You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Have you seen the reviews of the latest quPRNj movie
Okay people, sit your asses down and shut your pie holes. I’ve got places to go and people more important than you to see, because I happen to be a scientist and we scientists have a tendency to be very busy and important people. If you’re out there in the folding chairs, that means that you're the new guys. Bottom of the totem pole. But, it also means that you passed the entrance exams. Welcome to the SPC. From this moment onward, your job is very, very simple: you are going to punch sharks.
In the face.
You will punch sharks. When not punching sharks, you will be planning on punching sharks. You will be developing new ways to punch sharks. You will read about punching sharks. You will write about punching sharks. You will study punching sharks. You will dream about punching sharks. You will jump the shark. You will collect and contain paranormal objects, and then use them to beat up sharks.
Punching sharks is your life.
You may be asking yourself “Self, how am I to punch these sharks?” With your fists.
And you may ask yourself “Self, what if I am bitten by a shark? I am unsure of what to do.” Go see an alchemist.
And you may say to yourself “Self, my teeth have become shark-like, in the sense that they have all turned into sharks!” Good, now start punching them.
It’s an important job, mark my words. There are people out there, many people who just don’t understand why. They don’t realize how important our job is. You will be challenged, you will be mocked, you will be insulted, but you cannot lose sight of the goal: your fist in a shark's face.
Several years ago, a former employee asked me “Why do we punch sharks?” You know what I said to him?
“Sir, do you hate science? Are you a science-hating shark-hugger? Do you approve of the non-science shark agenda?" He said no, he wasn’t.
I punched him the face anyway, because he was clearly a closet shark. Because that’s what we fucking do at the SPC.
When you all came in here, there was a copy of Sun Tzu’s The Art of Punching Sharks on your chair. You are all to have read that by the time you report in tomorrow morning. Now get out of here. Those sharks aren’t going to punch themselves.
It is a baffling fear-mongering piece about Rock and Roll released in 1999.
Batman has to hole himself up in a room and listen to nothing but classic Rock to finally understand the villain's plan, like he's taking LSD in an Alan Moore story or something.
Maybe. It's more like he acts like an imperious expert when he admits when called out on screwing up that he's really just a very devoted fan whose research tends to be on the spotty side. If he were less smug, this would be less of a problem.
The most annoying part is that it seems to be mostly schtick. Were he simply getting up and discussing this stuff on technical terms without trying to be funny, I think that he would at least be less annoying.
Loud angry reviewers tend to bother me, much like loud angry comedians tend to bother me. Quiet angry people are a different matter, as are loud positive people; both can be hit or miss. Quiet introspective people are fun, though; when they do get genuinely irritated about something, it is usually quiet interesting.
(Incidentally, I think that's what made Todd in the Shadows' most recent worst list a lot less fun than usual: The bitterness level was off the charts. He was able to work in some amusing quips, but damn.)
Linkara's views on Comic Book Death are as so: It should not be done at the top of a hat. Every character has limitless potential in the hands of a good writer, and it's pointless to kill a character only to resurrect them when someone else realizes that potential.
The angriest that I've ever seen him was when Cry For Justice killed off a little girl, the daughter of Arsenal (formerly Speedy, Green Arrow's plucky sidekick), as she, a civilian, was unlikely to be resurrected by Comic Book Magicks, and her death was simply a bit of extra salt in the wound, to give the destruction of a city meaning. Arguably, that's the worst kind of comic book death; that's what gets women stuffed in refrigerators.
I have no great love for what Linkara has become, largely because he's become more vitriolic as time goes by, and I doubt that he's particularly skilled in his field (I believe his importance is due mostly to the dearth of others in his genre), but I agree on him on that point.
Comments
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
what gives
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
(I know that was forever ago but still. Poor Zesty's terrified.)
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
it possibly wasn't the smartest plan
is Linkara always this irritating?
i can't watch this
or not exactly yells, but... he's very loud
watching him feels like having someone get really angry and in your face about a comic book, which is not an enjoyable experience for me
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Nom nom nom nom nom nom.