Anonus, King of the World

Anonus

ABC Inc is dead. Or at least it is to you.

Riding away from The Communications Center, your home of the last three-and-a-half years, on your Segway (you don't care what anyone else thinks, those things are boss), you contemplate what to do with the next stage of your life.

You want to run across the tops of some buildings. You haven't practiced jumping much, but if you could run between Virginia towns both ways, how hard is it to jump onto the top of a building from ground level?

Salix Babylonika

>stick it in

Anonus

Stick what into what?

Previous Calica

>jam it in

Salix Babylonika

>space jam it in

Anonus

If you could go to Time Warner's headquarters and hold a Space Jam, you totally would. 'Cause it's a slam jam!

How's about you do that?

Tachyon

>stick space jam sandwich in the microwave

Anonus

Good thing you have your Pocket Microwave!

...but you have no idea what a Space Jam Sandwich is. You should invent one.

Time to do some GROCERY SHOPPING! Who cares if the proles gather there? It's so much fun!

Salix Babylonika

>buy some celery

>stick it in (the cart)

Anonus

You haven't even decided which store to go to yet!

There's Whole Foods, King Soopers, Safeway...

Tre

> Go to Asda

Anonus

Asda? That's all the way over in Britain!

And you left your private jet at The Communications Center, fuck. You guess that now is a good time to try using your Segway to cross the ocean!

But you must go on an impromptu road trip to even get to the ocean. What route should you take?

Miss Miko Mayonegg

> Go to Asia.

Anonus

Asia's not on the way to Britain...the closest way, at least.

Where in Asia should you go on your way to Asda?

Imipolex G

Siberia

Anonus

Siberia...Louis B. Mayer used to call Columbia Pictures that.

You also forgot that your Segway can fly! So you fly it all the way to Siberia. You fly over Sony Pictures Studios in Culver City, California, waving at them. But they don't see you wave. You're not going to own them anyway, so what was the point?

And for good measure, you fly over Lions Gate's office in Santa Monica. They must be pumped for Divergent.

Now you've landed in Siberia. The city of Magadan, to be specific. You have no idea what you're doing here.

Klinotaxis

You are in Siberia to adapt some works of

Yuri Rytkheu