You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
This plays when my clock has stopped working. Not good, I can tell you that. It has to be fixed within 5 hours, or the timespell i've surrounded earth in, will collapse, and it'll quickly crumble away. The only reason it doesn't happen, is because i've stopped our planet in a certain timecyclus. Geologists will say that it's those tectonian plates, or whatever. It's true, in a sense. but if my clock stops working, Earth's core will just melt it all away.
And Robin would be all, "Holy Johann Tetzel! That means he got heads and tails in alternating groups. Three heads, three tails, one head, three tails, three heads, one tail, two heads, one tail, one head, one tail, three heads, and so on. This makes a numerical sequence; going as follows:
And Batman would be all, "wait a minute! I, as Bruce Wayne, once wrote an essay with a paragraph that I think the usages of the letter 's' and 'o' would correspond to that letter sequence. So, three 's', three 'o', one 's', three 'o', three 's', one 'o', two 's', one 'o', one 's', one 'o', three 's', and so on! Look up my scholarly articles, Robin, I'm sure we'll find it!"
And then Robin would get out his bat-essay-book and use his SUPER READING SPEED to find the paragraph, which goes
"This is a sadly underrated but nearly-perfect work written by the Roman moralist and Orator Cicero in 54 b.c. This date is five years before Julius Caesar becomes consul and starts the end of the Roman Republic (this is a time of social upheaval, of ambitious men, it's the end of an era); and this date is significant because Cicero sets his story in 149 B.C, another time of ambitious men and social change. Clearly, Cicero wants his audience to make the connection between the two times almost a hundred years apart; and to apply the moral teachings (the greatest duty, says Scipio Africanus, is to aid, save, and protect the commonwealth; it is the way to a greater life. Nothing is better to the greatest authority than the political assemblies. Moral behavior has undeniable rewards, and this life is insignificant, even Rome is insignificant, compared to the world) to their own lives. Scipio Africanus warns against personal ambition, short-sightedness, and the pursuit of human glory. Cicero, through this parable, is urging his audience to serve the commonwealth itself instead of their own selfish interests; and is urging them to emulate Scipio the younger by stabilizing Rome in these desperate times of upheaval"
Robin says, "Holy Pompey Magnus! That's really a powerful paragraph! So, to make it easier for me, I'll have to highlight the 'o' and 's' to better see the pattern!
"This is a sadly underrated but nearly-perfect work written by the Roman moralist and Orator Cicero in 54 b.c. This date is five years before Julius Caesar becomes consul and starts the end of the Roman Republic (this is a time of social upheaval, of ambitious men, it's the end of an era); and this date issignificant because Cicerosets hisstory in 149 B.C, another time of ambitious men and social change. Clearly, Cicero wants his audience to make the connection between the two times almost a hundred years apart; and to apply the moral teachings (the greatest duty, saysScipio Africanus, is to aid, save, and protect the commonwealth; it is the way to a greater life. Nothing is better to the greatest authority than the political assemblies. Moral behavior has undeniable rewards, and this life is insignificant, even Rome is insignificant, compared to the world) to their own lives. Scipio Africanus warns against personal ambition, short-sightedness, and the pursuit of human glory. Cicero, through this parable, is urging his audience toserve the commonwealth itself instead of their own selfish interests; and is urging them to emulate Scipio the younger by stabilizing Rome in these desperate timesof upheaval."
And Robin would be all "Holy Descartes! Batman's right! This means Two-face's message of coin-flipping's a deliberate reference to your essay! The riddler knows you're Bruce Wayne!"
So Batman would be all,"Robin, get my bat-forgetting-spray" and Robin would be all "we've bat-forgetting-spray? Wouldn't that've been useful in adventures before? Where even is the bat-forgetting spray?"
"It is a matter of grave importance that Fairy tales should be respected.... Whosoever alters them to suit his own opinions, whatever they are, is guilty, to our thinking, of an act of presumption, and appropriates to himself what does not belong to him." -- Charles Dickens
And batman would be all, "Robin, I don't remember where the Bat-Forgetting-Spray is. Which means we have it, because if we didn't have it, I would'nt forget where it wasn't; because it wouldn't be making me forget. So, we just have to look for it". And then they find it, Yay!
