You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
^^ Man, fuck Godot
I waited around for the longest time but that fucker never showed up
i wish to come up with a song lyric for this signature, but no song lyrics are coming to mind
Lutefisk, a traditional Norwegian fish product, was invented by the Vikings as an easier way of instilling fear in their enemies than raiding and pillaging. It is traditionally inflicted upon young Norwegians by their grandparents, and is described by one famous author as 'the world's largest chunk of phlegm.'
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
That reminds me: I remember, when I was about 6 or 7, imagining that this unplugged telephone I was playing with was a drum machine, and that each button on the keypad made a different drum sound (particularly cymbals). I had no idea how a drum machine actually worked then, and in 1984 there was no way to look it up, but it turns out that pretty much is how the LinnDrum and the Akai MPC work.
A mutual friend of ours threw a big party for her 30th birthday, tons of people were there and it was a lot of fun. Somewhere along the line you and I ended up on the balcony for some fresh air at the same time. We started chatting; we talked about sports, books, tv — discovered we both are about to start our masters degrees and spent some time debating the pro’s and con’s of the educational system. We talked about hanging out sometime, and you wanted to meet my girlfriend.
I understand how upsetting it was for you when I blinked mildly in surprise and said I was here with my husband. I know it was a shock to your system, if your face had turned any paler I might have called 911. You made a good recovery though - that hurried mutter of “I’m not like that” was very polite and you only knocked over two drinks and one vase in your hurry to rush to anywhere other than near me. I can’t blame you — I forgot how delicate you straight boys are. So I wanted to give you a few helpful hints about where you went wrong last night.
1) As a general rule we don’t walk around with big signs around our neck proclaiming our sexuality. No scarlet letters, no scent of hellfire and brimstone… sorry about that.
2) We do not generally assume that everyone within 5 feet of us must also be homosexual — it was nice of you to immediately reassure me that you are hetero, but it was really unnecessary.
3) Homosexuality is not infectious. While I am sure you meant no disrespect with your hasty departure; in the future you can rest assured that taking a few extra seconds in your mad dash for safety will not result in you being turned gay. It will however keep you from destroying expensive vases and knocking over senior citizens.
4) This next one may come as a surprise; but you are not, in fact, irresistible. The fact that you have a dick does not instantly turn me into a bundle of uncontrolled lust. Contrary to popular opinion, being in the same room with a straight man does not cause a gay man to instantly lose all common sense and basic common courtesy. Though I am not so sure about the reverse.
5) Homosexuals in general get a little irked when people treat us like some sort of leper. Rushing to another mutual friend of ours and advising him of my sexuality, so he could be “forewarned” was really uncalled for.
6) Upon being told (by said mutual friend) to stop being an idiot and that you were not my type anyway… it generally confuses the issue when you then proceed to become upset that I DON’T find you attractive. Three seconds ago you were running through a crowd of people with your hands cupped protectively over your junk as if I might attack you at any moment with a blowjob. See hint number 4.
7) We homosexuals have an odd sense of humor — I can’t help that. Something about watching you freak out as if all the demons of hell were after you just struck me as vastly amusing.
8) While being pissed at me for dissolving into uncontrollable laughter might be understandable… gathering a couple guys together to “teach the fag a lesson” is not.
9) You might also want to drink a little less and be a little more careful about the guys you approach for your little proto-hate-mob.
10) Assuming the two tall muscle-bound bruisers must be uber-hetero and just as appalled by my presence as you was your first mistake. It was an understandable one though. How were you to know that pflag tshirt the first guy was wearing wasn’t a sports team? Also the rainbow ring the second guy was wearing could have meant anything I am sure.
11) In retrospect I suppose that upon hearing your not very subtle hate-talk and seeing who you were heading for; I could have said something instead of just laughing harder. I apologize for that. I should have just introduced you to my husband instead of letting you walk up to him and ask him if he wanted to help you teach “that fag over there” a lesson. I hope that broken nose heals up cleanly.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
Guess who just paid $3.58/gallon for gas with her Kroger card?
Oh yeah, Centie did!
Who's awesome? I'm awesome! Who's awesome? I'm awesome! and so on
I am not going to outright brag about my employee discounts, but I am going to just sort of casually mention them, and that they are for things like movie tickets.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
But, you see, movie tickets will not power my Toyota.
At least, I don't think they will. I've never tried...
Speaking of newly-acquired irritation, I think that some of my coworkers are starting to rub off on me, because I'm bothered by poor aisle conditioning now.
And this, mom, is why you shouldn't take away the computer. I get on it after weeks of not having it to do homework, then proceed to do stupid crap like arguing about word choice until five in the morning.
You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
We have three separate cheese departments, your argument is invalid.
I can vouch for at least two cheese departments at the Potomac store near me (the regular cheese in the refrigerated case, and the cheese bar with the chichi European stuff).
