Can someone please go over there and say that whoever PM'ed me should bring whatever they wanted to say over here? Because I have a "You Got a New PM" message, but I can't go in my inbox.
I have mixed feelings about TVT as of right now. I like being there with people I know over the 'net and Yack Fest is cool for the most part, but I kinda feel like I'm ignored there most of the time, possibly due to me being a nuisance.
Also, FE scares me, which honestly shouldn't be the perception a user should have toward the administrator, but that's just me. I like how the atmosphere here is less stuffy. The Hangout is like a Starbucks with a few people that go there regularly, but TVT is like a hectic McDonald's, crowded and can't fully handle itself because people are too busy cutting each other in line to get their food.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
I really wanna leave, I don't feel comfortable at TVT anymore.
Same here.
We gotta find somewhere to talk to Bunny, dammit!
(I feel kinda bad saying that, because I don't wanna equate my relationship with him to that of his boyfriend, but he is a close friend and I still want to hang out with him)
I don't want anyone to feel guilty. I just want people to stop being so....I don't even know. I just want it to stop.
*sigh*
I've been talking with Lockon (I have no idea how many of you know him), and we've basically determined I've been having an existential crisis for the past four years or so.
Honestly, the forums seem to go through periodic break-outs of drama. Happened not long after I joined, around when SA's shenanigans started getting noticed, after the Google thing, IJBM, happening again now. I'm sure that after this blows over the remaining base will find something to freak out about.
[1:26:00 AM | Edited 1:26:04 AM] ignatius2722: Spain. I'd better fucking hear from you tomorrow. If I don't [1:26:15 AM] ignatius2722: I WILL assume the worst, okay? [1:26:23 AM] Blixty Slycat: i'm fine. [1:27:18 AM] ignatius2722: Well, I hope you are because I'm not just going to let you convince yourself you're alone [1:27:22 AM] ignatius2722: and for the record. [1:27:40 AM] ignatius2722: It hurts what you said [1:27:50 AM] ignatius2722: not because you said something mean [1:27:58 AM | Edited 1:28:03 AM] ignatius2722: because a while ago, you THANKED me for it. [1:28:10 AM] ignatius2722: So you're lying to me. [1:28:22 AM] ignatius2722: Whether you lied to hurt me or lied to make me feel good [1:28:29 AM] ignatius2722: either way I'm hurt. [1:28:38 AM] Blixty Slycat: Lockon, it's not [1:28:42 AM] ignatius2722: But I'm MORE hurt that you think you're alone. [1:28:47 AM] Blixty Slycat: quite that simple. To be honest. [1:29:05 AM] Blixty Slycat: I tell so many people so many different things that even I really don't know what I actually think about anything anymore. [1:29:15 AM] Blixty Slycat: And that is probably the only thing I've ever said that I can genuinely call a truth. [1:29:48 AM] ignatius2722: I'm sorry your life has become that way. And frankly, I wish could help. [1:30:35 AM] ignatius2722: But I don't know what to expect from you now. Frankly, I'm very concerned for you. [1:30:45 AM] ignatius2722: I don't care [1:30:49 AM] ignatius2722: if the concern [1:30:56 AM] ignatius2722: is for someone who isn't "the real you" [1:30:59 AM] ignatius2722: at this point [1:31:12 AM] ignatius2722: I see a human being who's in a bad place [1:31:38 AM] ignatius2722: and I just want him to be happy with who he is. [1:31:47 AM] ignatius2722: And if you have to figure out who you are [1:31:50 AM] ignatius2722: well fuck, let's do that. [1:32:03 AM] ignatius2722: I'll stop talking because I can sense therapy mode coming on. [1:32:13 AM] Blixty Slycat: Blixty Slycat sighs [1:32:15 AM] Blixty Slycat: I only know [1:32:17 AM] Blixty Slycat: like [1:32:18 AM] Blixty Slycat: ten things [1:32:20 AM] Blixty Slycat: about myself. [1:32:24 AM] Blixty Slycat: for certain. [1:32:27 AM] Blixty Slycat: to be honest with you. [1:32:32 AM] Blixty Slycat: that's how bad it's gotten. [1:32:36 AM] ignatius2722: That's a start. [1:33:07 AM] ignatius2722: Hold on to those ten things. [1:33:21 AM] ignatius2722: Mind telling me what they are? [1:33:26 AM] Blixty Slycat: sure. [1:33:32 AM] Blixty Slycat: my name is Nathan Micheal Auman [1:33:40 AM] Blixty Slycat: I am 17 years old. [1:33:51 AM] Blixty Slycat: I am from the state of Pennsylvania. [1:34:00 AM] Blixty Slycat: and...and.... [1:34:06 AM] Blixty Slycat: give me a minute. [1:34:15 AM] ignatius2722: You're born male. [1:34:19 AM] Blixty Slycat: yes. [1:34:20 AM] Blixty Slycat: that's true. [1:34:26 AM] ignatius2722: You have dutch heritage [1:34:45 AM] Blixty Slycat: I have at least three siblings. [1:35:01 AM] Blixty Slycat: my mother's name is Wendy Auman Chambliss, and my father's name is Keith Auman. [1:35:16 AM] Blixty Slycat: I attend Palmerton Area High School. [1:35:23 AM] Blixty Slycat: I would like to graduate High School this year. [1:35:45 AM] ignatius2722: You hate sweet things [1:35:52 AM] ignatius2722: You love salty things [1:36:18 AM] Blixty Slycat: that's not really true either, I like some sweet things. Just not most of them. It's just easier to say you hate sweet things in general. [1:36:26 AM] ignatius2722: yeah [1:36:32 AM] ignatius2722: that's what I mean [1:36:45 AM] ignatius2722: you (at one point) enjoyed hip-hop [1:36:52 AM] ignatius2722: do you still? [1:37:18 AM] Blixty Slycat: Yes. I think so. [1:37:25 AM] Blixty Slycat: ugh [1:37:28 AM] Blixty Slycat: that's another problem. [1:37:31 AM] Blixty Slycat: I can't.... [1:37:33 AM] Blixty Slycat: it makes no sense [1:37:41 AM] Blixty Slycat: but I can't say for certain whether I really like any of the things I say I like. [1:37:44 AM] Blixty Slycat: I think I do, but. [1:37:48 AM] Blixty Slycat: I don't know..... [1:37:51 AM] Blixty Slycat: how to tell for certain. [1:38:04 AM] ignatius2722: Seems to me you're just having an existential crisis. [1:38:09 AM] ignatius2722: okay [1:38:12 AM] ignatius2722: not "just" [1:38:24 AM] ignatius2722: but it's definitely a crisis.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
I'm not even sure want to think anymore. I feel like I'm supposed to leave TVT now, seeing has how I've become fairly thoroughly disillusioned with the place, but at the same time...if I go, there are people I know I'm going to miss.