And they go to Two-face / The Riddler's hideout (Cause those two guys are bros and like to hang out at the same hideout) but he's not there! Oh noes!
And then Batman is all like, "Wait! The Janus Cafe! Named after a Roman God with two-face! Two-face! We need to go to the Janus Cafe!" so they go to the Janus Cafe, but they don't find Two-face
And Robin is all like, "wait, remember the sequence "3, 3, 1, 3, 3, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 3, 2, 1, 4, 1, 4, 4, 2, 2, 2, 4, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 5, 1, 2, 1, 1, 3, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 2, 3, 2, 5, 1, 2, 5, 2, 1, 4, 2, 1, 1, 4, 4, 3, 1, 1, 2, 2, 2, 5, 1, 1, 2, 1, 1, 3, 1? That must be fingering for this here piano Like a piano key! It's a key to open the lock".
And Batman would be, "The most common scale is cdefgab, so I'll start with my right hand on middle c and play in that key. So E, E, C, E, E, C, D, C, C, C, E, D, D, C, C, E, D, C, F, C, F, F, D, D, D, F, C, C, C, D, D, G, C, D, C, C, E, C, D, C, C, C, D, E, D, G, C, D, G, D, C, F, D, C, C, F, F, E, C, C, D, D, D, G, C, C, D, C, C, E, C?
But it wouldn't work! It would just make a trap door open and close under Robin, making Robin Disappear! "Oh noes! Cries Batman? Where's Robin?" And then the riddler says "What do you get when you drop an organ down a mine shaft?" and then, to help, he drops a spare lung down an abandoned mineshaft that is somehow in the same room. And then the Riddler would disappear.
And Batman would be all "Wait, not that kind of organ! But I can't figure out the answer?"
And then batman would be all, "Wait! What do you get when you drop an organ down a mine shaft? A Flat Miner! Oh no! Two face and the Riddler are going to drop the world's biggest organ on top of Robin now that they've caught him, unless I do whatever they say! Also, two-face. Two. Two hands! I have two hands! I should play with both hands, and this alternating notes is which notes I should play with each hand! So ECED becomes EE for right hand and CD for left! So:
Right hand: E, C, E,D, C, E, D, C, D, F, F, D, D, C, C, D, C, C, E, D, C, D, D, C, G, C, D, C, F, C, D, D, C, D, C, C Left hand: E, E, C, C, C, D, C, E, C, C, F, D, F, C, D, G, D, C, C, C, C, E, G, D, D, F, C, F, E, C, D, G, C, C, E
Also, if I know two-face, there's a double-meaning here. A flat minor. I'm supposed to play in A flat minor!"
Left hand: B, B, A♭, A♭, A♭, B♭,A♭ , B, A♭, A♭, D♭, B♭, D♭, A♭, B♭, E, B♭, A♭, A♭, A♭, A♭, B, E, B♭, B♭, D♭, A♭, D♭, B, A♭, B♭, E, A♭, A♭, B,
And it works! A secret passageway opens, and Batman runs through it, beating up goons and eventually getting to Robin, saving him from being crushed by the world's largest Organ!
And in the sequel, in keeping with the Rome theme, they would be transported back to ancient Rome and they meet Vespertiliovir, who, with Cicero, fights the evil that is Caesar. Caesar transports himself back to modern day, and it ends with a shocking cliffhanger of Perry White saying "Great Caesar's Ghost!" and then it ends.
It is supposed to be picked up in another issue, later, and was supposed to become a fun series of batman in its own right, but it sold so poorly they just left it at that. Copies of this book are worth negative eight dollars on Ebay and mark you as a Grade A Dweeb.
The only good use for this comic book is taking off the cover and using it to cover up your Action Comics #1 so other people don't steal it.
The really fun part was finding that paragraph and then highlighting all the 'o' and 's', and then writing the whole "heads, tails" sequence. That was very very productive.
But I mean ,it's not that inaccurate. Cornball jokes, deathtraps, thefts of the world biggest X, random trivia and endless idealism about citizenship and society's ability to be improved. Insane deductions, trap doors, and it ends with a stupid joke.
