Crazy Taxi: Queen City

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  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    I pull up onto the nearest freeway ramp, and within minutes we're leaving Queen City's central business district and heading for the suburbs. The car sounds like it's not having a good time, but hey, what do you expect for an ex-police cruiser with 200,000 miles on it?

    "Heh, I just realized something, Anonus!" I say. "This car's old enough that its odometer is in miles!"

    We're now at the more remote suburbs at the far western edge of Queen City. There's a cluster of gas stations and fast food places at the next exit...this is our last chance to stop for something before the two-hour drive to Colerain, if you want it...
  • I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    we've gotta stop at Fazoli's
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    Sure, why not?

    I pull off at the next exit, make a left at the light, and proceed to the nearest Fazoli's--about a half-mile south along Chamberlain Road, across the street from an all-night car wash. I park in the closest available spot to the door, because I'm lazy.

    We both go inside and sit down for a nice meal. The staff treat us like royalty, which I guess makes sense because we are, but is still a little off-putting because a "fast casual" restaurant isn't exactly the most upscale dining experience.
  • edited 2014-04-20 23:02:36
    I've learned to tolerate drama...except on the boat
    I stuff my mouth full of all the breadsticks in the restaurant! But I make sure to chew and swallow them too!
  • Her Royal Highness Princess Alice of Centralia
    OH YEAH, I'M BACK IN BUSINESS

    AND OFFERING A "HOLY CRAP, JULY'S ALMOST OVER DISCOUNT"

    TONIGHT YOU CAN RIDE FOR FREE BECAUSE I'M BORED!
  • but does your taxi have a pink moustache

    cuz if we ain't talking staches I don't wanna talk
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    *one Princess Magic later*

    Now it does!
  • great

    I need a ride to the nearest urgent care clinic, I stubbed my toe whilst landing from a pull-up bar that I was hanging from like a dumbass
  • You are the end result of a “would you push the button” prompt where the prompt was “you have unlimited godlike powers but you appear to all and sundry to be an impetuous child” – Zero, 2022
    An emergency situation? This calls for driving extra fast!
  • Smee, Maiman, Doktar, Pavelier, Button-Lee, Juan Ovyu
    I don't think Crazy Taxi's fast paced arcade gameplay can be properly emulated through Internet forum posts.

    t. videogame expert
  • edited 2014-07-27 02:05:53
    “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    *leaps into taxi with ORGONE CANNON in tow*

    TAKE ME TO CUBA.
  • why do that when we could bring Cuba to you

    image
  • “I'm surprised. Those clothes… but, aren't you…?”
    ...not that Cuba, unfortunately. And I doubt that you could. They have a court order.
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