The Trash Heap of the Heapers' Hangout

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  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I said "no" to objecting.
  • Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
    Sorry about that, Superglobe. I tend to say things like "Do you mind..." or "Does anyone object..." a lot even though it throws people off. My mistake.
  • Oh don't apologize, it's entirely on me.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Junie B. Jones
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Back into the past

    Again
  • Gotta get back

    back to the past

    Samurai Jack

    wha-watchout!

  • for any of you who might care, I have made some progress on my homebrew creatures and their PC Playable counterparts, though it is still unfinished.

    Behold:

    Neinvolken
    CR:
    XP:
    Neutral Small Construct
    Init
    Senses: Darkvision: 30ft.
    AC:
    HP:
    Fortitude: Reflex: Will:
    DR: Immune: construct traits
    Speed: 30ft.
    Melee: Slam (1d3), Charge Weapon (see table)
    Special Attacks:
    Spell-Like Abilities: any two Lvl. 0 (at will) and any Lvl. 1 (twice/day) on Wizard spell-list, as determined by DM.
    Ability Scores: Str 11, Dex 8, Con —, Int 8, Wis 8, Cha 1
    Base AtK: CMB CMD
    Languages: Neinvolken speak the languages of their creators, as well as Common. Though they rarely say much of anything.
    SQ: Charge Items
    Environment: Any Indoors
    Organization: Solitary, Pair, or Trove (3-8), or Horde (3-6 + 1d4 Clay Golems)
    Treasure: Charge Items

    Special Abilities:

    Recall Charge: At will, as a move action, a Neinvolk may recall any of its Charge Items to its hand. If neither hand is free, the item appears on the ground as near to the Neinvolk as possible.

    Charge Affinity: A Neinvolk is treated as proficient with any melee weapons in its Charge.

    Awakening: Due to how they are constructed. There is a cumulative 2% chance that any time a Neinvolk is exposed to something that resonates with a sapient soul (powerful music or poetry are the most universal of these, though other things may be chosen at the DM's discretion) it "awakens", and gains self-awareness. Awakened Neinvolken gain the "Living Construct" subtype and a constitution score equal to their [???].

    ---------

    Neinvolken are small constructs that resemble young humans often built by apprentice wizards who want to guard their various magical items, but lack the skills to create a true golem. Neinvolken do not require the binding of elementals to function, rather, a miniscule piece of the caster's own soul is used to power these small constructs. Neinvolken can speak, but only a few, pre-programmed phrases (the most popular of these simply being "no", and "do not take these items"). All Neinvolken are given a "charge" upon their creation. One or more items they are to prevent from being taken by anyone but their creator (or anyone who is given permission by their creator). Neinvolken form a bond with their charges, allowing them to recall any of the charged items to their hands at will. This can make Neinvolken dangerous in certain situations and they should not be underestimated.

    A Neinvolk's charge is 1d8 items on the Random Magic Item Generation Table plus the following

    Charge
    1 -- Rapier
    2 --Mace, Heavy
    3 -- Mace, Light
    4 --Morningstar
    5 --Short Spear
    6 --Longsword
    7--Warhammer
    8 --Scimitar


    CL 4 Price 5,000 gp
    Construction
    Requirements Craft Construct, Use Magical Item, geas/quest, major
    creation, transmute flesh to stone, creator must be caster level
    4th; Skill Craft () DC 20; Cost 18,000 gp

    Awakened Neinvolken

    CR:
    XP:
    Small Construct (Living Construct)
    Init
    AC:
    HP:
    Fortitude: Reflex: Will:
    DR: Living Construct
    Speed: 30ft.
    Natural Weapons: Slam (1d3),
    Special Attacks:
    Spell-Like Abilities: any two Lvl. 0 (at will) and any Lvl. 1 (3/day) on Wizard spell-list.
    Ability Scores: +2 Charisma, +2 Intelligence, -2 Wisdom (Awakened Neinvolken are intelligent and naturally charming, but naive due to their artificial nature)
    Base AtK: CMB CMD
    Languages: Neinvolken speak Common. Neinvolken with exceptional intelligence scores may also choose from any of the following bonus languages: Elven, Gnomish, Draconic, Ignan, Terran, Aquan, Auran, Infernal, Celestial
    SQ:
    Treasure: Standard NPC