Also, I love how Batman can completely ignore that in piano fingering, the thumb is Finger 1 on both hands, so he should be playing a completely different thing with his left hand.
All this comic needs is a DINASAUR, a GORILA, and a scantily clad lady on the cover.
also I now have asymmetrical glasses. The arm on the right side is silver (instead of dark red like the rest of the frame) and has a large pin sticking out of it.
Comments
so much envy
I miss the old Batman thing where there was all this awesome bat-logic stuff, like they'd find a video of Two Face flipping a coin, going "Heads, heads, heads, tails, tails, tails, heads, tails, tails, tails, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, tails, tails, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, tails, tails, tails, heads, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, tails, tails, tails, tails, heads, tails, heads, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, tails, tails, heads, tails, tails, heads, tails, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, tails, tails, tails, tails, tails, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, tails, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, tails, tails, tails, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, tails, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, tails".
And Batman would be all, "Wait! He said, 'Heads heads heads, tails tails tails, heads, tails tails tails, heads
heads heads, tails, heads heads, tails, heads, tails, heads heads heads,
tails tails, heads heads, tails, heads, tails tails tails, heads heads,
tails, heads heads heads heads, tails, heads heads heads heads, tails
tails tails tails, heads heads, tails tails, heads heads, tails tails
tails tails, heads, tails, heads heads, tails tails, heads heads heads
heads heads, tails, heads heads, tails, heads, tails tails tails, heads,
tails tails, heads, tails, heads, tails tails, heads heads heads, tails
tails, heads heads heads heads heads, tails, heads heads, tails tails tails
tails tails, heads heads, tails, heads heads heads heads, tails tails,
heads, tails, heads heads heads heads, tails tails tails tails, heads
heads heads, tails, heads, tails tails, heads heads, tails tails, heads
heads heads heads heads, tails, heads, tails tails, heads, tails, heads
heads heads, tails'!"
And Robin would be all, "Holy Johann Tetzel! That means he got heads and tails in alternating groups. Three heads, three tails, one head, three tails, three heads, one tail, two heads, one tail, one head, one tail, three heads, and so on. This makes a numerical sequence; going as follows:
3, 3, 1, 3, 3, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 3, 2, 1, 4, 1, 4, 4, 2, 2, 2, 4, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 5, 1, 2, 1, 1, 3, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 2, 3, 2, 5, 1, 2, 5, 2, 1, 4, 2, 1, 1, 4, 4, 3, 1, 1, 2, 2, 2, 5, 1, 1, 2, 1, 1, 3, 1.
And Batman would be all, "wait a minute! I, as Bruce Wayne, once wrote an essay with a paragraph that I think the usages of the letter 's' and 'o' would correspond to that letter sequence. So, three 's', three 'o', one 's', three 'o', three 's', one 'o', two 's', one 'o', one 's', one 'o', three 's', and so on! Look up my scholarly articles, Robin, I'm sure we'll find it!"
And then Robin would get out his bat-essay-book and use his SUPER READING SPEED to find the paragraph, which goes
"This is a sadly underrated but nearly-perfect work written by the Roman moralist and Orator Cicero in 54 b.c. This date is five years before Julius Caesar becomes consul and starts the end of the Roman Republic (this is a time of social upheaval, of ambitious men, it's the end of an era); and this date is significant because Cicero sets his story in 149 B.C, another time of ambitious men and social change. Clearly, Cicero wants his audience to make the connection between the two times almost a hundred years apart; and to apply the moral teachings (the greatest duty, says Scipio Africanus, is to aid, save, and protect the commonwealth; it is the way to a greater life. Nothing is better to the greatest authority than the political assemblies. Moral behavior has undeniable rewards, and this life is insignificant, even Rome is insignificant, compared to the world) to their own lives. Scipio Africanus warns against personal ambition, short-sightedness, and the pursuit of human glory. Cicero, through this parable, is urging his audience to serve the commonwealth itself instead of their own selfish interests; and is urging them to emulate Scipio the younger by stabilizing Rome in these desperate times of upheaval"
Robin says, "Holy Pompey Magnus! That's really a powerful paragraph! So, to make it easier for me, I'll have to highlight the 'o' and 's' to better see the pattern!