I hadn't noticed most of those when they happened but then Round 2 of the SA stuff started up again and it all just went downhill from there.
Anne pointed out that I'd been got by them once, but it was for my crappy writing, and I haven't really noticed any other times they've mentioned me other than once when one dude wanted us to give more context for the "random quotes" thread.
But I'm sure they'll find my pictures and laugh because I'm a funny looking person. :P
TVT has done a lot for me, too. It helped me out of my own existential crisis that started in 2005, after I found out an old crush of mine was married and had moved on and I ended up drowning my sorrows on 4chan; I've met some great people and I've had a lot of fun.
But, y'know, one thing I've learned through all of this is that there comes a time in any relationship where you know it's over and that you really should move on. That happened with me and 4chan and Wikipedia in 2008; it's slowly been happening with me and TVT since last summer, and it's gotten to the point where I don't edit the wiki at all and read only select threads in Yack Fest. It may not be much longer until I stop reading the forums entirely, though just as with Wikipedia, it's unlikely I'll ever stop reading the wiki.
I'm not a fucking loser. I'm not a fucking failure. And I'm not a fucking waste of anyone's anything.
I did help TVTropes, if me storming off means they finally band together and start making better decisions, then I helped. I did help. I fucking helped. For once, I actually did.
Unrelated to anything: I'm playing Terranigma now. This part is the usual "save the princess and you can marry her" episode, but apparently the macguffin is...a dog whistle.
I remembered a sockpuppet account I made ages ago for god-knows-what purpose. Used it to post a final farewell and I'm hoping people don't take it the wrong way.
In any case, I think that gives me a bit of closure.
Lockon, is that a picture of you. Looking all smuggy.
And Lola says she's staying. I don't think I'd end up leaving in full either but that more or less seals it. I'll still keep myself on there for her at the very least, though I have other reasons too I guess. (Repetition and flow, for two.)
Comments
hey
would it be okay if i asked my Skype friends to join the forums here.
I really wanna leave, I don't feel comfortable at TVT anymore.
Well they finally cut my PM access.
Can someone please go over there and say that whoever PM'ed me should bring whatever they wanted to say over here? Because I have a "You Got a New PM" message, but I can't go in my inbox.
I, honestly, don't like Vanilla all that much. Much prefer PhpBB.
PhpBB plays hell with my computer.
Thanks Pluto. You're a real pal. :)
Post it in both Troper Updates and Absent People if you could. I don't know who sent it and where they're posting from.
We gotta find somewhere to talk to Bunny, dammit!
(I feel kinda bad saying that, because I don't wanna equate my relationship with him to that of his boyfriend, but he is a close friend and I still want to hang out with him)
I don't want anyone to feel guilty. I just want people to stop being so....I don't even know. I just want it to stop.
*sigh*
I've been talking with Lockon (I have no idea how many of you know him), and we've basically determined I've been having an existential crisis for the past four years or so.
Yeah, but I've survived all those.
I kind of feel like a weakling for going out in the worst possible way now of all times.
I'll just post the chatlog. It's easier.
I'm such a loser. I've left at a critical moment. I missed my chance. I can't do anything to improve TVT now.
I'm a goddamn failure.
No I'm not.
I'm not a fucking loser. I'm not a fucking failure. And I'm not a fucking waste of anyone's anything.
I did help TVTropes, if me storming off means they finally band together and start making better decisions, then I helped. I did help. I fucking helped. For once, I actually did.
edit: get an avatar, Lockon.
also
*hugs*
it's good to see you.
I remembered a sockpuppet account I made ages ago for god-knows-what purpose. Used it to post a final farewell and I'm hoping people don't take it the wrong way.
In any case, I think that gives me a bit of closure.
Lockon, is that a picture of you. Looking all smuggy.
Cannibal Holocaust is about cannibals.
it's also, I think, widely considered to be the first gorn movie. I don't know if you're into *that* kind of horror, though.