    The Awakened Neinvolken stand with the ranks of the Warforged as some of the few creatures that belong to the odd subtype known as the "living construct". Often 'brought to life' by strong displays of emotion, many Neinvolken choose to pursue careers as bards, learning evermore about the emotions that gave them the spark of true life. Others follow in the footsteps of their physical creators, taking up paths of wizardry or more specialized spellcasting. The Awakened Neinvolken find themselves at an odd place in a society that does not particularly care about them, many find jobs as assistants to spellcasters in big cities. Others pursue the bard path and become musicians, or even poets. The more martially-inclined may join militaries or mercenary companies. Others, yearning for a simpler life, simply settle down and live as best they can among their own kind. Awakened Neinvolken have even been known to "reproduce" by crafting more of their kind, and deliberately awakening them.

    Biology:

    The moment a Neinvolken awakens, the magic ties that bind it to its Charge disappear. However, a strong mental compulsion may remain. As such, many Neinvolken choose to keep their Charges, claiming them as their own (unfortunate for the spellcaster who created them). Some Neinvolken are even effectively mute, unable to learn language beyond the few phrases they were originally programmed to say. Neinvolken do not need to sleep, but due to their human form, and their desire to be more "like people", they often do anyway, or at least meditate.

  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    let's be gay
  • The sadness will last forever.
    Yes, let's be gay! :3
  • no i don't wanna be gay

    How do you hide text behind a black bar?
  • edited 2012-02-04 00:44:18
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Use the highlight button like so.
  • The sadness will last forever.
    I don't want to go to sleep..curse those happy pills.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Vriskonymous Userket
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Serket Communications's merger with Maryam Media did not go as smoothly as expected; the two companies' merger was considered illegal by many and the FCC was lobbied not to approve the merger.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Where does Leijon Entertainment come into all this?
  • The sadness will last forever.


    Sweet.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Leijon Entertainment was eventually purchased by Vantas Communications, which was in talks to merge into Pyrope Publishing.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I'm tired.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I'm not.
  • My hands are cold. I need to feel the warmth of a human body or something.
  • I'm still working on mu Xubuntu OS X skin.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ^^*hugs*
  • The sadness will last forever.
    What's lost can never be saved..
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    ^ Pinkamena Diane Pie
  • The sadness will last forever.
    CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST
  • Urgh, why are tropers so obsessed with The Nostalgia Critic?



    New theme seems to work well, now onto the dock....
  • Cannibalism is a very intimate act in a strange kind of way.
  • The sadness will last forever.
    Cannibal..intimate act? What the shit?
  • Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast
    Morning

    What is the Telos of Cannibalism?
  • edited 2012-02-04 02:15:31

    Indeed.



    ...Dammit Idler.


    ^It's kinda like the Telos Of Eros.... It involves Slurpee.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I was obsessed with The Nostalgia Critic when I was 18, though after my initial binge I lost interest.

    also "purity" is stupid
  • The sadness will last forever.
    You people...
  • "Dammit"? Why dammit?
  • The sadness will last forever.
    Telos

    TELOS
  • edited 2012-02-04 02:17:00

    ^^^Oh us.




    ^^You got me thinking about cannibalism again. >.<


    ^OF EROS.
  • The sadness will last forever.
    Derphood.
  • Well, in cannibalism you are literally making someone else a part of you. That's the rationale between a cannibalistic murderer in an episode of Criminal Minds. It's an interesting thing to think about.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I used to watch the Nostalgia Critic a lot back in 2008-2009, though I don't really care about TGWTG as a whole anymore.
  • The sadness will last forever.
    Me neither though I still like Cinema Snob.
  • edited 2012-02-04 02:19:20

    ^^^ WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?????



    I was never a fan.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    So I'm not the only one whose mind gets easily poisoned by mentions of things like cannibalism. Good to know.
  • Why do you want to avoid thinking of cannibalism? Is it a phobia for you?
  • Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast
    So what is the Telos of Eros then?
  • The sadness will last forever.
    Cannibalism? That's gross.
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