moralist and Orator Cicero in 54 b.c. This date is five years before
Julius Caesar becomes consul and starts the end of the Roman Republic
(this is a time of social upheaval, of ambitious men, it's the end of an
era); and this date is significant because Cicero sets his story in 149
B.C, another time of ambitious men and social change. Clearly, Cicero
wants his audience to make the connection between the two times almost a
hundred years apart; and to apply the moral teachings (the greatest
duty, says Scipio Africanus, is to aid, save, and protect the
commonwealth; it is the way to a greater life. Nothing is better to the
greatest authority than the political assemblies. Moral behavior has
undeniable rewards, and this life is insignificant, even Rome is
insignificant, compared to the world) to their own lives. Scipio
Africanus warns against personal ambition, short-sightedness, and the
pursuit of human glory. Cicero, through this parable, is urging his
audience to serve the commonwealth itself instead of their own selfish
interests; and is urging them to emulate Scipio the younger by
stabilizing Rome in these desperate times of upheaval."
And Robin would be all "Holy Descartes! Batman's right! This means Two-face's message of coin-flipping's a deliberate reference to your essay! The riddler knows you're Bruce Wayne!"
So Batman would be all,"Robin, get my bat-forgetting-spray" and Robin would be all "we've bat-forgetting-spray? Wouldn't that've been useful in adventures before? Where even is the bat-forgetting spray?"
Alice Leanne (Hibblegibs)
Alice Viola (Honda)
Bat-Forgetting-Spray is. Which means we have it, because if we didn't
have it, I would'nt forget where it wasn't; because it wouldn't be
making me forget. So, we just have to look for it". And then they find
it, Yay!
And they go to Two-face / The Riddler's hideout (Cause those two guys are bros and like to hang out at the same hideout) but he's not there! Oh noes!
And
then Batman is all like, "Wait! The Janus Cafe! Named after a Roman
God with two-face! Two-face! We need to go to the Janus Cafe!" so they
go to the Janus Cafe, but they don't find Two-face
And Robin is all like, "wait, remember the sequence "3, 3, 1, 3, 3, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 3, 2, 2, 1, 1, 3, 2, 1, 4, 1, 4, 4, 2, 2,
2, 4, 1, 1, 1, 2, 2, 5, 1, 2, 1, 1, 3, 1, 2, 1, 1, 1, 2, 3, 2, 5, 1, 2,
5, 2, 1, 4, 2, 1, 1, 4, 4, 3, 1, 1, 2, 2, 2, 5, 1, 1, 2, 1, 1, 3, 1? That must be fingering for this here piano Like a piano key! It's a key to open the lock".
And Batman would be, "The most common scale is cdefgab, so I'll start with my right hand on middle c and play in that key. So E, E, C, E, E, C, D, C, C, C, E, D, D, C, C, E, D, C, F, C, F, F, D, D, D, F, C, C, C, D, D, G, C, D, C, C, E, C, D, C, C, C, D, E, D, G, C, D, G, D, C, F, D, C, C, F, F, E, C, C, D, D, D, G, C, C, D, C, C, E, C?
But it wouldn't work! It would just make a trap door open and close under Robin, making Robin Disappear! "Oh noes! Cries Batman? Where's Robin?" And then the riddler says "What do you get when you drop an organ down a mine shaft?" and then, to help, he drops a spare lung down an abandoned mineshaft that is somehow in the same room. And then the Riddler would disappear.
And Batman would be all "Wait, not that kind of organ! But I can't figure out the answer?"
