I wonder if I should be a lawyer?

glennmagusharvey

I seem to have no aversion to talking about anything on a conceptual level.  It's struck me that I seem to have developed a skill for attempting to analyze and discuss everything from war crimes to blatant sexism to horribly obnoxious people almost without batting an eye.  I mean, if they come up in a discussion, I find them highly offensive, but I can just go right on talking about them and picking them apart in my head.

Tachyon

do you like the ace attorney games

this is important

glennmagusharvey

Never played them.  I do know a number of Phoenix Wrong memes though.

Viani

You'll have to learn dark politics first. New lawyers are set up to fail quite a lot in the judicial system to defend people that the high majority of anyone else in the room believe is guilty, and trying to be analytically just in those kinds of cases tends to set you up for failure.

glennmagusharvey

I thought, for cases where you unequivocally know that your client is guilty, you're supposed to try your best to get them the lightest sentence possible.

Or get the case thrown out on a technicality.

Viani

In other words, if you get to know some senators or politicians, and "bail them out" on certain crimes, you'll be able to earn enough lawyer cred to work on more important cases.

^ that too.

Tanya

You don't want a criminal lawyer, you want a 'criminal' lawyer.

glennmagusharvey

I think the order of preference of criminal trial result, for the defendant, goes:

proven innocent > judged innocent > technically innocent > mistrial > fine or community service > shorter prison time > longer prison time > life sentence > death penalty

At least, this is what I know from watching too much Law & Order.

Tanya

Life ain't like the T.V.

Most people plead guilty.

Imipolex G

what do you call a dozen lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

...

...

a good start.

Viani

shut the fuck up donny

Tanya

Pillows said:

what do you call a dozen lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Cthulhu's friends.

Viani

Counterclock said:

Pillows said:

what do you call a dozen lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?

Cthulhu's friends.

the pelagic firm.

BAW HAW HAW

glennmagusharvey

Viani wins

punality

Bee

Wooooooow.  I'm not sure whether to love you or hate you for that pun.  -_-

Life ain't like the T.V.

Most people plead guilty.

In many cases, whether or not they're guilty.  About 20% of exonerated inmates outright confessed to a crime they didn't commit, and there's not really any way of telling how many took a plea bargain.

It doesn't help that public defense lawyers tend to be hideously overworked, underpaid, and constantly at their wits' end.