if you put mustard on your pretzels

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:06:57

what in the flying FUCK is wrong with you?

Princess Alice · 2014-05-31 01:09:59

*has Mojave sent to the dungeon*

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:10:59

No, fuck you.

I'm from Pennsylvania and live an hour from Lancaster. You don't put mustard on pretzels unless they're awful and you need something to hide the fact that they're awful.

Just purchase better soft pretzels, it is that simple.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:12:31

If you have inferior pretzels, cheese dip is a better choice to cover up their inferiority.

Princess Alice · 2014-05-31 01:13:48

Oh, we're talking about soft pretzels? That changes things.

I figured you meant those little tiny hard pretzels you get in a bag at the grocery store

'Cause I totally dip those in mustard

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:14:14

Well that's less sacrilege and more just weird.

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:14:49

Burgundy Queen said:
No, fuck you.

I'm from Pennsylvania and live an hour from Lancaster. You don't put mustard on pretzels unless they're awful and you need something to hide the fact that they're awful.

Just purchase better soft pretzels, it is that simple.

What about hard pretzels? They taste pretty good with mustard, if the mustard itself is good rather than just bright yellow sludge...

^^ Central Ninja! Wow!

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:17:19

Sredni you're a fellow Pennsylvanian, back me up here.

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:18:57

Oh, on soft pretzels? Yeah, you shouldn't have to put mustard on them; they're supposed to be good enough to eat as their own thing. Not that you can't, but putting bad mustard on a good pretzel makes little sense to me, and good mustard for that sort of thing tends to come in jars, which makes adding it... odd.

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-31 01:20:04

Honey mustard!! :D

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:20:27

I have actually seen Mennonite bakers be offended by people asking for mustard in their bakeries.

The relevant story I made up on twitter was just that, but people do get annoyed about that kind of thing. It's like putting A1 on five-star steak.

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-31 01:21:20

A1 on five-star steak

who would even

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:22:02

Miko said:
A1 on five-star steak
who would even

Right! Who would even put mustard on a Lancasterian pretzel?

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-31 01:23:58

I've had really good soft pretzels that would probably be worsened by mustard.

Obā-san · 2014-05-31 01:23:58

i have never had a large steak

to be honest the idea of eating a SLAB O MEAT as the main attraction of a meal grosses me out just a tad.

Miss Miko Mayonegg · 2014-05-31 01:24:55

A really really good steak is like an orgasm. ^_^ It may be hard to imagine, but it's true.

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:25:56

I can eat a large steak quite handily, if it is reasonably well prepared.

Burgundy Queen said:
It's like putting A1 on five-star steak.

Are we talking steak au poivre or something, or just a really good plain steak?

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:26:40

Sredni Vashtar said:
I can eat a large steak quite handily, if it is reasonably well prepared.

Burgundy Queen said:
It's like putting A1 on five-star steak.
Are we talking steak au poivre or something, or just a really good plain steak?

I don't actually eat steak so I don't know.

My point is that it's really disrespectful to put mustard on a really good soft pretzel!

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:28:01

I do not disagree.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:28:47

There was also a guy once who asked for a cherry on his Schufly pie.

My point is that tourists are fucking stupid.

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:30:25

I think that I have only had that once or twice. It was really good.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:31:23

Schufly pie is life changing.

There are also 90,000 different spellings of it. My mom used to know a baker named Dave Obed whose shop spelled it "Schufly", so that is how I spell it.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:31:59

Just to prove that I am not blindly regionalistic in my love of PA Deutsch food, I will say that I fucking hate scrapple and just kind of don't get it.

Obā-san · 2014-05-31 01:33:51

i would say that i love minnesotan food

but minnesotan food is just other sorts of food either put onto a stick or in a hotdish. :P

or lutefisk

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:34:58

Naney when you visit Sredni make him take you to Lancaster and buy you delicious food. You will not regret it.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:35:17

He might, cuz that shit's expensive, but it's fuckin goooooooood

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:35:32

Or you could go to Intercourse and buy the chintzy "I <3 Intercourse" shirts.

Obā-san · 2014-05-31 01:35:45

Scrapple, also known by the Pennsylvania Dutch name panhaas or "pan rabbit,"[1][2] is traditionally a mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and wheat flour, often buckwheat flour, and spices. The mush is formed into a semi-solid congealed loaf, and slices of the scrapple are then pan-fried before serving

so like it's a cross between meatloaf and sausage?

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:36:31

it's a cross between gross and German drunkenness.

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:36:48

I live in Norristown. Or rather, in the Lower Providence/Norriton region. So we're not too far...

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:37:01

My grandfather Robert and my greatgrandfather Sheldon really loved scrapple. Doesn't run in the family as I cannot stand the stuff.

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:37:24

Yon Assassin said:
Scrapple, also known by the Pennsylvania Dutch name panhaas or "pan rabbit,"[1][2] is traditionally a mush of pork scraps and trimmings combined with cornmeal and wheat flour, often buckwheat flour, and spices. The mush is formed into a semi-solid congealed loaf, and slices of the scrapple are then pan-fried before serving

so like it's a cross between meatloaf and sausage?

Burgundy Queen said:
it's a cross between gross and German drunkenness.

ALL OF THE ABOVE.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:37:32

Sredni Vashtar said:
I live in Norristown. Or rather, in the Lower Providence/Norriton region. So we're not too far...

I'm really awful at geography, what's the nearest big city (or even like, notable city, like a King of Prussia or what have you)?

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:38:13

when Wikipedia describes something as a "mush", you know you're in for....somethin'

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:38:59

I'm pretty close to King of Prussia. The biggest town near us is Norristown (again), but getting to the famous mall by car is pretty easy from here, if I am not mistaken...

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:39:24

it also varies really widely depending on where and even when you get it, so it's hard to quantify.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:39:51

Sredni Vashtar said:
I'm pretty close to King of Prussia. The biggest town near us is Norristown (again), but getting to the famous mall by car is pretty easy from here, if I am not mistaken...

You know I was last in KoP about a year ago now, I wonder if we crossed paths and didn't recognize each other.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:40:26

I live in the area just above the Lehigh Valley myself, near Allentown and Jim Thorpe.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:44:43

have any PA heapers ever figured out where the heck Effort and Results are? I wanna go there sometime.

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:45:15

You're about... I'm not sure how far north of me.

I'm about 45 minutes from Philly by car.

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:45:43

Same actually, maybe just a bit longer.

Sredni Vashtar · 2014-05-31 01:47:52

Might be less, now that I think of it.

Our former house is literally within a five minute wak of the Northeast. It's weird.

Princess Alice · 2014-05-31 01:49:48

Don't make me map both your locations and draw a triangle connecting both of you to Philly.

/TrigonometricAvenue

Salix Babylonika · 2014-05-31 01:50:55

post-move i live in Walnutport, go nuts

anyway it is my bedtime, later heap

Manly McMacho · 2014-05-31 02:09:49

I refuse to believe that people put mustard on pretzels, you made this up to have something to complain about didn't you

if you put mustard on your pretzels

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