The Trash Heap of the Heapers' Hangout

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  • People compare past Muslim immigration with the present, but this is
    wrong. Past immigrants were Christian Muslims who were persecuted by
    Islamic Muslims. They have no more ideals of jihad than any Christian.
    What we have problems with today is the mass immigration of radicalized
    Muslims, the ones who love their conservative teachings. You recognize
    them by their dress.


    ....
  • And so Satan is going to work towards reduction of the population and lowering cholesterol is good way of doing that.

    Satan's not really a master tactician, is he?
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • That's what happens when you let Barak Obama do your dirty work. (*Rimshot*)
  • When the Twin Towers collapsed do you know what was in the basement?
    [...] Lots of gold. Do you know where it is? [...] Nobody does. It
    disappeared. Did those buildings drop down to cover a great crime being
    committed? Somebody is taking all this gold out of the Twin Tower
    basement. Makes you wonder...

    About your mental health? Yes, yes it does.
  • Because when I wanna make a diversion, I run planes into buildings. How moronic.


    The first question any sane, self-loving woman would ask upon realizing
    that the vast majority of males are rapists is how to keep these rapists
    away from girls and women. The fact that so many women instead ask how
    to keep the males from being rapists is a manifestation of feminine
    masochism.

  • Not a hybrid rabbit-skink spirit
    Because all males are rapists, and all women are victims.

    Hey Naney, you want to go rape some women tonight? Since we're men, we must like it!
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    RAPE RAPE RAPE

    boring
  • Not a hybrid rabbit-skink spirit
    Oh good!

    Let's go rape some women! And then afterwards we can flirt with men, because that's the same thing as having sex with them or something!

    Also, let's drink some blood out of a human skull. I've always wanted to do that.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    How do you keep it from leaking out the eye sockets
  • Not a hybrid rabbit-skink spirit
    Leave the eyes in the sockets, of course
  • (About Obama)


    What I think is Even More Scary...Is the Way He Talks...Very Satan Tones in his Voice...Psychopath.

    What on Earth are 'Satan tones"? Like the Go'auld voice from Stargate?
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Satan Tones
  • Bugs don't have nostrils. Bugs breath through their skin through
    sphericals. I don't think you could even demonstrate, believe it or
    not, I don't think you could demonstrate bugs are alive!

    This man should not be allowed to talk to human beings.
  • The sadness will last forever.
    WTF..
  • Next time you feel like masturbating... please spare a thought for Jesus. Thank you.

    This one has to be sarcasm. There's just no way.
  • The sadness will last forever.
    O_o
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    Masturbating to Jesus...someone must do it, somewhere.
  • edited 2012-01-25 12:41:51
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    So I'm walking to class from my car

    And there's this construction equipment or something that sounds exactly like the TARDIS's cloister bell sounding continuously.

    Should I be concerned?
  • Maybe you can be the Doctor's next assistant and have sexual tension with him!
  • It's probably the other way around, the cloister bell is actually a sample of the sound made my that model of construction equipment.
  • edited 2012-01-25 11:50:43
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast
    Evening
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Wow...I think my IQ just dropped several points..

    "To really understand the history of evolution, we have to understand
    the author. Satan is the master-mind behind this false doctrine....Satan, in the form of the serpent, brought the doctrine of evolution to the Garden of Eden."

    Wait...so even if I where to humor young earth creationism, that means that Adam and Eve would have to pass down the teaching of evolution to someone who passed it on to someone else and this continued for well over five millennium before Darwin decided to blab this to everyone. 

    Who apparently never got the memo from Adam and Eve...or Satan... 
  • Justice: Yeah, even by creationist standards this makes no sense. I mean, how do you convince someone that they evolved from a series of different lifeforms when they've met the God that created them in person?
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    To be fair, It took all of a couple sentences from a talking snake to convince Eve that eating the fruit of knowledge was a "good thing" after her creator told her not to.

    I never pictured her as one you would equate with having good common sense.
  • Feh, Eve. Lilith is where it's at. Rawr.
  • edited 2012-01-25 15:04:32
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    Hell yes, it's comforting to know the first woman created was a domineering slut. 

    Why the Hell is Asmodeus  the Demon of lust anyways?

    I mean, we have Lilith, who fucked her way through Hell, and even came back for seconds with Adam and got it on with his murdering son.

    image

    Let's not forget the other angels of prostitution.

    Eisheth Zenunim,  the angel of whoredom, mother of the prostitution.

    image


    Naamah.

    image

    And Agrat Bat. image

    Also Azazel, who basically told women about cosmetics and jewelry, and also told people about shield, swords, knifes, and war. Kinda surprised he doesn't get one of the sins. 


  • There are angels of prostitution?
  • edited 2012-01-25 15:05:41
    The sadness will last forever.
    ^^ :3
  • Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast
    I'd tap those
  • TreTre
    edited 2012-01-25 15:14:07
    image
    Pitchfork Media? Fitting name, considering all they do is make condescending jabs at music that isn't even bad, just not hipster enough for them. Hell, maybe they ought to be called "Bitchfork", 'cuz that's they're favorite activity. Bitch, bitch, bitch.

    Also, in regards to those ladies up there,

    image
  • Pitchfork's reviews of things are decent. Everything else is THIS MUSIC I LIKE ISN'T POPULAR WHIIIIIIINE
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    "There are angels of prostitution?"

    More like Fallen Angels of prostitution. Though, not all apparently started as angels. Lillith being the most obvious as she was originally human.

    I really need to read the Zohar.

    Also missed this tidbit about Eisheth Zenunim "...a seductive devil and is in a eternal journey for the fall of the man into the sins of the flesh. She feeds on the souls of the fallen."

    And we gave lust to the demon of gambling, for SHAME ancient demonologists! 


  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    In related news, Sacred-Text.com continues to be absurdly awesome
  • See, I would worship these women. At least they look like they know how to have fun.

    Religion needs more sex appeal to remain relevant in the modern era.
  • The sadness will last forever.
    Yeah.
  • READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    There's always Taoism, Hinduism, and to some extent, Buddhism.

    Man, the west sure missed the sacred sex boat, and that's a boat I really wish we got on.
  • For Taoists, sex was not just about pleasing the man. The woman also
    had to be stimulated and pleased in order to benefit from the act of
    sex.

    Man, that beats the sexual teachings of...all western religions, basically.

  • TreTre
    edited 2012-01-25 15:54:09
    image
    ...there's a secks boat?
  • edited 2012-01-25 15:54:40
    READ MY CROSS SHIPPING-FANFICTION, DAMMIT!

    i get so angry sometimes i just punch plankton --Klinotaxis
    ^^Not quite, I'd say it just more the fundies got hung up on the idea that "SEX IS FOR MAKING BABIES!"

    They really should read the Bible. >:]
  • Well, true, the Song of Solomon is basically erotica.

    BEHOLD THE SACRED PORN STASH!
  • I think for super-fundies, fantasies of the Rapture and meeting Jesus and stuff take the same place sexual fantasies do in normal people. Reading these drawn-out accounts of how they think the US government would react makes me think "oh come on, just fantasize about Anne Hathaway in leather like normal people".
  • Jesus darkening some eyeballs? I love it when these loonies present Jesus "Turn The Other Cheek" Christ as some kind of Steven Seagal character.'

    image
  • The Onion has the best editorial cartoons.
  • madrigogs
  • Frankly, if Jesus had two pistols, I doubt they would have gotten him to put up the cross in the first place.

    Also, I'm pretty sure that glasses didn't exist in Palestine during Jesus's lifetime
  • I dou8t they wore polo shirts either.
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