"You built," I said, as the papers settled to the cluttered floor about me, "an autonomous, biologically functional, machine."
"Yep!" said Pinkie. "It's called a 'contraptionoid'. I named him 'Iggy'!"
"And since then," I said, struggling to rise and to disentangle myself from the taffy, "you designed a cannon that can produce organic and inorganic matter out of thin air. For any reason you like."
"Not for 'any reason'," said Pinkie. "For parties!"
I threw my hooves up in exasperation. "Why didn't you tell anypony you could do stuff like this?"
"Twilight," laughed Pinkie. "It's not like I hid my cannon from you guys. Or my hoof-powered flying machine. Or that propeller beanie I built for Tank the Tortoise." She shrugged. "It's just that whenever anypony asks me about them and I start to explain, they tell me that I'm being random, or that I'm being Pinkie Pie, which are both true things, and then they walk away!"
"Rrright," said A.J. "Twilight, you care to translate that to us from Pinkinese?"
And I was so close.
"Yes," I almost said. "Pinkie is secretly an engineering genius. Or rather, not secretly, it's just that none of us pay enough attention to what she's doing to realize what's going on right in front of our muzzles. She built a mechanical salamander that can burn hot enough to turn sand into glass in the hopes that it would help rock farmers like her family move the rocks around faster, for whatever reason it is that they do that in the first place. Only, it escaped. And it came looking for her. And it's been setting fire to the Everfree Forest ever since. And so we used Pinkie's Party Cannon to generate about eighteen gallons of ice cream out of nothing more than smog and vapor and cooled that lizard right off. Oh, and did you know that Pinkie's Party Cannon can generate food out of practically nothing? And possibly, but unconfirmedly, gold and precious gems as well? And the financial security of our entire village is assured for all eternity and everypony can have anything they want, whenever they want, in whatever quantity that they want, from now until the end of time, but please don't get greedy about it…"
In the wake of the Nightmare's most pathetic assault on Ponyville yet, Applejack is thrown into an existential crisis, despite her not knowing what the word "existential" means.
So, Imi, do you want me to tell you to write, or is this not the time?
Odradek: Anti-natalists. An abhorrent philosophy. They're right up there with the Pro-anorexia people who teach girls ways to hide their "ana" from their family.
"Okay, what," she said. "What. What's going to last forever this time?"
The pale-blue hovering pegasus filly with the weird-looking eyes fixed one of them on Twilight, the other kinda looking off in another direction entirely.
"Muffins!" shouted Nightmare Derp, throwing her hooves wide, her black armor spraying condensation all over the rest of us in the doing so. Rarity scornfully brushed the water off her coat, looking right petulant about it.
"Muffins aren't a thing with temporal duration!" yelled Twilight, finally losing it. "'Muffins' can't last forever!"
Nightmare Derp blinked a couple times at Twilight, the drips from her armor starting to create a mud puddle at her hooves.
"Yes they can!" she replied, after a time.
"UGGGH," said Twilight, rolling her eyes and then throwing a hoof over them. "Okay, whatever. Just… what the heck ever. Spike, go fetch the Elements of Harmony from the card table by the door where we tossed them a couple minutes ago."
"Maybe you should just keep them with you," said Spike. "It's tiring running back and forth like this all the time! I've got short legs!"
"I'll consider it, under the circumstances."
"I kind of want muffins to last forever," protested Pinkie.
"It's the principle of the thing, okay?" growled Twilight back at her. "Look, let's just unleash the Magic of Friendship on this abomination and then you can bake so many muffins it will feel like muffins are lasting forever. How's that?"
"Sounds peachy to me!" said Pinkie, grinning wide.
"Fine," said Twilight. "What about you, Nightmare Derp? You like the sound of that?"
Imi is a skilled writer, and he wants to develop his talents and imagination, but the Internet is very distracting. We are supposed to remind him to write.
With the Lance of Mario-game-things he will Banish the Demon of Not Having Accomplished Anything Today.
However, now that Imipolex has a job, he has the Demon Of Having Done Too Much Today.
Mario game thingy? Please elaborate, I really have no idea what you are referring to here.
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
Imi's making a romhack of Super Mario World using an editing program that I didn't catch the name of.