And then batman would be all, "Wait! What do you get when you drop an organ down a mine shaft? A Flat Miner! Oh no! Two face and the Riddler are going to drop the world's biggest organ on top of Robin now that they've caught him, unless I do whatever they say! Also, two-face. Two. Two hands! I have two hands! I should play with both hands, and this alternating notes is which notes I should play with each hand! So ECED becomes EE for right hand and CD for left! So:
Right hand:
E, C, E, D, C, E, D, C, D, F, F, D,
D, C, C, D, C, C, E, D, C, D, D, C, G, C, D, C, F, C, D, D, C, D, C, C
Left hand:
E, E, C, C, C, D, C, E, C, C, F, D, F, C, D, G, D, C, C, C, C, E, G, D, D, F, C, F, E, C, D, G, C, C, E
Also, if I know two-face, there's a double-meaning here. A flat minor. I'm supposed to play in A flat minor!"
so
Righthand
B, A♭, B, B♭, A♭, B, B♭, A♭, B♭, D♭, D♭, B♭, B♭, A♭, A♭, B♭, A♭, A♭, B, B♭, A♭, B♭, B♭, A♭, E, A♭, B♭, A♭, D♭, A♭, B♭, B♭, A♭, B♭, A♭, A♭
Left hand:
B, B, A♭, A♭, A♭, B♭,A♭ , B, A♭, A♭, D♭, B♭, D♭, A♭, B♭, E, B♭, A♭, A♭, A♭, A♭, B, E, B♭, B♭, D♭, A♭, D♭, B, A♭, B♭, E, A♭, A♭, B,
And it works! A secret passageway opens, and Batman runs through it, beating up goons and eventually getting to Robin, saving him from being crushed by the world's largest Organ!
"Well, Batman, you know what I learned today?"
"What, Robin."
"If you don't C# you will B♭"
Haaaahaaahaa
It is supposed to be picked up in another issue, later, and was supposed to become a fun series of batman in its own right, but it sold so poorly they just left it at that. Copies of this book are worth negative eight dollars on Ebay and mark you as a Grade A Dweeb.
The only good use for this comic book is taking off the cover and using it to cover up your Action Comics #1 so other people don't steal it.
But I mean ,it's not that inaccurate. Cornball jokes, deathtraps, thefts of the world biggest X, random trivia and endless idealism about citizenship and society's ability to be improved. Insane deductions, trap doors, and it ends with a stupid joke.
Or maybe the powder is so potent that I did, and I forgot that I wrote it, and every time you read it, you forget about that scene when you read it.
heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, heads,
heads, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, tails,
tails, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads,
heads, heads, heads, tails, tails, tails, tails, heads, heads, tails,
tails, heads, heads, tails, tails, tails, tails, heads, tails, heads,
heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads,
heads, tails, heads, tails, tails, tails, heads, tails, tails, heads,
tails, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads, heads, tails, tails, heads,
heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, tails, tails, tails,
tails, tails, heads, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails,
tails, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, tails, tails,
tails, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails, tails, heads, heads,
tails, tails, heads, heads, heads, heads, heads, tails, heads, tails,
tails, heads, tails, heads, heads, heads, tails
to
Righthand
B, A♭, B, B♭, A♭, B, B♭, A♭, B♭, D♭, D♭, B♭, B♭, A♭, A♭, B♭, A♭, A♭, B, B♭, A♭, B♭, B♭, A♭, E, A♭, B♭, A♭, D♭, A♭, B♭, B♭, A♭, B♭, A♭, A♭
Left hand:
B, B, A♭, A♭, A♭, B♭,A♭ , B, A♭, A♭, D♭, B♭, D♭, A♭, B♭, E, B♭, A♭, A♭, A♭, A♭, B, E, B♭, B♭, D♭, A♭, D♭, B, A♭, B♭, E, A♭, A♭, B,
But to make it make sense, we have to add in a bunch of pages of Batman and Robin figuring it out. For the benefit of the audience.
All this comic needs is a DINASAUR, a GORILA, and a scantily clad lady on the cover.
[[http://absorbascon.blogspot.com/2006/04/why-gorillas-are-in-comic-books.html This is one of the best websites. Myrm, you should like it.]]
Possi8ly whatever weird part of my mind the "flat tire ladies" and "foot pie" came from.
this is not leading anywhere good (or is it?)
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
I did not feel so bad
I was high then
I did not feel so bad
hi heap, I got my glasses repaired today. The lovely people at the EyeCenter in the Wal-Mart in Lehighton replaced the broken ear rest for free.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead