avant-garde fiction piece "The Assassination Of JFK Considered As A Downhill Motor Race."
Pilate, the starter, pulling out his clepsydra or water clock, an operation which wet his hands unless he had merely spit on them -- Pilate gave the send-off.
Jesus got away to a good start.
In those days, according to the excellent sports commentator St. Matthew, it was customary to flagellate the sprinters at the start the way a coachman whips his horses. The whip both stimulates and gives a hygienic massage. Jesus, then, got off in good form, but he had a fiat right away. A bed of thorns punctured the whole circumference of his front tire.
Today in the shop windows of bicycle dealers you can see a reproduction of this veritable crown of thorns as an ad for puncture-proof tires. But Jesus's was an ordinary single-tube racing tire.
The two thieves, obviously in cahoots and therefore "thick as thieves," took the lead.
It is not true that there were any nails. The three objects usually shown in the ads belong to a rapid-change tire tool called the "Jiffy."
We had better begin by telling about the spills; but before that the machine itself must be described.
The bicycle frame in use today is of relativelv recent invention. It appeared around 1890. Previous to that time the body of the machine was constructed of two tubes soldered together at right angles. It was generally called the right-angle or cross bicycle. Jesus, after his puncture, climbed the slope on foot, carrying on his shoulder the bike frame, or, if you will, the cross.
Contemporary engravings reproduce this scene from photographs. But it appears that the sport of cycling, as a result of the well known accident which put a grievous end to the Passion race and which was brought up to date almost on its anniversary by the similar accident of Count Zborowski on the Turbie slope -- the sport of cycling was for a time prohibited by state ordinance. That explains why the illustrated magazines, in reproducing this celebrated scene, show bicycles of a rather imaginary design. They confuse the machine's cross frame with that other cross, the straight handlebar. They represent Jesus with his hands spread on the handlebars, and it is worth mentioning in this connection that Jesus rode lying flat on his back in order to reduce his air resistance.
Note also that the frame or cross was made of wood, just as wheels are to this day.
A few people have insinuated falsely that Jesus's machine was a draisienne , an unlikely mount for a hill-climbing contest. According to the old cyclophile hagiographers, St. Briget, St. Gregory of Tours, and St. Irene, the cross was equipped with adevice which they name suppedaneum. There is no need to be a great scholar to translate this as "pedal."
Lipsius, Justinian, Bosius, and Erycius Puteanus describe an other accessory which one still finds, according to Cornelius Curtius in 1643, on Japanese crosses: a protuberance of leather or wood on the shaft which the rider sits astride -- manifestly the seat or saddle.
This general description, furthermore, suits the definition of a bicycle current among the Chinese: "A little mule which is led by the ears and urged along by showering it with kicks."
We shall abridge the story of the race itself, for it has been narrated in detail by specialized works and illustrated by sculpture and painting visible in monuments built to house such art. There are fourteen turns in the difficult Golgotha course. Jesus took his first spill at the third turn. His mother, who was in the stands, became alarmed.
His excellent trainer, Simon the Cyrenian, who but for the thorn accident would have been riding out in front to cut the wind, carried the machine.
Jesus, though carrying nothing, perspired heavily. It is not certain whether a female spectator wiped his brow, but we know that Veronica, a girl reporter, got a good shot of him with her Kodak.
The second spill came at the seventh turn on some slippery pavement. Jesus went down for the third time at the eleventh turn, skidding on a rail.
The Israelite demimondaines waved their handkerchiefs at the eighth.
The deplorable accident familiar to us all took place at the twelfth turn. Jesus was in a dead heat at the time with the thieves. We know that he continued the race airborne -- but that is another story
While it's true that life often imitates art, it's odd that your life imitates J.G. Ballards' avant-garde fiction piece "The Assassination Of JFK Considered As A Downhill Motor Race."
That's hilarious and weirdly profound at the same time. Where is it from?
While it's true that life often imitates art, it's odd that your life imitates J.G. Ballards' avant-garde fiction piece "The Assassination Of JFK Considered As A Downhill Motor Race."
That's hilarious and weirdly profound at the same time. Where is it from?
More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
Representation? pff, why are there women in video games anyway? It's not right to hit women; they're weaker. Make them trannies or something; everyone's fine with beating up trannies, right?
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Representation? pff, why are there women in video games anyway? It's not right to hit women; they're weaker. Make them trannies or something; everyone's fine with beating up trannies, right?
If you're referring to Poison, apparently she was always supposed to be a transwoman. Still not a terribly sensitive portrayal, but her sex (as in, physical sex, not mental gender) was never changed.
More people have said that and been killed than there are thorium decay products.
You mean Poison was a MAN all along??? :O All those times I said he was sexy, I was just being facetious. I knew he looked kind of like a man! A man can only wear so thick a disguise.
You mean Poison was a MAN all along??? :O All those times I said he was sexy, I was just being facetious. I knew he looked kind of like a man! A man can only wear so thick a disguise.
Miko I don't understand what you're getting at here.
You mean Poison was a MAN all along??? :O All those times I said he was sexy, I was just being facetious. I knew he looked kind of like a man! A man can only wear so thick a disguise.
Miko I don't understand what you're getting at here.
Sounds like she's mocking those who refuse to acknowledge that she's, indeed, female.
You mean Poison was a MAN all along??? :O All those times I said he was sexy, I was just being facetious. I knew he looked kind of like a man! A man can only wear so thick a disguise.
Miko I don't understand what you're getting at here.
Sounds like she's mocking those who refuse to acknowledge that she's, indeed, female.
I thought that was fairly clear...
I just want to know what she's trying to accomplish here.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
I feel weird...I suspect class will be canceled tomorrow, and right now I'm just kind of enjoying lying down under a blanket...