Oh, there are some nights where I'd kill for 6 hours' sleep. Usually it's because I've been up all night reading, but in other cases it's brought on by depression or something upsetting me as well. On top of our oven overheating earlier, I was also reading stuff about not being a creeper that reminded me of crap I did years ago, stuff I'm obviously still ashamed of. ._.
Either way, I'm going to try sleeping this off. Later!
Comments
Dolphins are symbols of love
clearly this is the work of the international raep conspiracy
WH4T NOW
just don't take it serious
That....is the most disgusting looking food I have ever seen.
And I've seen lutfisk.
Jeez, even I don't do straight 4/4.
It just doesn't sound good.
Assassin poems, Poems that shoot
guns. Poems that wrestle cops into alleys
and take their weapons leaving them dead
A mutual friend of ours threw a big party for her 30th birthday, tons
I understand how upsetting it was for you when I blinked mildly inof people were there and it was a lot of fun. Somewhere along the line
you and I ended up on the balcony for some fresh air at the same time.
We started chatting; we talked about sports, books, tv — discovered we
both are about to start our masters degrees and spent some time debating
the pro’s and con’s of the educational system. We talked about hanging
out sometime, and you wanted to meet my girlfriend.
surprise and said I was here with my husband. I know it was a shock to
your system, if your face had turned any paler I might have called 911.
You made a good recovery though - that hurried mutter of “I’m not like
that” was very polite and you only knocked over two drinks and one vase
in your hurry to rush to anywhere other than near me. I can’t blame you —
I forgot how delicate you straight boys are. So I wanted to give you a
few helpful hints about where you went wrong last night.
1) As a
general rule we don’t walk around with big signs around our neck
proclaiming our sexuality. No scarlet letters, no scent of hellfire and
brimstone… sorry about that.
2) We do not generally assume that
everyone within 5 feet of us must also be homosexual — it was nice of
you to immediately reassure me that you are hetero, but it was really
unnecessary.
3) Homosexuality is not infectious. While I am sure
you meant no disrespect with your hasty departure; in the future you can
rest assured that taking a few extra seconds in your mad dash for
safety will not result in you being turned gay. It will however keep you
from destroying expensive vases and knocking over senior citizens.
4)
This next one may come as a surprise; but you are not, in fact,
irresistible. The fact that you have a dick does not instantly turn me
into a bundle of uncontrolled lust. Contrary to popular opinion, being
in the same room with a straight man does not cause a gay man to
instantly lose all common sense and basic common courtesy. Though I am
not so sure about the reverse.
5) Homosexuals in general get a
little irked when people treat us like some sort of leper. Rushing to
another mutual friend of ours and advising him of my sexuality, so he
could be “forewarned” was really uncalled for.
6) Upon being told
(by said mutual friend) to stop being an idiot and that you were not my
type anyway… it generally confuses the issue when you then proceed to
become upset that I DON’T find you attractive. Three seconds ago you
were running through a crowd of people with your hands cupped
protectively over your junk as if I might attack you at any moment with a
blowjob. See hint number 4.
7) We homosexuals have an odd sense
of humor — I can’t help that. Something about watching you freak out as
if all the demons of hell were after you just struck me as vastly
amusing.
8) While being pissed at me for dissolving into
uncontrollable laughter might be understandable… gathering a couple guys
together to “teach the fag a lesson” is not.
9) You might also
want to drink a little less and be a little more careful about the guys
you approach for your little proto-hate-mob.
10) Assuming the two
tall muscle-bound bruisers must be uber-hetero and just as appalled by
my presence as you was your first mistake. It was an understandable one
though. How were you to know that pflag tshirt the first guy was wearing
wasn’t a sports team? Also the rainbow ring the second guy was wearing
could have meant anything I am sure.
11) In retrospect I suppose
that upon hearing your not very subtle hate-talk and seeing who you were
heading for; I could have said something instead of just laughing
harder. I apologize for that. I should have just introduced you to my
husband instead of letting you walk up to him and ask him if he wanted
to help you teach “that fag over there” a lesson. I hope that broken
nose heals up cleanly.
Yes but they're also movie tickets.
I think I may be spending too much time here.
I've begun to get really irritated every time I hear Food City's "slogan." Okay, I know you only operate in three states, but your slogan sucks.
I meant that for both of the slogans.
...
wait, did I just interpret that as an attack? Good lord, I need sleep.
...
Wait a minute, it's five. I need to prepare for school.
We have cheese, cheese products, and our World Cheese Center.
also
this is by far the best Abridged Series on Youtube.
"okay look I don't know whose bringing lunch tomorrow so everyone cover yourselves in oil, I'm gonna light this match and last person standing wins"
"wins what?"
"BEING GOOD AT BURNING!"
Either way, I'm going to try sleeping this off. Later!