They say if you teach a man to fish he'll eat for a lifetime, but they also say that to become a master you must defeat your teacher, so ask yourself if you want that hanging over your head before giving any fishing lessons.
The only thing that comes out of announcing suicide over the internet is people trying in-vain to help you, or getting banned.
It just don't make no sense.
If I really wanted to die, with above 80% certainty, I would never tell any of you. But don't assume the worst if I quit posting forever. Most likely it's because I got bored and had babies or something.
Speaking of things like suicide...I have a major problem. I laugh as a way of showing concern, or mourning. It's fucked up and I wished I could stop. Something horrible happens and I feel really sad, but instead of crying I just give this very dry and strangled laugh instead. I know things that make me feel horrible aren't actually making me laugh, these are things that do in fact hurt me....so why do I laugh? am I nervous or something?
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
@Idler: Now I'm imagining someone using dark magic to turn their fishing teacher into the world's largest catfish. Not sure whether they would have to be eaten or just catch-and-release, though.
Also, good afternoon.
^And my comment's timing was really bad. Sorry. I'm not really sure what to say.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Speaking of things like suicide...I have a major problem. I laugh as a way of showing concern, or mourning. It's fucked up and I wished I could stop. Something horrible happens and I feel really sad, but instead of crying I just give this very dry and strangled laugh instead. I know things that make me feel horrible aren't actually making me laugh, these are things that do in fact hurt me....so why do I laugh? am I nervous or something?
I think a lot of people do that, for different reasons. Laughter seems to be a catch-all response to things we don't know how to react to--if you think about it, the reason a lot of jokes are funny is that they catch us off-guard. Or maybe the horrible thing in question has some absurd aspect to it. Either way, it doesn't sound like that terrible a reaction to me. (It might be fucked up, sure, but it's a fucked-up-ness more common to humanity than you might think.)
Well I mean one of my close friends admitted to me that her babysitter molested her when she was younger and I never knew this about her. I was trying to make her feel better and let her cry onto my shoulder, and try to relate to her experience, but instead this guttural laugh began to build up and I was just sitting there thinking to myself "What the fuck is wrong with me? This isn't funny..." and the thing is, I don't really know if it's my dark humor or something even worse that made me do that. I feel genuinely empathetic with her, but that laughing just doesn't feel right.
I am a perfectly normal human being according to my therapists and my guidance counselor.
The only things I have problems with is suicidal thoughts, irrational fears of dying and death, paranoia of people's motives, some extremely warped social expectations, overtly hostile and violent fantasies that I wish to enact in real life, an extremely twisted sense of self-esteem, problems controlling or guiding my emotions, massive bouts of depression, unwarranted guilt and problems dealing with extremely stressful situations.
Comments
The best theme ever.
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B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
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It just don't make no sense.
If I really wanted to die, with above 80% certainty, I would never tell any of you. But don't assume the worst if I quit posting forever. Most likely it's because I got bored and had babies or something.
Speaking of things like suicide...I have a major problem. I laugh as a way of showing concern, or mourning. It's fucked up and I wished I could stop. Something horrible happens and I feel really sad, but instead of crying I just give this very dry and strangled laugh instead. I know things that make me feel horrible aren't actually making me laugh, these are things that do in fact hurt me....so why do I laugh? am I nervous or something?
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B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
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Disclaimer: This is a legit offer but its void in Canada and France
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B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
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Makes me feel like a bad bad person.
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B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
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I am a perfectly normal human being according to my therapists and my guidance counselor.
The only things I have problems with is suicidal thoughts, irrational fears of dying and death, paranoia of people's motives, some extremely warped social expectations, overtly hostile and violent fantasies that I wish to enact in real life, an extremely twisted sense of self-esteem, problems controlling or guiding my emotions, massive bouts of depression, unwarranted guilt and problems dealing with extremely stressful situations.
I could make up some more, though.
Which is sort of me, but I don't think I'm extreme enough to qualify for the label.
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B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
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B̤̺͍̰͕̺̠̕u҉̖͙̝̮͕̲ͅm̟̼̦̠̹̙p͡s̹͖ ̻T́h̗̫͈̙̩r̮e̴̩̺̖̠̭̜ͅa̛̪̟͍̣͎͖̺d͉̦͠s͕̞͚̲͍ ̲̬̹̤Y̻̤̱o̭͠u̥͉̥̜͡ ̴̥̪D̳̲̳̤o̴͙̘͓̤̟̗͇n̰̗̞̼̳͙͖͢'҉͖t̳͓̣͍̗̰ ͉W̝̳͓̼͜a̗͉̳͖̘̮n͕ͅt͚̟͚ ̸̺T̜̖̖̺͎̱ͅo̭̪̰̼̥̜ ̼͍̟̝R̝̹̮̭ͅͅe̡̗͇a͍̘̤͉͘d̼̜ 
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