The Trash Heap of the Heapers' Hangout

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  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    I wonder what crazy stuff is on the VHS tapes left over from my childhood. Probably a lot of 80s cartoons and stuff, together with delicious commercials.
  • edited 2011-11-23 23:03:37
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    The chain of some of these theme park names amuses me.

    Grove Park, The Coney Island of the West --> Coney Island (Cincinnati amusement park)

    Kings Island = Coney Island + Kings Mills (the area where the new park was built)

    Kings Dominion = Kings Island (by then a successful park) + "Old Dominion" (Virginia)
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    .decide watch ponies | watch Helvetica
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    What's the story, Morning Glory?
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    My boy Imipolex, it all started one day when my neighbor Ronald walked down the street and he said "How do you do?" and I replied that "I do fine".

    But then a guy on a bicycle came on by and they all died. I needed to serve up vengeance, and by god was I unprepared.

    So I printed up a poster for my Vengeance Association and put it on a bulletin board at the community center. Hundreds flocked to my abode and before I knew it I had a crew ready to go.

    The showdown was tense, at the top of six the next morning. Casualties abound, but in the end the win was ours. The man on the bicycle was dead. By god, his reign of terror had ended at last!

    So that's the story, my dear Imi.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    So, you're a murderer.

    I'm calling the cops.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I am not a murderer, the guy on the bicycle was!
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    How did the guy on the bicycle kill anyone anyway? There's no mention of a weapon or anything. Maybe all the deaths were just a coincidence.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    With his mind.
  • Touch the cow. Do it now.
    So, you're crazy.

    I'm calling a psychologist.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ABC Inc wants to buy more crap.
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    And now I'm watching a tape from 2002 or so. There's an ad for Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever on here. [lol] 

    Incidentally, that movie it turns out was produced by Franchise, the same studio responsible for Battlefield Earth. There was pretty much no way it was going to be good.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Has any Franchise movie been good? I remember their logo being fairly common for a while, may or may not have liked it.

    I remember on CLG Wiki its page once said it was seen on all movies from 2000-2005.
  • edited 2011-11-24 01:33:52
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    ^^^ Like an iPad for every employee?
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Maybe.

    Or more cable TV channels.
  • edited 2011-11-24 01:41:02
    THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    AU: They weren't really even a studio as much as a front for various people's pet projects. Which means they suffered from the worst parts of both the auteur era and the blockbuster era. They also cooked their books big-time, which is actually why they failed.

    Also, the main attraction on this tape is...Starship Troopers. Dammit, Verhoeven, you are not Lars von Trier or Catherine Breillat (or even Joe D'Amato, for that matter), so please stop invoking True Art Is Offensive? The satire worked in RoboCop because it was subtle. In this movie it's about as subtle as Tsar Bomba. :P
  • edited 2011-11-24 01:51:01
    The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ...god, I wish I knew as much about Hollywood as you did.

    Also I don't want to buy Lionsgate now. They make crappy movies.
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    And you know what's really quaint? Ads for 1-800-CALL-ATT. You know, back when people actually still called people collect from payphones.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    Dial down the middle?
  • edited 2011-11-24 02:05:57
    THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    AU: Yup. I haven't seen ads for either them or 1-800-COLLECT in years (though I hear tell Verizon keeps the latter around for some reason). 

    Oh hey, and Neil Patrick Harris is in this playing what is essentially a Gog damn Hitler Youth. CLASSY.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ...god.

    Why am I so fond of early-TW-era Turner Broadcasting?
  • edited 2011-11-24 02:17:59
    THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Oh man, I love this Circuit City ad where a couple is gawking over their "big" TV that's actually pretty small by 2011 standards. And a CRT TV, to boot. Have fun replacing that thing when HDTV rolls out! XD

    Also...ads for Firefly. There is a distinct lack of Kaylee in them, too. :P
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ...I'm obsessed with the BBC now, apparently.

