the dude doing peer reviews took them home with him >:/
they are about as good as one would expect from someone without much in the way of native poetic abilities and a poor grasp of how to write a poem writing for a grade
though they are better than i thought they would be
weird part is that it's not bad. The overlayed rapping--while sped up to match the BPM, and therefore unintelligible--is certainly better than Ricardo da Force's forgettable showing on the original.
VitaminWater Zero Glow is a strawberry and guanabana flavored water that contains biotin and vitamins E and A to “help support & maintain healthy skin, hair, and nails.”
conTRAPtion has multiple settings. If you want a subtle track spin on it, simply apply the first setting SWAG.
If SWAG isn’t cutting it and you need to get more hard in the paint, that’s what TURNT UP is for.
The next setting, MAYBACH MUSIC, adds flair, snares, and track IDs. And when there’s no turning back and you need to turn the trap up to 11, simply apply “Damn Son, Where’d You Find This?”
All [LITERALLY ANY GENRE HERE] is terrible because it's terribleness is pretty much inherent in what makes it [LITERALLY ANY GENRE], not because it has some poppier version that sucks
Fight the Norman Oppressors! Don't say people, say leod. Don't say beautiful, say wlite or wlitig. Don't say forest, say wood. Don't say power, say might. Don't say close, say shut. Don't say divide, say cleave. Don't say desire, say wish. Don't say aid, say help. Don't say fraternity, say brotherhood. Don't say uncle, say eam.
i think the idea behind it is an alright thing in that you use on object to explore something more interior, this is cool, but youre beating me over the head with it? especially the way you have the description of the scarf and how it was made in these short obviously-poetic lines and then this big sprawl of long ass lines at the bottom dealing with the interior, theres a big split, and when what you are trying to do is to use one to explore the other, its best to try and draw them together somehow. for me the way you are laying it out is distancing them instead and it feels rambly and disconnected
also how a poem looks, on the page, is important - it seems dumb but it is. your poem looks like a poem at the beginning and then a load of weird isolated lines and a big splurge at the bottom. in fact it looks like several separate poems or separate pieces and im getting more disconnection from this
really i feel this would work better as a prose poem, a short little piece, paragraph, describe the scarf in a more prose like way, it would be a smoother transition (for me) and would work better with both what you are doing and what you already have there
but there are some nice sounds in this, i like the sound of the line 'unsure of my intuition'.
also yo beginning a line (a stanza!!) with "Reflecting on this" - dont do this it feels like you are going 'AND NOW HERE IS THE PROFOUND BIT'
I didn't know that the class would be starting off with a poetry unit. >.<
though i will say that attempting to write poetry makes me appreciate poets a lot more, shit is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay harder to do well than it looks
Yeah, it doesn't get much "better" than Offa of Mercia. Great king, great maker of dykes, failure when it comes to establishing a long dynasty. If only your son had reigned more than five months, man, you might have been more than you were. Oh well, at least you get the title of "most powerful Monarch before Alfred became king".
If that’s not helpful, I can pinpoint the flavor exactly. You know how you buy a McDonalds cheeseburger and it’s all delicious and wonderful? Have you ever purchased too many and put one in the fridge? These Cheetos taste like a day old, refrigerated then microwaved McDonalds cheeseburger. I don’t know if that’s what they were going for, but they nailed it. Seriously, it’s uncanny.
The flavor is bizarre but it sort of works. These are maybe the most interesting Japanese snack I’ve had. I don’t know if I love them, but I am definitely intrigued by them. I always recommend picking up Japanese snacks for fun, but you really do have to try these.
Comments
I really do not know how to make this more apparent.
You can say "[x] sucks because it's [x]" about literally anything. I'm not defending Trance, that was just an example.
you know what let's just drop the subject
here's Kendrick Lamar trying and kinda failing to go over one of the best trap songs ever.
the guy who made "Airplanes" among a couple other mostly forgettable pop rap songs
he has somehow managed to convince people he has underground cred.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
Haven't you done enough to me already?
if you want some pointers in directions on this
i think the idea behind it is an alright thing in that you use on object to explore something more interior, this is cool, but youre beating me over the head with it? especially the way you have the description of the scarf and how it was made in these short obviously-poetic lines and then this big sprawl of long ass lines at the bottom dealing with the interior, theres a big split, and when what you are trying to do is to use one to explore the other, its best to try and draw them together somehow. for me the way you are laying it out is distancing them instead and it feels rambly and disconnected
also how a poem looks, on the page, is important - it seems dumb but it is. your poem looks like a poem at the beginning and then a load of weird isolated lines and a big splurge at the bottom. in fact it looks like several separate poems or separate pieces and im getting more disconnection from this
really i feel this would work better as a prose poem, a short little piece, paragraph, describe the scarf in a more prose like way, it would be a smoother transition (for me) and would work better with both what you are doing and what you already have there
but there are some nice sounds in this, i like the sound of the line 'unsure of my intuition'.
also yo beginning a line (a stanza!!) with "Reflecting on this" - dont do this it feels like you are going 'AND NOW HERE IS THE PROFOUND BIT'
this guy made a rap song about a rap forum meme.
Yeah, it doesn't get much "better" than Offa of Mercia. Great king, great maker of dykes, failure when it comes to establishing a long dynasty. If only your son had reigned more than five months, man, you might have been more than you were. Oh well, at least you get the title of "most powerful Monarch before Alfred became king".