Summarize long novels in under ten words

Mr. Darcy · 2013-09-19 19:11:15

War and Peace

Napoleon invades a Jane Austen novel.

Ulysses

Dublin man relives the Odyssey on his daily walk.

glennmagusharvey · 2013-09-19 19:16:05

The Great Gatsby

Some rich people do a lot of nothing.

glennmagusharvey · 2013-09-19 19:17:10

The Scarlet Letter

Attempts serious recounting of colonies' first experience with sex scandal.

glennmagusharvey · 2013-09-19 19:17:36

Catch-22

Documented results of treating war as shitposting

Obā-san · 2013-09-19 19:18:41

But neither of those three are long

glennmagusharvey · 2013-09-19 19:19:20

Lord of the Flies

The perils of survivalism without social skills

glennmagusharvey · 2013-09-19 19:20:15

> But neither of those three are long

If I were to print them out with 11-point Calibri font in one-inch margin letter-size pages they would last more than twenty pages. Therefore they are long.

Bee · 2013-09-19 20:49:38

Don Quixote

The first sitcom

Imipolex G · 2013-09-19 22:04:36

Gravity's Rainbow

Phallic rockets fall and everyone has hallucinations

Illuminatus!

Everything is a conspiracy against everything else, including itself

Alduin · 2013-09-20 08:39:34

Atlas Shrugged

Bioshock.

Fossilmaiden · 2013-09-20 08:45:20

Sabriel

Girl falls in love with boat figurehead. Also zombies.

Yarrun XIX · 2013-09-20 09:13:05

Slaughterhouse-5: Man captured in Germany, hallucinates, travels.

Mr. Darcy · 2013-09-20 14:57:57

Lord of the Rings

Midgets must go hiking to destroy jewelry.

Bee · 2013-09-20 15:21:52

Acererak said:
Atlas Shrugged

Bioshock.

Bullshit. Bioshock is at least a decent story.

Aliroz · 2013-09-20 15:25:04

Finnegan's Wake

sast habbrit coojomin echolo

Alduin · 2013-09-21 13:28:52

Bee said:

Acererak said:
Atlas Shrugged

Bioshock.
Bullshit. Bioshock is at least a decent story.

Yeah, and Andrew Ryan is more likable than John Galt.

Beholder · 2013-09-21 13:40:24

The Fountainhead:

Capitalism sucks, says Ayn Rand. Also Dominique needs therapy

Justice4243 · 2013-09-21 15:16:33

A Clockwork Orange:

A maladjusted malcontent decides that quiet family life is best.

Imipolex G · 2013-09-21 15:30:44

^only if you include that useless last chapter

Justice4243 · 2013-09-21 15:57:17

I like the last chapter, I think it makes the message of the story more poignant.

Imipolex G · 2013-09-21 16:01:32

I have finally met someone who likes the last chapter!

Hexartes · 2013-09-21 16:05:50

War and Peace (so far)

Rich people have parties. Rostov is astoundingly gay.

Tachyon · 2013-09-21 16:18:12

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame

A magnificent cathedral, then time passes; society's to blame.

House of Leaves

A guy dies, leaving weird metafictional notes.

Gulliver's Travels

People everywhere suck, horses are cool though.

Bee · 2013-09-21 17:09:39

If the Houyhnhmn were that awesome they'd pick a name that was easier to fucking spell.

Mr. Darcy · 2013-09-21 17:13:06

^ "Ponies"

Bee · 2013-09-21 17:23:26

Ponyfic is quite inundated enough with misanthropic horsecrap about how humans are EVIL except my totally good self-insert, thanks.

Because I sat down to read it again,

The Master and Margarita

People are fucked up but love is still worth it.

Mr. Darcy · 2013-09-21 17:46:21

Bee said:
The Master and Margarita

People are fucked up but love is still worth it.

Stalinism is bad due to bureaucracy. Look, demon cat!

Bee · 2013-09-21 17:52:29

WHO ELSE BUT BEHEMOTH ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

MetaFour · 2013-09-21 18:00:11

Crime and Punishment

Lonely intellectual is a bad criminal. Being ubermensch is overrated.

Tachyon · 2013-09-21 18:06:09

Harry Potter

Mass murderer repeatedly fails to kill one boy.

Bee · 2013-09-21 18:12:18

Redwall

Adorable woodland creatures violently dismember each other.

MetaFour · 2013-09-21 18:13:07

The Idiot

"Love will save us all"? No.

VALIS

We're still in Roman Empire. God-satellite told me.

Imipolex G · 2013-09-21 18:21:12

Gormenghast

I'mma describe every inch of this big old castle.

Nineteen Eighty-Four

Don't fuck with Big Brother

Justice4243 · 2013-09-21 18:30:40

Ponyfic is quite inundated enough with misanthropic horsecrap about how humans are EVIL except my totally good self-insert, thanks.

GIVE ME YOUR FIMFICTION NAME!

Bee · 2013-09-21 19:19:36

NEVAR

i is ninja bee

Justice4243 · 2013-09-21 19:25:00

YOUR NAME NETS ME NOTHING BUT NARUTO CROSSOVER STORIES.

Bee · 2013-09-21 19:51:55

Seriously? XD

EDIT: Oh, you actually searched for "Ninja Bee". That's kind of hilarious.

I haven't written anything.

Viani · 2013-09-21 21:12:50

Requiem for a Dream
What do you mean it was based on a book?

Justice4243 · 2013-09-21 22:08:56

Bee said:
Seriously? XD

EDIT: Oh, you actually searched for "Ninja Bee". That's kind of hilarious.

I haven't written anything.

FAIR ENOUGH!

glennmagusharvey · 2013-09-22 00:15:13

FAIR ENOUGH!

And from that day forward, festivities were banned at the Heapers' Hangout.

Beholder · 2013-09-22 09:16:20

Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell

Faeries know not of sense and sensibility

Hexartes · 2013-09-22 12:36:43

Bee said:
Redwall

Adorable woodland creatures violently dismember each other.

Animals invade Redwall. Others leave Redwall. Rinse and repeat.

Fossilmaiden · 2013-09-22 13:44:10

Tachyon said:
Harry Potter

Mass murderer repeatedly fails to kill one boy.

Harry Potter

The fall and rise and fall of a lich.

American Gods

Sometimes Wednesdays are just terrible.

Previous Calica · 2013-09-22 14:11:27

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Arthur Dent never could get the hang of Thursdays.

Hexartes · 2013-09-22 21:49:47

spinor said:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Arthur Dent never could get the hang of Thursdays.

Can anyone, though?

Aliroz · 2013-09-22 23:25:34

Kexruct said:

spinor said:
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

Arthur Dent never could get the hang of Thursdays.
Can anyone, though?

I can.

I love Thursday!

Imipolex G · 2013-09-22 23:39:52

The Man Who Was Thursday

Absolutely nobody is who they seem to be

Sredni Vashtar · 2013-09-24 04:28:24

The Name Of The Rose: "I wanted to kill a monk."

Foucault's Pendulum: IT'S A CONSPIRACY.

New Grub Street: Being Hack Writer is suffering.

Shogun: JAPAN.

lee4hmz · 2013-09-24 11:59:37

Charlie and the Great Glass Elevator: Wonka meets the Squiddles!

Bee · 2013-09-24 14:51:41

The Iliad

Achilles prolongs war over petty squabble, still considered hero.

Tachyon · 2013-09-24 14:55:35

that's not a novel! </nitpick>

:p

Summarize long novels in under ten words

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