So, OHMYGOSHKITTENINTROUBLE wait no, that's just the sun; but man are you paranoid about KITTENS. You're so paranoid for your OHMYGOSHISTHATALANDSHARK wait, no, that's a cloud; that's you're cranky all the time and hate everybody except your totally awesome girls who are PROTECTINGKITTENS.
And then Lion comes and is like "Hi, can we be friends again?" and OHMYGOSHGONNAEATMYBABIES so you try to eat his eye but you end up just scratching his face and he runs away. And you just know he's going to EATKITTENS so you get your awesome girls to take care of your kittens from STUPIDLIONGUYIHATENOW.
Wait, that horizon looks suspicious. Why is it so flat-like? Looks like it would be a good idea to randomly move your babies dozens of miles for no discernible reason other than PROTECTKITTENS PROTECTKITTENS PROTECTKITTENS .
And now your babies are crying because they're scared of their daddy; and one of them is trying to walk and OHMYGOSHWHATISTHAT oh wait, that's just her stepping on grass, nothing to be worried about and WAITAMINUTEITSALION oh no, that's just your shadow.
Gosh, it's hard work to PROTECTKITTENSPROTECTKITTENSPROTECTKITTENS.
Yarrun, you just gave me the mental image of a lion on Zoloft. I don't know why, but I find that extremely amusing. Maybe it's the thought of animals with issues of the mind that is funny, or maybe it's the idea of a drugstore in the savannah.
You know who really need counseling? Hippos. Angry at everything, dangerous, space issues. Tons of problems.
And the drugstore is run by tribal medicine men, and in return for the drugs, the patients keep away from the crops and defend the village against other animals.
Yarrun, I'm not sure there's enough ritalin in the world for Meerkats. And I shudder to imagine what counseling could get through the skins of a Hippo.
Man, we should really make this a story that we write together sometime; like Machine Gun Cupid.
So, baby lions;
mommy mommyMOmmY MAMA MAMA MOMMA MOMMY
You love your mommy so much, she's so soft and warm and licks you to stimulate your bowell movements. You love it when your bowells aren't all clogged up.
And then big sister tried to walk; but that's scary; everyone knows that rolling around is the way to go.
Daddy is scary; you don't think he'd ever lick you to stimulate your bowells.
Aww man, Other Kitten That I Lay Next To got all the good milk.
^ That's some heavy material, man. Not 101 stuff. But I commend you for your dedication to the education of the younger generation in such a rigorous manner.
Comic Sans is also the font of whimsical people on the net (especially the kind that write in Really Huge Text), and of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff. So I can't hate on it too much. XD
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Comments
And that includes atheists and agnostics.
Not before I hitchhike to Connecticut and steal it off of Dan Barrett's body with the masters for The Unnatural World.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
So, OHMYGOSHKITTENINTROUBLE wait no, that's just the sun; but man are you paranoid about KITTENS. You're so paranoid for your OHMYGOSHISTHATALANDSHARK wait, no, that's a cloud; that's you're cranky all the time and hate everybody except your totally awesome girls who are PROTECTINGKITTENS.
And then Lion comes and is like "Hi, can we be friends again?" and OHMYGOSHGONNAEATMYBABIES so you try to eat his eye but you end up just scratching his face and he runs away. And you just know he's going to EATKITTENS so you get your awesome girls to take care of your kittens from STUPIDLIONGUYIHATENOW.
Wait, that horizon looks suspicious. Why is it so flat-like? Looks like it would be a good idea to randomly move your babies dozens of miles for no discernible reason other than PROTECTKITTENS PROTECTKITTENS PROTECTKITTENS
.
And now your babies are crying because they're scared of their daddy; and one of them is trying to walk and OHMYGOSHWHATISTHAT oh wait, that's just her stepping on grass, nothing to be worried about and WAITAMINUTEITSALION oh no, that's just your shadow.
Gosh, it's hard work to PROTECTKITTENSPROTECTKITTENSPROTECTKITTENS.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
What next, Wildebeasts on Ritalin?
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
You know who really need counseling? Hippos. Angry at everything, dangerous, space issues. Tons of problems.
And the drugstore is run by tribal medicine men, and in return for the drugs, the patients keep away from the crops and defend the village against other animals.
Man, we should really make this a story that we write together sometime; like Machine Gun Cupid.
So, baby lions;
mommy mommy MOmmY MAMA MAMA MOMMA MOMMY
You love your mommy so much, she's so soft and warm and licks you to stimulate your bowell movements. You love it when your bowells aren't all clogged up.
And then big sister tried to walk; but that's scary; everyone knows that rolling around is the way to go.
Daddy is scary; you don't think he'd ever lick you to stimulate your bowells.
Aww man, Other Kitten That I Lay Next To got all the good milk.
Hey, look, Auntie Lioness is coming over here!
I hope she brought dead gazelle!
Sweet dreams.
See you tomorrow.
May you all find what you are looking for. Good night, Heapsters, Hopers, and Haberdashers.
Resurgam.
bacon, maybe
-A singer for electronic ballads
-The guardian of The Cave of Bad Dreams nope.world
I have to say my experiences with the latter have been significantly more unsettling than the former.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
I can't believe I just got killed by my own ghost.
I have beaten my high score in DCSS again. I've also not yet died, somehow.
I've also gotten a rune. You only need three to win the game (hypothetically, anyway), so I'm quite pleased with myself.
I feel inexplicably validated.