Anyway, I've been working on making a custom Super Mario game episode using an engine called Super Mario Bros. X. I've created 56 levels, which is enough. Just need to build the world map now.
detachable mindset. fusing of the forked tongue. collective behavior. the sweat of fascism. someone give these dogmatic bastards a bath. servitude/genocide. rise gilgamesh. mulatto demigod. novas urdu seclurum. 5 band genetic equalizer.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Thank you for your purchase and [for] helping to fund the creation of enough liquid LSD to contaminate the New York City water supply for the next ten years.
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
Imi: As well as pygmy cows that defend themselves with Yoshi-tongued Piranha Plants.
CA: What would a Gravity Mario powerup be like, I wonder? I know gravity's already been played with in the Galaxy games, but still.
I've written things before, but only terrible things I wouldn't want anyone to read.
Also, I had to drop the pygmy cow-piranha plant thing. It just came out really awkward and forced, since you can't change any of the Yoshi behaviors or sound effects.
But there are still some other cows you can talk to...
Doctor Who reference in Pokemon B2W2? Headcanon accepted.
Writing, huh
Once upon a time there was a corporal that everyone loved and all the hot women wanted to have his children. He was salaried at 47 million dollars a week just for existing (because he is that awesome) and he was given his own Jagdtiger tank destroyer to drive around and crush and shoot things with an unlimited supply of fuel and ammo. One day a true idiot told the corporal that he was not really as awesome as everyone thought the corporal was and the corporal just flashed his billion dollar smile and flexed his biceps and the sheer awesomeness of it all blew the critic to kingdom come. The corporal then lived merrily for the rest of his days driving his tank through people's houses. The End
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Once upon a time there was a corporal that everyone loved and all the hot women wanted to have his children. He was salaried at 47 million dollars a week just for existing (because he is that awesome) and he was given his own Jagdtiger tank destroyer to drive around and crush and shoot things with an unlimited supply of fuel and ammo. One day a true idiot told the corporal that he was not really as awesome as everyone thought the corporal was and the corporal just flashed his billion dollar smile and flexed his biceps and the sheer awesomeness of it all blew the critic to kingdom come. The corporal then lived merrily for the rest of his days driving his tank through people's houses. The End
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
SAILOR SAYS
Sometimes the hardest thing in the world is believing in yourself. Especially if your grades are... heh heh, less than stellar? Or you're a little clumsy. But you never know what the real you can do! Set your mind and heart on it, and anything is possible!
Remember back in the 50s when they'd record like Elvis singing YOU AIN'T NOTHIN BUT A HOUND DOG and then they'd turn the record over and reverse it and it was all NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP NYERP and people were all like, "That is actually the voice of Satan coming from that song."
I still wonder how I had a dream in which I was Sailor Moon (well, sort of, I was Serena/Usagi) even though I'd only seen two episodes of the English dub and had only a basic familiarity of the show otherwise.
Now the tender Puppet need never worry about what is “out there” It would just bother them anyways, and it’s pointless to care. Finally free from it’s troubles, the blind mute Puppet goes to sleep And the heroic Puppeteer kisses the forehead of it’s sweet lil’ sheep.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
I want to design signs for a parking garage
But I can't shake the thought that parking garages are too mundane even for me
Comments
The Mario Westphall universe.
Antinatalists
Ironically
fuk da police
Odradek: Anti-natalists. An abhorrent philosophy. They're right up there with the Pro-anorexia people who teach girls ways to hide their "ana" from their family.
Tomorrow, perhaps, when I have a day off.
With the Lance of Mario-game-things he will Banish the Demon of Not Having Accomplished Anything Today.
However, now that Imipolex has a job, he has the Demon Of Having Done Too Much Today.
Mario game thingy? Please elaborate, I really have no idea what you are referring to here.
Anyway, I've been working on making a custom Super Mario game episode using an engine called Super Mario Bros. X. I've created 56 levels, which is enough. Just need to build the world map now.
fusing of the forked tongue.
collective behavior.
the sweat of fascism.
someone give these dogmatic bastards a bath.
servitude/genocide.
rise gilgamesh. mulatto demigod.
novas urdu seclurum.
5 band genetic equalizer.
enough liquid LSD to contaminate the New York City water supply for the
next ten years.
Also, I had to drop the pygmy cow-piranha plant thing. It just came out really awkward and forced, since you can't change any of the Yoshi behaviors or sound effects.
But there are still some other cows you can talk to...
see
It would just bother them anyways, and it’s pointless to care.
Finally free from it’s troubles, the blind mute Puppet goes to sleep
And the heroic Puppeteer kisses the forehead of it’s sweet lil’ sheep.
Before you wake up
So I can feel happier
To be safe up here with you