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A Stormcloak trooper was attending some College of Winterhold courses between assignments.

AlduinAlduin
edited 2013-11-24 03:03:51 in General
He had completed missions in Whiterun and Markarth. One of the courses had an Altmer professor who was an avowed Auri-El worshiper and a member of the Aldmeri Dominion. One day he shocked the class when he came in, looked to the ceiling, and flatly stated, "Talos, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you exactly 15 minutes." 

The lecture room fell silent. You could hear a sweetroll drop. Ten minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, "Here I am Talos. I'm still waiting." 

It got down to the last couple of minutes when the Stormcloak got out of his chair, went up to the professor, and cold-cocked him; knocking him off the platform. The professor was out cold. The Stormcloak went back to his seat and sat there, silently. The other students were shocked and stunned and sat there looking on in silence. 

The Altmer professor eventually came to, noticeably shaken, looked at the Stormcloak and asked, "What the hell is the matter with you? Why did you do that?" 

The Stormcloak calmly replied, "Talos was too busy today protecting Ulfric's soldiers who are protecting your right to say stupid shit and act like an asshole. So He sent me."

The Stormcloak was then sent to Northwatch, where he was tortured for the rest of his life.

Comments

  • TachyonTachyon
    imagei will watch the heck outta this pumpkin patch
    for the rest of his life??

    lazy dragonborn, must be sleeping on the job
  • HexartesHexartes
    Silly Acer, only one person ever walks out of a fight in TES games.
  • AlduinAlduin
    The person who has access to weaponry and personnel from the largest military power currently on Tamriel?
  • HexartesHexartes
    What I'm getting at is that every single fight in TES ends with death. The most egregious example I can think of off the top of my head is the escort mission wih Huleeya in Morrowind. Like, shouldn't that have just been a bar brawl or something?

    There are a lot of series that I adore but I can think of soooo many problems with, now that I think about it.
  • AlduinAlduin
    Except if you cast Calm or pay the court a fine or serve your sentence.
  • HexartesHexartes
    I jus find it odd that no one ever retreats, and that the player has to be the one who prevents bandits and such from dying.
  • FossilmaidenFossilmaiden
    image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
    Kexruct said:

    What I'm getting at is that every single fight in TES ends with death. The most egregious example I can think of off the top of my head is the escort mission wih Huleeya in Morrowind. Like, shouldn't that have just been a bar brawl or something?

    There are a lot of series that I adore but I can think of soooo many problems with, now that I think about it.

    Skyrim. Bar fights.
  • HexartesHexartes
    And that a few racist scumbags' first reaction on seeing you help an Argonian out is to try killing you both.
  • HexartesHexartes
    Fossilmaiden said:

    Kexruct said:

    What I'm getting at is that every single fight in TES ends with death. The most egregious example I can think of off the top of my head is the escort mission wih Huleeya in Morrowind. Like, shouldn't that have just been a bar brawl or something?

    There are a lot of series that I adore but I can think of soooo many problems with, now that I think about it.

    Skyrim. Bar fights.
    Very refreshing change of pace, certainly. The bar brawls were one of my favorite parts in Skyrim, actually. But it doesn't really change the fact that almost all confrontations end with far more corpses than they started with.
  • AlduinAlduin
    Kexruct said:

    Fossilmaiden said:

    Kexruct said:

    What I'm getting at is that every single fight in TES ends with death. The most egregious example I can think of off the top of my head is the escort mission wih Huleeya in Morrowind. Like, shouldn't that have just been a bar brawl or something?

    There are a lot of series that I adore but I can think of soooo many problems with, now that I think about it.

    Skyrim. Bar fights.
    Very refreshing change of pace, certainly. The bar brawls were one of my favorite parts in Skyrim, actually. But it doesn't really change the fact that almost all confrontations end with far more corpses than they started with.B
    Bar fights were fun but there was no Hand-to-Hand skill in Skyrim. >:

  • HavenHaven
    Let me tell you. About Fallen London.
    89% of Nords will read this thread without sharing.
  • FossilmaidenFossilmaiden
    image Wee yea erra chs hymmnos mea.
    Haven said:

    89% of Nords will read this thread without sharing.

    Nords are jerks anyway. Screw Nords.
  • AlduinAlduin
    Fossilmaiden said:

    Haven said:

    89% of Nords will read this thread without sharing.

    Nords are jerks anyway. Screw Nords.
    Would you rather hang out with those knife-ears?
  • HexartesHexartes
    Acererak said:

    Fossilmaiden said:

    Haven said:

    89% of Nords will read this thread without sharing.

    Nords are jerks anyway. Screw Nords.
    Would you rather hang out with those knife-ears?
    Depends on the knife-ear. 
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