Comments
t. bovine expert
do they make CHOCOLAT
But I made it home safely
*hugs* ^_^
I saw the AVGN try to play those
Stage 1: At the Foot of Youkai Mountain
BGM: A God that Misses People ~ Romantic Fall
Boss: Symbol of Abundance and Harvest, Aki Minoriko
BGM: Because Princess Inada is Scolding Me
Scars of the Gods
Stage 2: The Great Youkai Forest
BGM: The Road of the Misfortune God ~ Dark Road
Boss: Nagashi-bina of the Hidden God, Kagiyama Hina
BGM: Dark Side of Fate
The Flawless Fortress
Stage 3: The Untrodden Valley
BGM: The Gensokyo the Gods Loved
Boss: Super Youkai Warhead, Kawashiro Nitori
BGM: Akutagawa Ryuunosuke's "Kappa" ~ Candid Friend
The Mountain Fortress
Stage 4: The Waterfall of Nine Heavens
BGM: Fall of Fall ~ Autumnal Waterfall
Boss: Tengu Closest to the Village, Shameimaru Aya
BGM: The Youkai Mountain ~ Mysterious Mountain
A Wind Blows on the Sacred Mountain
Stage 5: The Moriya Shrine
BGM: The Primal Scene of Japan the Girl Saw
Boss: Deified Human of the Wind, Kochiya Sanae
BGM: Faith is for the Transient People
Ah, the God of Wind on the Grounds of the Divine Lake
Stage 6: The Wind God's Lake
BGM: Cemetery of Onbashira ~ Grave of Being
Boss: The Avatar of Mountains and Lakes, Yasaka Kanako
BGM: The Venerable Ancient Battlefield ~ Suwa Foughten Field
A Merry Japanese God
Extra Stage: Moriya Shrine (Inner Sanctum)
BGM: Tomorrow Will Be Special; Yesterday Was Not
Boss: The Highest of Native Gods, Moriya Suwako
BGM: Native Faith
Stage 1: Fantastic Blowhole
BGM: The Dark Blowhole
Boss: The Bright Net in the Dark Cave, Kurodani Yamame
BGM: The Sealed-Away Youkai ~ Lost Place
The Deep Road Connecting the Past and the Above Ground World
Stage 2: The Deep Road to Hell
BGM: The Bridge People No Longer Cross
Boss: The Jealousy beneath the Earth's Crust, Mizuhashi Parsee
BGM: Green-Eyed Jealousy
The Snowy Forgotten Former Capital
Stage 3: The Streets of a Former Hell
BGM: Walking the Streets of a Former Hell
Boss: The Spoken-of Anomalies, Strength, Disorder, and Spirits, Hoshiguma Yuugi
BGM: A Flower-Studded Sake Dish on Mt. Ooe
Those Terrifying Eyes Nobody Loves
Stage 4: Palace of the Earth Spirits
BGM: Heartfelt Fancy
Boss: The Girl Even the Onryou Fear, Komeiji Satori
BGM: Satori Maiden ~ 3rd Eye
Hellfires of Times Past
Stage 5: Remains of the Blazing Hell
BGM: Lullaby of Deserted Hell
Boss: Hell's Wheel Accident, Orin
BGM: Corpse Voyage ~ Be of Good Cheer!
The Tempestuous Second Sun
Stage 6: The Deepest Part of the Underground City
BGM: Hellfire Mantle
Boss: Scorching, Troublesome Divine Flame, Reiuji Utsuho
BGM: Solar Sect of Mystic Wisdom ~ Nuclear Fusion
The Lovely Visitor from Hell
Extra Stage: Moriya Shrine
BGM: Last Remote
Boss: The Closed Eyes of Love, Komeiji Koishi
BGM: Hartmann's Youkai Girl
Stage 1: The Road of Lingering Snow
BGM: At the End of Spring
Boss: The Little Dowser General, Nazrin
BGM: A Tiny, Tiny Clever Commander
The One-Eyed Monster Lurking in the Clouds
Stage 2: The Spring Clouds
BGM: The Sealed Cloud Route
Boss: The Cheery Forgotten Umbrella, Tatara Kogasa
BGM: Beware the Umbrella Left There Forever
The High-Speed Ruins and the Giant
Stage 3: The High-Speed Floating Ship
BGM: Sky Ruin
Boss: The Great Wheel that Guards and Is Guarded, Kumoi Ichirin & Unzan
BGM: The Traditional Old Man and the Stylish Girl
The Unfortunate Captain of the Holy Palanquin
Stage 4: Inside the Palanquin Ship
BGM: Interdimensional Voyage of a Ghostly Passenger Ship
Boss: The Ghost Left from the Shipwreck, Murasa Minamitsu
BGM: Captain Murasa
The Red and Black Seal of the Underworld
Stage 5: Makai (above Hokkai)
BGM: Provincial Makai City Esoteria
Boss: The Disciple of Bishamonten, Toramaru Shou
BGM: The Tiger-Patterned Bishamonten
The Nun who Overcame the Eight Sufferings
Stage 6: Hokkai
BGM: The Fire of Hokkai
Boss: The Great Sealed Magician, Hijiri Byakuren
BGM: Emotional Skyscraper ~ Cosmic Mind
Unidentified Flying Fantastic Object
Stage EX: The Night Sky
BGM: UFO Romance in the Night Sky
Boss: The Unidentified Fantastic Flying Girl, Houjuu Nue
BGM: Heian Alien
i feel like Imi with regards to pronouns
i went out drinking with friends and my phone stopped working :(
i will go to the Orange shop tomorrow, i hope they can fix it