    I keep wanting them to ally with ABC Inc in various forms, too. (Like the apparently-aborted ABC News Now retool that has been in the works from early on in the company's existence, and now I want them to be involved in The Hub.)
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    And dammit, they didn't kill the Ugly Cute worm-bug-thing, but they are torturing it in some lab someplace. Nazi motherfuckers. :P

    Did I mention I really don't like this movie? Just...Verhoeven went way too far in making the protagonists assholes. 
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    What station is this from?
  • edited 2011-11-24 02:34:47
    THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    WTTG here in DC. And FUX running this particular movie, which could give Triumph of the WIll a run for its money, just a year after 9/11? YEAH, NO UNFORTUNATE IMPLICATIONS THERE, FUX. :P
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Does anyone else imagine that, rather than a single workshop, Santa Claus has an entire North Pole campus consisting of several buildings (many of them modern), each with its own purpose?
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ^^I figured.

    ^I never really thought much about Santa Claus, really
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    CA: [wmg] The "North Pole" is in Deadhorse, AK XD

    AU: Starship Troopers is over; now the tape has switched over to an episode of Today from sometime during the 2002 Winter Olympics. (Heh, this guy's kids are named Kate and Allie.)
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I ask because I have this silly idea floating around in my head for a "design project" to fix the signage at Santa's North Pole campus. I have it in my head that the current signage is incomplete, inconsistent, and sometimes misleading or inaccurate.

    The current signs include at least two generations of past signage, the most recent of which dates to the early 2000's and has a cheap-looking, overly cliched "Christmas" theme with bright red and green signs and legends set in Times New Roman.
  • edited 2011-11-24 02:43:43
    THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    And we have a date: 19 Feb 2002.

    Wow, the Phone Booth was still the MCI Center then. (It changed to Verizon when MCI was bought out).

    By the way, it turns out 1-800-CALL-ATT still exists, and AT&T still advertises it on their website the exact same way.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    You know I kind of wish I had old morning shows. Older than 2006; blame The CW for my hoarding.

    Of the network news, I remember having an NBC Nightly News from KCNC from October 1993, and a Charlie Gibson-helmed ABC World News Tonight off of KMGH from August 20, 1999.
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Now I'm looking at this blog, and I'm imagining someone who reviews Lifetime movies the same way Phelous does horror movies. "Aaaaaaand he dies!"
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    ...You know, earlier I was thinking that if we met in real life I would ask to see your ATF book, but I thought that seemed a little selfish because I don't have any tangible, physical representations of my obsessions that I could show to you.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Why do I have two pictures of this?
    image

    image
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    The first one looks worse than the second.
  • edited 2011-11-24 03:15:20
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    The older one is a bit blurrier and has weird coloration.

    (You see, I usually use GIMP to auto-correct the white balance in these photos because the windshield gives them a bit of a greenish tint. But if the photo has poor lighting to begin with the color turns out strange like in that first one)
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Also, the "s" in "Reynoldsburg" looks strangely out-of-place to me now, and it didn't before. Hmph.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ...I wanna design something.
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    oh god, me too
  • design a doomsday device
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    The device: four drills buried in the Earth's center, all headed up towards major cities: New York City, Tokyo, London, and Rio de Janiero.

    ...hrm, seems like it would cause destruction, but not of the planet/humanity!
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    ^ I immediately thought of [SPOILER I REFUSE TO REVEAL] from Doctor Who.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    ...you're teasing me.
  • edited 2011-11-24 03:53:20
    You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    ...A little.

    (If not for the fact that you're watching it now, I would have just thrown the name out there)
  • edited 2011-11-24 03:56:23
    THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Y'know, that blog is named "mothermayisleepwithlifetime". I'm wondering what that would be like. 

    Yes, I'm seriously entertaining thoughts of fucking a TV network. And this does not weird me out in the slightest; indeed, I'm kind of curious as to what the kids would be like and if I'd catch the Large Ham virus or something.

    YES I PROBABLY NEED SLEEP.
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    No! Don't sleep! SHARE THE MADNESS.
  • THIS MACHINE KILLS FASCISTS
    Seriously, what would sex with a non-corporeal entity be like? The foreplay, the acts themselves, the afterglow snuggles...dammit, I'm thinking about this way too hard. :P

    I guess it'd be a like a particularly intense wet dream, but then, I don't have many of those.
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